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Quote:
J is a weasel. A complete weasel. I don't trust him one iota. He has his own thoughts about things whether they make sense or not. He is a planner and a schemer. I still think he is with OW so he has a babysitter and so her folks can give him money.


WH I get this, I really do. (my law suit still unresolved)

What about calling him on this OW taking care of the kids - a bit like with the dog? Let her try it for a week - I think he will be paying you to take them off her hands personally. However I do appreciate we do not want to make social experiments with our children!!

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That's the rub, isn't it? We don't want social experiments with our kids! That's what my W is doing. She keeps telling me how, even though she is ripping my D14's life apart, my D14 "will be fine". I can see that she has no idea how to make her own life work, who does she think she is to say that "D doesn't hurt the kids, it's how you act after" or "We all hurt our kids, they'll get over it" (especially since she is almost 48 years old and she STILL hasn't gotten over her own parents D!)?

We see how crazy the MLC is acting but they think that they know best not only for them selves, but for the people we care about most, our kids, and they won't listen to anything WE say as we are the "bad guys"! It really seems that a common theme with MLC is that we are somehow the "selfish" ones and that anything we want must be just to take something away from them! It doesn't matter how unselfish we were in our M. They seem to think we are scheming all the time to find ways to make THEM unhappy!

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Just thinking aloud...What if you asked J to pay for a counselor to help both kids digest all these changes? If you allow them to spend a week with OW, then J pays for the counseling to help them adjust to her heavy influence in your life. The kids would have a say then and someone, other than you, to vent with. And, if the counselor felt they were in jeopardy, they would have another advocate. I'd be careful to pick a decent child counselor though.

Wishing, you've gotten worked up about him "taking" the kids for more time before. I don't see that happening. Yes, this suckkks, and, yes, it's a nightmare, and, yes, you've really been through it and back and through it again...

I don't see him wanting your increasingly adolescent and angry son any more than he already does. Slow down, breathe and remember the ways God has taken care of you guys since this started. Remember when you were trapped in a house with J? Remember the insanity?

Things HAVE gotten better. You dealt with the other stuff and you will deal with this too.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Oh, and I'm under no illusions that J will agree to PAY for counseling...but, I can't imagine anyone arguing that this is an ideal situation for two children who have just endured what they've endured. I know you don't want to hear it, but you may need to get your attorney involved in order to set some boundaries with J while all this gets settled. He is testing you right now and WE ALL know J is a force to be reckoned with when he WANTS WHAT HE WANTS. Don't expect yourself to face it alone. At least call your attorney and ask for his opinion.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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S won't go to counseling unless he can go to the counselor he had before, and she is not in good shape. I've already had this conversation with him, and he doesn't want to go. All the counselors I have talked to about D say she is too young and won't understand and J and the courts will not make her go to counseling unless she has extreme behaviorial problems. But by then it's too late. J doesn't think there is any issue because she isn't a drug addict and she doesn't abuse the kids. That's right, she doesn't do anything.

I am not getting my attorney involved any longer. I owe him too much money and besides it's done and papers are signed. There is nothing anyone can or will do. J can do what he will during his time and I don't have to agree to it during my time.

Now that I have calmed down I can see J thinks he is just is trying to "do me a favor" and save me money and time. I don't think he is trying to get the kids more now, but just save himself some money. It's all about money with this clown.

I do need a way to deal with this anger and reflect off the madness of J. I wish I had Wonder Woman's bulletproof bracelets to deflect any zingers J and OW throw my way.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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So tonight instead of dragging myself to D's baseball game and participating in the three ring circus, I went out with my co-workers and had a fabulous time. I am not gonna lie. I feel really guilty about it. But when I kept thinking I should go to D's game I couldn't do it. I was having a really good time with friends and I go to EVERY game and event with bells on. Besides I was really emotionally battered. This morning my mom told me to get away from the madness and relax. And I did. My attitude has done a complete 180.

And when I finally did leave I picked up my phone (which I had left in the car for no interruptions) was blown up by J. Calls, texts, etc. I just sent him a quick reply that I had a work function that I had forgotten about.

I needed the break. Does that make me a bad mom??

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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NOPE. I'm glad you stepped away.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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No doesn't make you a bad mom.

Cracks me up that J blew up your phone.

Next time that happens, tell him you were busy having hot sweaty s e x with a talk dark handsome stranger wink

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A good mom who is taking care of herself as well Good for you

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Thanks guys.

S is on his way to the mission trip. He is very excited. I am a bit emotional but I know be will be fine. It's now girl time. D and I have been snuggling all morning.

S texted me first thing this morning and asked me to pick them up asap because OW's kids were driving him crazy. I was already on my way. Of course J called me two times this morning telling me that S packed a bunch if stuff from his house. Not. He got a flashlight and some spending money. I had to stop by the house where OW was snoring away because J didn't send D with her backpack. What an idiot.

While we were pulling into the driveway S mentioned that J told him he was frustrated with OW and the messes she makes in "his" house. I guess she starts all these projects and never follows through with them so there are half started, half finished projects all over the house. Lmao!!! I guess J is at his wits end about it.

Perhaps the bloom is starting to come off the rose a bit.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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