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And gentleman. . Sorry life's twists.


Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15
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Quote:
Keep a diary of what he says, any hand gestures,your perception of what he said and if at any time you felt threatened. If you have all that then it can be used in the court process. I can attest to the fact that feelings and perceptions can carry weight even if they are false.


Smokey would get verbally abusive and threatening when he used. I remember learning how I had the right to call 911 even if JUST PERCEIVED I was being threatened.

Most states are very hard-nosed and cautious when it comes to domestic violence.

Get the information Julie, empower yourself.

And, I hope your knee feels better :-)


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Sorry Julie,
I was going to write about how my W actually uses the movie Frozen to justify her MLC behavior. Like she has been hiding "her true self" all along, only she doesn't seem to understand the part where she has to reintegrate and go back to her old life and responsibilities like Elsa does.

Now I can't believe what your H said to you! I wouldn't say that to my worst enemy. What a tool! Your journals (at least in my state) can be used as evidence if it comes down to you having to protect yourself. Also, cruelty is something that the courts take in consideration in D. In TX "spousal support" (no alimony here) can be increased and extended if there is verbal or physical abuse. For him to be that much of an a$$hat for zero reason is as low as it comes. It is a way to bait you, get you to react. Be careful and document everything.

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Julie, I cannot believe he said that. What and @ss. I’m with Shining… RE: the question about his headache…


M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state
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Thank you everyone for your support. I feel like h is spiraling afajn. He had leveled out for a while. We wer e able to exist and he rarely said anything to me.

But for a few weeks now he has been teaching out in anger and hatred again. In addition to that he s on a self destruct mode. Tonight he passed out/fell asleep while cooking something and kept sleeping through smoke detectors and house filling with smoke. This is the same thing that happened a few weekends ago when step kids were over as well as 2 x before.

Tonight he aploogized. When I said I did not feel safe with s alone with him he did not respond. He took off on foot hours ago.

How much farther down can he go.? This is one of the reasons I not pushing him to leave. I don't want s alone with him and I don't want to have to wait for something bad to happen to prove I was right. I can't afford to get back with attny right now but I will be doing a lot of research tomorrow.


Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 528
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Sorry about all editing errors. Hope that was understandable


Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,666
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Julie,

What about Legalaid? If you file an application for help with a dissolution, they could give you some support and guidance with all this? I considered it myself at one point.

I know from experience that verbal/emotional abuse can be insidious. Gradually, before you know it, you are accepting the unacceptable as normal. Gather as many objective minds around you as possible in order to make the best decisions.

You could call the local domestic violence helpline and, anonymously, give them the details of the situation. They would know the laws in your state and help you feel a bit empowered.

Just a thought.

(((((((((Lots of hugs to you and your son))))))))))

Heather


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Julie,

What he is doing is unsafe for your son and you. Just before my wife attempted suicide earlier this year I found out she was passing out with my daughters at her apartment. After her attempt DCF was involved. They got her to sign the girls over to me on a temporary basis till she completed treatment. If she had not they would have gone into court.

You need to be concerned for your son and you right now. If you have an IC, I hope you are telling that person about these incidents. They can write a letter to the court for you documenting what you have told them and their observations. Your journal will hold up in court. I would also consider using DCF in your state.

Last edited by Lifes Twists; 07/31/14 12:22 PM.

Twisting on Life's Rope
Me53
W53
M20
D21 D19 D16
BD 2-2013
D final 1-2015
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Yes. I tell my therapist everything. Planning to talk to s therapist today about resources to help me protect him.


Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,103
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Julie,
I know that your H is still living at home with you "for your S" is what he says. It may be that like my W, he is resenting having to stay at home because, inside, what he really wants to do is run. I now know that no matter how much "space" I gave my W, until she got what SHE wanted, to move out "on her own", she was never going to move forward. Now that she has, of course, she is still using me as her reason for being unhappy (now, because she is stressed because I won't just give her all the things she wants to move into "her" new home). I think there are many MLCers who just must get what they perceive as what they "need" before they can move forward at all. Until then, they are going to get more and more upset and resentful. Like you, I allowed my W to spew, to go out all night, take trips, neglect the kids, I just left her alone to sort things out but she just couldn't because she wanted to run and she was stuck.

She would use anything as an excuse that I was the cause of any bad feeling. I got spewed on for offering her food with her seriously telling me I was trying to purposely feed her food that would give her a heart attack because I wanted her dead and to collect her insurance. The list is long but what I am saying is he may say he is staying for his S but he see's you as in his way from getting the life he needs to be happy. It may be that he must leave the home before he can even start to move forward. And at this point, the way he is acting, it may be for the best.

Just a thought.

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