It’s so easy to get bogged down in the details of our personal life, stuck focusing on our particular woes of the moment. It’s often helpful when we can get out in nature and allow our mind to focus on the bigger picture.
There is no picture bigger than the universe itself. Billions of galaxies, trillions of planets. Billions of light years wide. Does it go on forever? What is beyond it? How many worlds with life are out there? Unimaginable to us humans really, but extremely fascinating to ponder.
Yet the universe is not something “out there” or outside of us. We are part of it!
I took a day off of work this week and took my 14 year old nephew to the planetarium. We had a wonderful day together as we connected and learned more about the immensity of our universe. It also caused me to remind myself how insignificant we, and our problems, truly are in the Big Picture. We’re not even a speck in time and space! Yet we often allow ourselves to fret over some of the less than ideal details of our life, even the ones we have little or no control over. In the worst cases, we allow ourselves to get stuck, and we waste our time there. Time we could be putting to much better use.
This is why I feel it is so important for us to find our way to let go of our hurt and pain. Forgive. Search for and find our meaning and purpose. Hang out with family and friends who love us. Do things we love. Find our passion, create, give. Help others find their peace and meaning. Make our little part of the universe a better place.
This is a gradual and very personal process, and it takes time. Be patient with yourself but keep moving forward. Keep your focus on your goals, and don’t allow yourself to be distracted by any “noise” that attempts to derail you.
There is a you tube video titled “The Overview Effect” that explains how those who have seen the earth from space often have a profound change of perspective regarding mans place in the universe... and what is and isn’t important. They have gained a greater understanding of the Big Picture, and we can too. Check it out.
We are given a short time here in our universe, let’s all vow to make the most of it!
Last edited by ForeverYoung; 08/08/1403:01 PM.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Thanks for stopping by and offering your kind words, UR. It really means a lot to me. I hope all is going well in your world.
As mentioned previously, W is buried in her crazy busy period at work... same as every year at this time. But unlike the previous years, this year she seems much more at peace with it. More calm, less stressed. It's a good thing.
Today W and I went to "Veggie Fest" and met up with my two sisters. We walked the fair grounds together, enjoyed some good food, and watched a presentation by the extremely inspirational Karyn Calabrese. We also met up with my best buddy and his lady friend and her daughter. Good times.
On the ride home I asked W to scratch my head, (something she used to do often while I was driving) and she did. It was nice.
I know for some it's all about detaching and going dark, and in some situations that really is the best course of action. For us, building on the connection works best. It's kept W here all this time and the comfort between us continues to grow.
Bust On, you all!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Allow me to clarify this. There has been A LOT of giving W space during the past 2 and a half years. I like to think of it as a dance... that I allow her to lead.
If she is receptive, or reaches out, I am there. If she pulls back, or is not receptive, I go do my own thing. But the goal has always been to build the connection whenever possible.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
All 5 balls are going nice and steady over here in ForeverTown. No big changes.
I've taken on a renewed interest in reducing our spending, saving even more, and adjusting our investments in order to hasten the time to our retirement. Check out my hero, Mr Money Mustache, to learn how!
I told W we can live on my salary alone... now, if we wanted to. Even though W expressed the desire to finally quit her job once she finishes her big yearly project, (only a few weeks away) she has taken no steps or made any plans. I suspected this would be the case, and that's ok. Maybe she will stay and find a new acceptance and peace with it all.
She still compares herself to others at times, and feels shorted. (point #1 to avoid in her book, listed in the opening post of this thread!) Like her Bestie GF who is at some fancy hotel with her latest BF. "I can't even be a trophy wife like BFF"
What my brain says: Really? You mean BFF who is your age, lives by herself, was married for only one year in her life, has ended several relationships because the guys are never good enough, and is still dating? YOU"RE envious of THAT?
My actual words: You are a trophy wife.
W: I work harder than you, you have it easy. YOU'RE a trophy wife! (Bet none of the H's here have heard THAT one!)
I still catch her singing "I hate everything" (or everyone) on occasion, to the tune of Here Comes Santa Claus. (try it, it's fun!) This is nothing new, but she actually sounds a little happier while doing it as of late, if that makes any sense.
She sings happy songs too! And laughs.
We continue to do things together, meet with family, etc.
Still no signs of OM.
W continues to "chill out and warm up" once she's home for a bit after a stressful day at work... and who could blame her? She has a wonderful partner who has a nice dinner and coffee ready when she gets home.
Tell me what's new with you.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
W: I work harder than you, you have it easy. YOU'RE a trophy wife! (Bet none of the H's here have heard THAT one!)
Boy...that one is an odd thing to come out of her mouth. Why does she think you have it easy? Because you're home every evening cooking dinner??!
Because I like my job and it's not as stressful as hers. She puts in a lot of OT during the summer. Plus, as we all should be doing, I actually ENJOY every day!
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I'm curious to know if W is initiating touches with you?
No, but I'm gonna start again. I'll keep you updated.
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What's new with me is that I am starting a new job next week that will be 2x my previous salary. Sweet!
Sweet indeed, and good for you! Similar work or something new?
2x your salary means you can keep living as you are now, and invest the rest. Become financially independent in X years and retire early if you choose!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Funny thing about stress. It's self-induced B) Your job *could* be stressful. If you let it. Or it could be what it is - a way to earn a living. It's what you make it. But you know that already. She hasn't figured that out yet is all.
A trophy wife? Do you wear a pink tu-tu like Eric?
I like the tag line, FY. "She's still worth it."
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Funny thing about stress. It's self-induced B) Your job *could* be stressful. If you let it. Or it could be what it is - a way to earn a living. It's what you make it. But you know that already. She hasn't figured that out yet is all.
So true, AJ. W has been at her job for 25 years. Even prior to our crisis she was sometimes overstressed with it, and talked about quitting. I actually sense more acceptance as of late.
Today, W admitted to being depressed because she's been gaining weight. Yet she's been keeping up with her running three days a week, and does some weight training. Yay! I validate her concerns, and support her on her workouts. (and I still think she's HOT)
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A trophy wife? Do you wear a pink tu-tu like Eric?
Does he or doesn't he? Only his hairdresser knows for sure!
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I like the tag line, FY. "She's still worth it."
Thank you. If I didn't think it true, I wouldn't have been able to stand as long as I have. I do consider both of us fortunate to have each other. *kissy smilie*
Last edited by ForeverYoung; 08/31/1406:32 AM.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
