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Joined: Jun 2014
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Dev's thread in the infidelity forum is excellent. I was reading it today.

I don't have the stomach for the LRT, but I'm so impressed by those who do. I'm terrified of it, myself.

I wonder how many people make it through this without getting to LRT.

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
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its hard to LRT with w in home and 3 kids with activities to coordinate. she can be so friendly in interactions, a lot more so than when she was in mist of A last fall. we get along for most part very well. she has to see the change in my conversations with her, she will get a little testy trying to push my buttons and for majority of time I don't argue with her. she has told me recently I am a wonderful person and she is happy for me with the changes she has seen with R with kids and commitment to God.< I don't want to be a part time dad> it just gets frustrating to hear her say this and then say she still wants a D. she has been talking about a D or apt. for 6 months now.I have not once changed my position that I do feel heartfelt pain for her unhappiness I just am not on same page that a D is the answer. she will get angry and try to intimidate me and I have not lost my temper! she may storm out of room and pout but I let her go! she then calms down!. I don't know if other M is still in picture, she claims he is not, but then told me she was seeing someone else! next day she tells me she isn't! I know the rules believe nothing she tells me. last conversation 6 days ago she said lets keep lawyers out of it. I told her I agree but she needs to do the work I cant participate in that! I just wont be a part of breaking up marriage and family! I don't think she has done anything other than talk to a friend who is a sec. for an attorney! she has an interview coming up this week for a teaching job an hr away. she would need to get an apt for logistic reasons. told her I would work with her on that! she and I both agree that we must be close friends for the kids sake. <my thinking is what the heck do you want a D for> anyway I told her we need to put the work in to be better friends and maybe do some counseling together. we would need to sell home etc.. the counseling idea is not in her vocabulary. I figure she will corner me in next few days and try again! I know resisting makes them more determined however she needs to feel consequences of her actions.


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
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Posts: 441
the mlc is in effect hear. her childhood issues from no love from dad are resurfacing. lack of self esteem. still trying to have dad pay attention to her. its a problem that is effecting her life, my life, our kids life and very frustrating! Sure I know how I could have been more supportive. more listening etc... but the childhood issues need to be delt with or they will follow her wherever she go s


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
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Posts: 441
I don't know what to think. I have been detaching w love this week.I Noticed something different in the way wife has
Been acting around me. I texted her this am checking if it was ok to ask our 12 yr old D to go to Casting crowns concert tomorrow night. She new I had tickets and might have been surprised I didn't ask her. Anyway d excepted. Tonight I had bible study, got home to pick wallet up. Wife and D were in wifes room. I told them I was going out for pizza. D informed me she couldn't go her team had to play make up game. I told her no problem. W followed me to truck and asked if I was disappointed . I assured her I was fine I could ask someone else and left it at that. Got home from pizza and w asked about bible study told her it was great. Kept it very friendly but short. As I was leaving her room she told me she changed my sheets and made my bed. I thanked her and said goodnight. I will take it. 7 days in a row no talk about a D. Weekends always seem to be the worst. We hope this is a good one


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I
igit Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I don't know what to think. I have been detaching w love this week.I Noticed something different in the way wife has
Been acting around me. I texted her this am checking if it was ok to ask our 12 yr old D to go to Casting crowns concert tomorrow night. She new I had tickets and might have been surprised I didn't ask her. Anyway d excepted. Tonight I had bible study, got home to pick wallet up. Wife and D were in wifes room. I told them I was going out for pizza. D informed me she couldn't go her team had to play make up game. I told her no problem. W followed me to truck and asked if I was disappointed . I assured her I was fine I could ask someone else and left it at that. Got home fromeery pizza and w asked about bible study told her it was great. Kept it very friendly but short. As I was leaving her room she told me she changed my sheets and made my bed. I thanked her and said goodnight. I will take it. 7 days in a row no talk about a D. Weekends always seem to be the worst. We hope this is a good one


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
Went to Casting Crowns concert last night. it was at outdoor Amphitheatre and it rained the whole concert. I took my pastor and we had a great time. Anybody needing something positive in there life . Go see the Casting Crowns. I got home around 1230. checked on kids in bed, wife was in bed with one of twins. Still awake , she has been up to last 9 months a very spiritual person who loved her Christian bands. Casting Crowns being her favorite. she asked me how concert was , I was very moved by concert, its hard to describe other than its all about Jesus and the path to true happiness. All I could do was give her a kiss on cheek and tell her I could never be mean to her. she hugged me got up and went and got 6 cd's of Casting Crown to give to me. I asked her if she wanted to listen to some together and she said she was very tired. I kindly said goodnight and went to bed. she texted me and said she was sorry she was tired. my pastor has been a rock for me. he knows my wife and told me to just hang in there with her. Wife has been very nice this week, hasn't been out after dinner or late at night. only once in last 10days. The detaching for me was good this week , I felt like I slipped a little last night but the Christian concerts is something we both like and her getting back to that would be a positive step for her.


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I
igit Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
Wen to work this am. Met up with wife at daughters softball game. Wife very quiet today. She is spending day w kids. I am off to work. We see what her plans are for evening. Noticed a book she was reading on happiness. It seems to me she is reflecting, trying to stay back from her so I am not to blame


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I
igit Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
Wen to work this am. Met up with wife at daughters softball game. Wife very quiet today. She is spending day w kids. I am off to work. We see what her plans are for evening. Noticed a book she was reading on happiness. It seems to me she is reflecting, trying to stay back from her so I am not to blame


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I
igit Offline OP
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OP Offline
Member
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
Not a good night. Went to dinner with boys. Wife was home when we got home. She was mad because it was 9 and said boys should be in bed. I said look it's sat.night and there camping out in my room. I asked her why she was so angry. Then she blew up. Went to her room and I followed her. Bad move. I brought book I was reading which had some relevant reading on healing soul etc... she is very angry saying she is mad because I won't help with divorce. I said stop I know how you feel I just don't agree that D is answer. Then it got ugly she said then we will spend $20k.a piece on attorneys. She pulled me into fight and I couldn't bite my tongue. I told her I thought she had been depressed the last 2 yrs. And she then started swearing, criticizing me for religion etc. I told her not to take her frustration out on me. She is one running from God.it was not good, I brought up the A. And told her how wrong it was and that is why she wanted D no counceling etc...I left her room angry.slammed door, not very good.


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I am just frustrated beyond frustrated. She has rewritten marriage. Was nasty all week. I told her people at church missed her, she statted cussing about last 8 years at church and how miserable it was and how she didn't like people there. That is why she is going to a new church.


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

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