Picked up a gym membership on Tuesday. Went Wednesday and it was the first time in a while I haven't had this crap on my mind. Really need to get going on the GAL. I'm trying but I'm tied to my kids all day and most evenings plus I have few friends. Trying to join an adult soccer league so I can play AND exercise AND make new friends, but it's a slow go right now. The gym will be nice, free childcare while I workout and they have a sweet waterpark so the kids can play after I workout. Get fit and GAL all at once. Win.
"Don't give up, don't ever give up" ~ Jim Valvano
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
Things are such a mess. My mistakes from June are blowing up in my face left and right. Not fun. Trying to remain calm, validate, and GAL. Hard, I can't ever get together with friends. Working out has been good tho.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
Absolutely nothing I do is the right thing. If I'm home, she's glaring or swearing at me, when I go away and do something else, she "has to do all the parenting." But she wouldn't let me take them w/ me. Hating my life right now.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
It's really hard, she wants me to move out, but I can't move out. I need to stay because I'm not ready to leave the kids and I've got to try to protect my legal interests. Detaching is ridiculously hard to do right now because I don't have any freedom. I can mentally detach...I know I have no control how she acts and when/if she accepts my apologies and sees any changes. I can accept that if she is really done then I have to move on. I just can't show her any real detachment because I'm stuck and she's pursuing me w/ all of her anger.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
I quit. She's so angry. I will work on being the best me I can be. If she turns around and wants to try later on, I guess I'll be open to the idea. But I'm not interested in saving this. I just want to get it over with. I need to get her to agree to mediation and get 50/50 custody.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
The world keeps throwing my June mistakes in her face. So she just gets madder and madder. And madder. And madder. And she's already the world's least forgiving person.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
Even if she files, you still have time. Even if you get a D, you still have time. Keep working on yourself, and it your W will notice. It may or may not save your M, but at the end of the day, you will be a better person for your next relationship.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
I know that. I try to focus on that. I'm in panic mode and can't get my crap straight. I had a friend offer me to come stay w/ them for a bit, but I can't just "move out." My hope is that I can get my W to crash w/ a friend some so maybe we can trade off nights in the house...she needs space to process, and I agree. But I can't just move out and away from my kids, nor can I give up rights to my house or kids from a legal standpoint.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
Yea, you def do not want to leave the house, but it does not look like she will leave either. And I know it is extremely hard to detach while you are in the same house. I had to S to get my sanity back. Take a short vacation to your friends place, and suggest she does the same at some point. You need to give eachother space somehow.
Keep posting, and more importantly, keep your cool the best you can!
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
I'm trying to keep my cool. She corners me and then I react. It gets loud sometimes. I'm hoping she will agree to trade off nights in the house. I can't hurt anything to do that at this point...and it might be easier on the kids to be in their home every night for now. It would also be easier to GAL if I'm not under the same roof as her all the time.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
