I'm sure the dpt of house will keep you bogged down in a gal fashion! Lol I'm not envious of that task.
Maybe check out some of the karma stories I have on my thread. Some of them Truely sad. It does seems karma comes, and takes its toll. My fave saying which h never understood was
Don't get even, get ahead! I'm so far a ahead in 6months, it's incredible, not that there is no emotional toll or baggage.
Living well is the best revenge. So as one of my besties says tits up, out and walk on with dignity. It does make you feel bettera!
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Today my H and I had to put our beautiful 15 yr old dog to sleep, we were both crying, he was such a good dog, truly one in a million, he was found wandering onto a farm and usually farmers shoot on site, but they took one look at him and thought they'd be better trying to get someone to take him, 6 weeks went by and no one wanted him, and just before they had him put down they placed one last ad, and I answered it literally hours before his demise, that was 10 years ago, he has been through everything with us, played with, protected and loved all of us, unconditionally. He will missed, H is coming over shortly so that we can tell our 7 yr old together.
That's pretty sad. Loosing dogs is hard, I've had heaps over the years.
Our latest loss was a 16yo chi, I phone h and yet again he ignored the call dog was going down hill. Asked him to phone back, when he had time. Well yes 6 days later, and s16 had to shoot his own dog, dog was unable to stand snd poor dog had wet himself.
Later when I got that return call 6 days later, I was so pi$$ed orf, all I could do was tell him he shut the door, I'm not discussing s16 and my life with you. Sigh how can they go so hard hearted towards the step son, but then expect s16 will want to spend time with him?
Shakes head at how he thinks he's upright and honnerable!
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
I honestly didn't think I would grieve like I have today, I know most of it was for our gorgeous dog, but for me it was another ending in our r. H an I have had our dog since the first 6 months we were together. feels like yet another reminder of where we are now. Our eldest son hasn't really said much, H and I told him to get, poor s7 got flustered and started to giggle, and then felt bad, I told him it's ok to laugh, that it's just nerves. H was emotional when telling s7, visibly crying. talked to him briefly later tonight, I think he was also aware that the passing of our dog was the end of an era for our r. gg, how awful for you and your son, I can't imagine how painful that would have been for your son, I am grateful that my H and I were able to do it together. H also paid my holding deposit for my new house today so that was nice, I thanked him and said as soon as my money went in, I'd return it, he said just make sure you're OK. Long, emotional day today. to my beautiful puppy, where ever you are, I hope that you always get the last lick in xo
s7 woke up this morning saying he had a tummy ache and felt sad about our dog, I gave him lots of tlc, made the decision to keep him home from school, spend the day with me, I did this because I think that yesterday was probably just icing on the cake for him, his when world has been turned upside down, the twins are only three, and though I know they are aware of what's going on, it's a little simpler for them and they have each other, I took s7 to see our new house today, he seemed to like it, so that made me happy, we had a minor argument, about him buying a toy which quickly escalated into him saying he hated me and that I'm just a liar (this doesn't bother me, he's 7 and lashing out, I can take it) however I believe I'm at a point where h needs to see this behavior, so I rang him for back up, H came down and had a chat with s7, the situation again back in control. glad h came and he thanked me for calling him. I think he may be starting to see the impact of his decision. he's come around tonight to drop off boxes, I had a client that he knows so we were all just had a brief chat. When h last client said she couldn't believe we're s, she said he still flirty talks to you like a w, interesting enough she's the second person to say that today. hmm mmm, strange days...
madly packing today, I move into my new place on Friday,have been dealing with the dept of housing all morning, that is not a fun task, I received a letter from the guy I rent space from in regards to my business, he's a total a*se hole, H rang this morning at the wrong moment and it was just too much, H volunteering g to help, I semi broke down, god u hate him knowing I'm defeated. H said he would speak to the guy about the issues at my work, which he did, I and I thanked for it too. I don't get it, why is he being so nice, I mean he is a nice guy, one of the reasons I love him, he says he's not doing it out of guilt, that he just wants to help, it just seems a little weird to me, any of the men on this forum want to shed some light? I've never been on this position before and I have no idea how to db/dr this.
tonight was tough, I had a minor meltdown, didn't adhere to very many of sandi's rules, just a long tough day, packing, twins going crazy, dept of housing, s7 is booked in for counselling(that's a small positive.)
h came over, one because its family night and two to help dismantle the kids beds, help with some packing. iwas already flat by the time he got here, and when I started to pack away all our joint memory things, wedding stuff, home videos family mementos, I really lost it, he asked what was wrong, I said I was sick of being the keeper of the sh*t(you know all the stuff that reminds you of what was, why do women always end up with that stuff??) and I think I then launched into I had every right to angry, p*ssed off, and hurt, and that in the past few weeks id done pretty well holding it all together. h didn't really argue too much, took it in.
I did apologise straight away, explained that its just been a rough couple of days, then I started to cry, he was giving me hugs, kisses on the top of my head, saying that he'd do anything to help, and that he really was sorry. that he wasn't helping because he felt guilty, but that he wanted to help.
a little later he said he would like to take some of our memories, photos etc, just not right now(as in tonight) I said take your time they'll be there.
there was a pile of framed photos sitting on top, and h asked if he could take the one on top, I said sure, it was one of us on our wedding day, kissing. I didn't react, but wth??
we were talking in general later, about his house and my house, and it was a nice easy conversation, I said to him, at some point we are going to have to talk about the elephant in the room, he said yes we do, I was referring to the ow, I think he may have been talking about d. good god, how do you navigate around all this?
as he was leaving, he said he'd try to get someone to watch the boys tomorrow night so he could come over and help a bit more(the boys will be with him tomorrow night) I said that would be great if he could, but I would understand if he couldn't, that I appreciated all the help he had given so far.
we had to move our cars around as he was going, he's leaned in the car window to say goodbye and gave me a kiss(again ????) when I was going inside, I didn't even think, I just did what I normally used to do and yelled out "love ya!" (and then inwardly cringed-told you no dbing here tonight) and he responded with "love you too"
maybe there was a little bit of db in there tonight, I would never in the past had a meltdown(and trust me they've been much worse) and apologised straight away, iwould sulked and ben like a dog with a bone, just kept repeating the same vitriol over and over.
I wouldn't have seen the look on his face and seen this is actually affecting him too, that he responds to my responses.
hmmmm, just a tough place to be in, the move will be a great thing, a new start, a new outlook.
have I a whole lot of damage tonight? I don't know, I saw a few positives, but I could reading into things?? thoughts anyone?
thanks mlp, maybe your right, maybe this is exactly where I'm meant to be, I know patience is a big lesson for me. I like the idea of new beginnings with old friends and partners:) keep that porch light on...
