T2... I did drop the rope & have declined all offers from him. I would say this is throwing the rope back at him.
Matt... I agree with the resentment comment too... he has resented me for being too good.... GEEZ!!!
I have been listening. I have been showing my actions, as well. I know its holding me back, hearing that he "may" want me once "xyz" is done. However, I have not let it stop me from moving forward. I also KNOW that he would not say this, if he didn't mean it. He does not need to soften the blow to me at this point any more. In fact, he has NEVER protected me from painful truths... if he was moving on he would be blunt and state things that hurt me... He has not. He is trying to keep me "there" where he left me, while he is "unsure". In MLC, they are confused. ... and I believe with all my soul... he is confused & consumed by purchasing the business location these days.... the closing ends on the 31st.
Knowing this ^^^ it has now forced me to not be "there". On June 13, I presented an offer to him of reconciliation. Basically I said "you can come back now, if you're ready"... He clearly stated "I am not ready, yet"... Since then, I have pulled myself & pushed away from EVERY opportunity. This is me closing all doors. The only opening, is in a box on the shelf... I can't help that the box keeps falling on the floor.
I do see that what I was doing before... being convenient, etc would come across as pressure. I am removing any and all pressure from this. I understand that any and all R talk is pressure... I just don't get why he "talks" ... is it JUST for temp check? (to ensure I am there... but, won't follow thru??). <<< This is why I now understand that there can be NO MORE R talks.... its pointless. So, is "seeing" him outside of work for social time. I am not "available" on his requests... just to be put back on the shelf for another time. I deserve & want better!
I am working on being the best MM I can be... and I am starting to like her... she loves deeply & DOES have a standard.
Last edited by makingmagic; 07/24/1406:35 PM.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
T2 & Gabby... but that wouldn't be keeping a window open.
Every day, I look for ways to untangle myself from him... to push away. (I think this is HUGE for me).
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Well, I am looking for ways to not be in his "space"...
leaving work early yesterday for example. He wanted to get coffee & sit at work (his little social connection). I grabbed him a coffee, dropped him off at work & left. We don't both need to be there together... all of the time.
I also, ONLY call if absolutely necessary. Even if work related, if its not MAJOR important... I don't call, it can wait. I fill him in when HE calls me.
I don't ask questions about HIS real estate deal or much about his work errands... He offers info.
I don't bring up social subjects to discuss.
I dunno... just things to get off his pant leg!
T2... how?... as long as I love him, it will remain open... but slowly closing it too.
Last edited by makingmagic; 07/24/1407:02 PM.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
for the record... not are a lot of the relationships on this website are either... but, we cannot help who we love.
I am working on being a healthy person.
He is still a good person, regardless of being unhealthy & confused. He never cheated on me, was not physically abusive, helped me raise my daughter with love, supported me, cared for my parents, and continues to still care for me. He has STILL not been emotional or physical with another AND admits repeatedly that he still loves me & is not convinced that we can not reconcile. <<<< I think these are qualities that are not found very easily when looking to replace.
He is going through MLC & is being self absorbed... why slam it shut?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway.... I am doing my best.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
How do you propose to work on being a healthy person?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
MLC because of the timing of his best friends death, his need to review his health & life situation, his desire to "LIVE NOW" and purchase happiness, his admitted confusion, & so much more... AND.... because he even thinks so now.
His Dad had a MLC too.
I have been working on being a healthy person... starting with self-value.
Last edited by makingmagic; 07/24/1408:22 PM.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
