"mom", Sounds like your son is lonely for the human connection and is seeking you out to chat with. He also needs something...someone to help him w/some applications. May I ask...why can't he do his own applications? He's a big boy and he'll never learn how to do things, if "mom" continues to do them for him. I think it's funny that he doesn't want the gf involved. Yes...wth?
I think I would step back from call for help from your h and let him do the applications himself or if you feel bad about it, you can sit him down and be there as a mentor and allow him to do them under your watchful eye.
BTW, he does see you as "mom" because he knows that he can always rely on you to do things for him, just like a mother.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
The first time I'd ever heard him say was not his mom. It was during an argument about somewhere he was or something. Never before.
As far as his applications. He has been but not too well. They are complicated and time sensitive. He doesn't really ask just hints he could use help.
Yes, not sure why he can't/won't get her involved. I'm sure the long distance conversation. I love you, miss you no content conversation gets boring. I have heard from him its gone from 25 texts/ calls a day to a few. He must need more conversation with someone who can have more of a conversation and understand?? And then in the next breath talk about the divorce.....still on that roller coaster..
To answer the last question Yes, he has always relied on me to do everything. I don't know if you remember but somebody had made a comment about me doing and reminding him about things. He must get mad and think I'm nagging. I said he has never in 20 years said that. So I asked one day to see and he said "no"..
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
He is trying to get a firefighter job and its tough. That is why I do it. Plus I want him to get a ff job to make more money..that is my reason for doing it.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
I haven't been doing it for a couple months. He's been messing them up. I have selfish reasons for doing it.
He has been trying to have more contact with me and longer conversations prior to saying he's been messing up his apps. So I don't think he is doing that just so I'd help. He would have just asked. When I said why doesn't gf do it he said forget it I'll do it myself and then she doesn't need to get involved in that. He says they are still together so idk??
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
If you feel comfortable in assisting him w/the applications and have no expectations, then I see no reason to say no since you've been doing them for a while...but he's got to learn how to do them for himself at some point, i.e., especially if there comes a time that you officially end the marriage.
Sounds like the GF is just a convenience and he doesn't want her to know his business when it comes to his past employment activities, etc. Is he trying to get a private or Federal Government firefighting position?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
He is trying to get whichever he can. It is just one issue after another with it. He has applied for about 30 positions. In CA, there are very few jobs and lots of applicants He was hired and the city put on a freeze. Recently he went and passed his test but HR said he didn't do the online test reservation. He was on the list! They don't give confirmation for it....he went to take a test and got there 1/2 hr prior to test on the notice but it was an hour prior.. Goes on and on. This has been 4 years. That was the start of the mlc in my opinion. So yes, I do it and don't have any expectations.
As far as GF I guess. Its all superficial and nothing personal as far as I can see. I guess that is what he still tries to get from me??
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
He has commented that he tells her about testing or whatever he does but I guess doesn't fell she needs to help with the process. He has never been a deep talker so I'm sure he doesn't express much about himself with gf?? He must feel more comfortable talking to me because he talks to me if he hates me or not...
I need to keep my distance like I've done for the last month. He just always try to sneek back in?? Especially now that he is not talking to her 24/7...he never visits her she always comes here for a 12 hour quickly every month or so. So I am sure he needs the interaction.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Hi NAP, I think he doesn't want gf involved because he would have to be honest about everything in order to fill it out right. You know, who he "really' is, she just knows what he wants her to about him. Can't have the fantasy person he makes himself out to be get messed up with who he truly is! She might not like who he really is!
By the way, here in Texas, being 2 hours away isn't a long distance relationship! Takes me over an hour just to get to work in the AM! If they really wanted to see each other more 2 hours isn't gonna keep anyone apart. Maybe things with gf aren't what he makes them out to be??
I agree if they wanted to see each other they could or would. She has her kids every other weekend and that is when she tried to see him. But he tries to spend ad much time with our kids if not working. I think he likes it that way. He would like an EA only probably but she seems to push for more. From what I've read. He is not a sex driven man so he doesn't need it all the time. When he is stressed his sex drive is even lower. He definetly needs the emotional smoke blowing she gives. It seems to be not as exciting for him anymore.
I guess he wants to look like Mr. Wonderful to her I guess. The work history is a mystery. But I guess its TMI about him because all is superficial and roses. Either that I have always done all and he wants a different independent life. If so he better figure out how to do all.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
