Have I any hope... (part 2)

[25yearsmlc]

I thought she said a big problem (which you agreed with) was your work schedule b/c you two never had time together as a family or a couple,

and your night shift work kept you apart. I thought you decided to take the pay cut to save your m, b/c otherwise she'd know nothing much would change.

What happened to all that?

Why would she believe things are going to be so different?

[bashy]

I have applied for day shift in work. I was told they'd accept me on days 100% but I must wait for someone to leave on day shift first. Did this a few months ago. In the meantime I'm also into the second phase of interviews to join the police. So she's aware I'm actively trying to get back on a day shift.

[bashy]

Sorry 25. The kissing thing was triggered as I watched a film last night. Weird huh?!?

Y didn't we kiss more. She didn't seem to want to. I remember asking her about it a few times and she said she wasn't a fan of it. I brushed it under the carpet stupidly.

[bashy]

Just got a text from an unknown number telling me WAW has OM and his first name. Devastated.

Rang her angry to say I do not want him meeting D for at least another year.
She went mad. Asking who told me. I refused to say anything. Hung up.

Then i rang back to apologise for my tone. She was livid. Wants to know who told me. Said it was none of my business who she saw. She'll do what she wants. I'd done this to her three times in the past (ie texting girls). Our marriage is dead. She was shouting etc. I kept calm till the end then started shouting. I regret this last bit.

Devastated!

[bashy]

What an awful day. Dad has just had a heart attack. Im in hospital as I type this. Talk about being kicked when down!!!

[Maybell]

I'm so sorry. I will be thinking of you.

[bashy]

Thanks Maybell. Much appreciated.

WAW rang a few times yesterday to see how I was. Was nice of her.
After initial row about OM we had a pleasant chat. She said she felt huge weight off shoulders knowing that I now no OM is real plus his name. That she 'll always love me, wants me to be happy etc etc.

I told her I respected her decision, if she's happy then fine, that D was priority.... then maybe did something stupid.

Told her I married for life, that OM has a fight on his hands ie I won't give up on WAW, but that I was still moving on with my life and try to be the best man I could.

We joked about me saying that I was still fighting for marriage until divorce papers came through and even then id fight on. She laughed and said I already had them.... I reminded her I had given them back. She didn't get serious and mention it again.

Anyway, continue darkness. GAL. Seeing counsellor tomorrow to discuss ways of detaching.

[CS000]

I just caught up on your sitch and you're in my thoughts. I'm not sure if you should have told your W about fighting for her but it's done just keep working on yourself. The OM isn't all of the problem either, it's what led to the breakdown of your M too. Even if he is out of the picture, it doesn't clear the way unless you make changes and obviously if your W does too. Stay strong!

[bashy]

Heh CS. I regretted fighting for marriage comment as soon as I said it. This whole thing is killing me but what can I do but keep busy, be the better man, look good and get on with life.

As fair as she's concerned, she's single, not married and can date who she likes. To be it's an affair and I hope it fizzles out.

I've a counsellor meeting tomorrow and spoke last time with her about detaching etc. hopefully she'll push me in this direction then.

In meantime WAW text today asking about my dad. I know she has a good heart but her head is all over the place at the minute. She told me she was prescribed tablets for her anxiety yesterday.

Trying to keep busy as off due to my dad. So in between seeing him I'm trying to stay busy by going out with friend for some fun and laughs. But god it's tough.

[Anders]

Really sorry to hear about your dad Bashy. My thoughts are with you.