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watto14 Offline OP
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I had the boys yesterday while h was at work, I got to bring them to our new house, they loved it! The bunk beds were an absolute hit, I feel more comfortable in this house than my previous one, it feels more me smile

when h finished work he got all my work stuff from the place I had been renting space, I was truly thankful and I told him so, it wasn't something he had to do but yet took the time to help me out.

We've had three nights in a row of texting, just everyday stuff, at his initiative, which has been really nice, it's one of the tthings I miss.

last night I had a party for a friend's birthday at one of the local pubs, great night ,lots of laughs, dancing and good food, I went to the bar at one stage and turned around and there's the ow, I held it together and walked off, didn't acknowledge her at all, and I know she knows who I am...The joys of living in a small town.

keep my head held high and be me, the best version of me!

I am going to have a lazy me today, I get the boys back tomorrow so I am going to take full advantage of this day to finish unpacking, get the card making mojo started smile

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watto14 Offline OP
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I have the boys back with me for the next four days, it was great to pick them up and bring them 'home', great to a proper meal for us all(I've been living on frozen meals and take away for the past three days, with move etc)

I have clients booked in this week, and i'm thinking of doing a" Moving house/salon" special this week just to boost the coffers.

I've had a little bit of time to think about my sitch over the past couple of days, and I'm quietly optimistic at this point.

h is communicating more, whether it is to ask a generic question, or for help with the boys, we laugh a little more.

interesting thought, I ask the universe each morning what I would like to happen, and last week it was an intimate kiss from h. I went through the week, nothing happened, or so I thought.

last night I was telling h that I dropped my favourite bottle of perfume, and as I was telling him, I leant my head forward to the centre of his chest, he then did the double arm rub, and kissed the top of my head(that's the third time this week hes kissed the top of my head) now I know that doesn't sound very intimate in the traditional sense of the word, but I believe(and I know a lot of people who think the same) is it very personal.
it kind of makes me smile on the inside.

h has not mentioned ow again to his mother, and I certainly don't bring her up at all, the closest I came was yesterday when I noticed a bottle of brandy on h shelf, I asked him about it, and I could hear the lie forming before it even came out, I made light of it and changed the subject, he's not a brandy drinker, has always hated it. similarly when I went to pick up the boys this morning I noticed diet coke in the pantry(the kids were in it, I didn't snoop!)I just said diet coke? and he got quite defensive, so again i changed the subject, moved on- I know this doesn't sound like much, but that was huge for me, old me would have harped on about it until h was forced to either come up with a very convoluted story or he would have clammed up, or got completely exasperated.

i think h is starting to relax around me, I'm not holding out to hear much from him in the next couple of days as, except for family night on wedneday.

so much i want to write, but i think fatigue is kicking in, and i feel like i'm talking in circles.

any feedback is more than welcome and appreciated smile

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He's contacting, and still sounding like he cares. Maybe the ow, is on the decline.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
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I'm with Gg....Maybe things are waning.

And I love the thought of asking the universe for what you want. I'll have to do that!

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watto14 Offline OP
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I have a beautiful friend who has been with me throughout this whole journey and she was the one who started me on the universe journey, as you wake every morning, ask the universe what you want, for me it's small things, and you say it either out loud or in your head, and usually around five times. It's a bit like dbing, you have to look for the small signs...
Also giving thanks to the universe is a big thing too, which I am, I guess this is my spirituality, I don't have a religious belief, and I don't go to church, but I have faith and I always (even on my darkest days) have hope.

I think the ow is certainly exerting her presence in his life and I think it may be getting him a bit stressed, which works in my favor...she's behaving like I did when I was at my worst, telling him what he can and can't do, he may comply for a while but in the end he'll run, look where I am right now....

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That seems to be the way things go! You detach, they chase, the mask starts to slip....

I will have to start thinking about giving thanks to and making requests of the universe. I love it.

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watto14 Offline OP
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today has been a weird one, on one hand, I was busy all day with clients, which was great, and working from home again is awesome, I can get things done between clients and i'm enjoying my new home.

minimal communication with h today, all old house related or kids related, which isn't a bad thing, just felt more distance than the past few days, I know he's obviously spending time with the ow while he doesn't have the boys, and though I know it's a real thing, it still smarts, especially after the 'closeness' of last week.

i'm assuming this is the dance that happens when the ow is now out in the open so to speak. and my role now is to continue to be the best version of me.

and I guess that I need to detach a little more, in a friendly way, let him know the porch light is on, give him him the space to work this through, remember that he has his own part in this journey, and I have to continue with mine.

having said all that I would dearly love to kick her in the head, I know that's not very nice, and i'd never even acknowledge her presence, but man, just one smack, right in the kisser!!

i'm sure I've asked/said it before, but all this backward/forward stuff is normal isn't it, the wah lets the guard down alittle, panics, guard goes up(in my opinion) and no doubt pressure from the ow....sigh, keep on moving forward

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You're doing great watto. Keep the head held high and continue to enjoy your kids. I'm rooting for!!


M 35 W 31
D 10
Married 3 years
Together 11
Single since Nov 13
Moved out Dec 13
ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more'
OM confirmed Jun 14
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watto14 Offline OP
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thanks bashy, I think I'm doing ok, just harder some days than others, nights like tonight when there's nothing to do, the kids are in bed, the mind wanders, and I know I can't contact h because he'll be with ow.

I know I have to let their 'r' run its course, but geez, hurry up and implode already lol...

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I know those feelings. Alone at night. WAW with OM at weekends. It's tough but you're coping way better than me but I'm gonna try and take some inspiration from you.


M 35 W 31
D 10
Married 3 years
Together 11
Single since Nov 13
Moved out Dec 13
ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more'
OM confirmed Jun 14
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