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Hi Heather,
I don't have much to say about all the things that you are feeling now. But I will say you really seem to be spinning a lot more than you have been in a while! I think you need to take a step back and center yourself. Seems like the talks with your mom and sister really got you going. You have been doing SO WELL, sending out so many resumes, looking for different things that YOU can do to make things better. You have been doing so very well. Don't let old family stuff get in your way. Let it go and get back to what you've been doing. Your doing great!

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Matt, Thanks...I agree.

Mom + Sister + D20 Coming Home + Growing Financial Pressure = Spinning Heather

Centering.

I sent out three library applications/resumes to area libraries. I plan on sending two more...including one to our library...although I've had really bad luck in the past getting a job there.

Send out another 2-3 resumes/cover letters to various jobs.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Heather, the pressure is getting to you - breathe deeply and concentrate on keeping you side of the street clean.

You can do this. None of us wanted to be here, but we are all growing as human beings, in stature maturity and understanding of others

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I relate so much with how your mother and sister treat you.

Listen to gospel

And get ye to a meeting


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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Thanks BK. I have a tab open with a meeting schedule. :-)

I applied to Walmart, Kohl's and this other job...The Walmart application allowed me to apply to about 6 different locations. I chose to avoid our hometown. That may be my shame talking...but, I don't care. My self-esteem has taken plenty of hits. I will drive a bit for Wal-mart.

It made me feel bettter...I guess I feel like I'm hitting all the options now. I, actually, wouldn't mind a job like Wal-Mart temporarily. I just don't want to be forced to run into everyone in town. A full page ad in the paper wouldn't reach as many people as working at Walmart.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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There's an A.A. meeting nearby at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow morning. It's open. I may go. I didn't go to church today and I felt a difference.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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I'm also thinking meetings may be the ticket with D20.

She is like a dry drunk. When she attends A.A., life is good...she keeps that ego in check and watches her behavior. She doesn't like Al-Anon and I get why. She fits in A.A.

Last summer, she made me laugh. She demanded that Smokey attend four meetings in order to participate in taking her to college. Of course, he didn't. He told her, "I tried it and I don't fit there."

Her response, "Oh. You FIT alright. You fit just fine. You just don't WANT to FIT."

I think she would be willing to go to A.A., especially if I make the effort to attend myself. I know she wouldn't turn down a ride to a meeting. I'm tempted to suggest that she take a time out from school for a semester or two and we get things settled here--meaning--I get a job, she helps with D11, goes to meetings, sees a counselor...we make changes and maybe move. Regroup and she goes back to school in Spring or a year from now.

It feels like the right thing. I think she needs to see me and make some necessary changes with ME helping her as a Guide. That's the rub, though, I NEED TO CONTINUE PAVING THE WAY. I think she NEEDS THIS FROM ME.

Last edited by LoisB; 07/20/14 11:56 PM.

"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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BeBe Winans sang this at Whitney Houston's funeral. It spoke to me today.

Quote:
"Tomorrow"

Jesus said
"Here I stand, won't you please let me in?"
And you said
"I will tomorrow"

Jesus said
"I am he who supplies all your needs"
And you said
"I know, but tomorrow, ooh, tomorrow, ill give my life
tomorrow, I thought about today, but it's so much easier to say"

Tomorrow, who promised you tomorrow,
better choose the lord today, for
tomorrow very well might be too late.

Jesus said
"Here I stand, won't you please take my hand?"
And you said
"I will tomorrow"

Jesus said
"I am he who supplies all your needs"
And you said
"I know, but tomorrow, ooh, tomorrow, ill give my life
tomorrow, I thought about today oooohh,
but it's so much easier to say"

Tomorrow, who promised you tomorrow,
better choose the lord today, for
tomorrow very well might be too late.

And who said tomorrow would ever come for you
still you laugh and play and continue on to say
"tomorrow"
forget about tomorrow won't you give
your life today oohh
please don't just turn and walk away
tomorrow, tomorrow is not promised
don't let this moment slip away
your tomorrow could very well begin today


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Heather,

You are the mother and the balance of wisdom is on you. Your D20 cannot take that away from you and she's full of entitlement. I think it is time for you put your foot down and say, "This is the new normal. Your criticisms and put-downs will not be tolerated. It is downright disrespectful. All of that stops right now."

Then step away and don't allow D20 to suck back into her drama. She feeds off of drama and pushes your buttons to get her fill of it. Some people just thrive on drama and I think your D20 is one of them.

Then step back and allow D20 to figure out her life. I mean...she's an adult now. Time for her to learn a bit about life.

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What a beautiful quote.

Whitney Houston is such a good lesson to learn from.

She was given so many gifts, a voice, beauty, fame, fortune, a loveing extended family (like Dionne Warwick not bobby) but she choose to give that up and kill herself with drugs and alcohol. Maybe tomorrow I'm sure she thought many many times


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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