"Speak Softly" The MLC Version

[GoatGal]

I'm off the rails here----

I just noticed what the other charges he's trying to hide from me.

Canadian Pharmacy: plus a foreign transaction fee.

The right amount for generic Viagra!

Three ads for Craigslist.
In the past, he's posted stuff for work, but I have not been checking to see if there are reimbursements.

I hope he's not trying to have anonymous hookups.

Does he really think he's going to meet someone on one of these sites and actually get to USE that Viagra?

(Assuming that's what it is. You need a prescription, but if he had that, why not just fill that locally?) Who knows what it is... but I'm just filling in the blanks here.

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OK---THIS TRAIN HAS JUMPED THE TRACKS!!!!!

I AM MIND-READING AND PROJECTING ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!


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Here's what I DO know.

He is lonely. He has problems. He is not happy. I say "have a good evening" and he says... "Ugh... yeah. Right."


When he can, he chooses to be HERE, where I live, where our kids are.

If he was really into the dating scene, he'd be off chasing some tail on Friday and Saturday nights.

So I'm not going to get my knickers in any more of a twist over it.

He's pathetic, screwed up... and honestly?
I'm the best he'll ever have.

Count on THAT.




---GGG

[Wonka]

GGG,

Let's get back to Earth now and put on your lab coat.

The amoeba is trying to bust out of the petri dish and wants to explore a bit further out. Can't you just see how he's running in circles and acting "abnormally" to use science parlance? The amoeba isn't waving at you nor paying you any attention. Too busy trying to bust out of the petri dish.

[artsy]

GGG,
I've joined the party over here, too.

I have the exact same question about reaching out after going dark (I just went dark/NC on Sunday, but I'm wanting it to last forever and a day... What's appropriate?? Who knows!)

You're handling thing extremely well! Sorry your H is being gross.

[GoatGal]

Well, I'm calming down.

I think it's a good thing that he sees what's REALLY out there.

And I guess I should be grateful for small things. Like that he's on a 50+ site!

Even though there he says he likes women with "daddy issues" (since when can a seven year old be a "daddy"??? 50+ women and he's "57". )

I guess he's looking for someone much like his former OW.
Who was molested as a child and is working it out with older men (him--more than 30 years older) in a very unhealthy ways.
Even HE said how awful that was and how he took advantage of her.
Guess he forgot about exploiting people's problems for his own pleasure.
Guess he's now romanticizing that R again, even though it brought us to where we are.
The fact that he says he actually WANTS that is disgusting...

Anyhow. I am calmer... just losing hope of him ever being anything like a decent, trustworthy person ever again.

And he must think I'm stupid, that I wouldn't see the damn charges!
He probably doesn't know I have access to the online statement. I'll keep that on the QT...

What I do know is that there are no hotel charges, no fancy dinners, no fancy gifts. The fact that he's using our joint card and I can see this leads me to believe he's in la-la land.

If I wanted to cheat, I'd get a secret credit card. Then again, I'm in my right mind...

Back to what I do know. (Yes, I'm talking myself down here from this snooping episode.
DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO!!!!!)

It's just a profile, not a Relationship. Who knows if he met anyone or chatted... (but now I think I know what he was doing the other night when he hid his phone mid-chat!)

He should get out there and see what's available.
Who is compatible with him on so many things, who is cute and sweet and funny, loves all the animals, has the same interests.... who is kind, and sexy, and really quite lovable.

That would be ME. I think he'll see the grass is not greener.

But seriously. Gross.

My plan?

Just keep my cool, throw him a little bone, maybe toss him a little sexy... let him see a bit more of what he's been missing:
The coolest, smartest, sweetest chick he's ever gonna get!


---GGG

[GoatGal]

Oh--- and one last thing. (OK, maybe not, I'm still processing...)
I have had my interest piqued by those same "OurTime" ads, showing happy loving 50+ couples.

It's just that I don't think that either of us is in any position to start "dating".

But then again, I'm in my right mind!
------------------------------------

It's interesting that he *says* he's looking for a "serious relationship".
(With his wife living upstairs?????)

This is the same man who told me a few months ago that he "prefers shallow relationships and porn" because he's "not good one on one".
That he is "broken" and can't be fixed.

Now he *seems* to think that maybe he CAN be in a real R?
Or at least he WANTS to to have one.
There was an option on the dating site to select different things, like:
"any type of relationship/casual relationship" yet he picked "serious".

Hmmmmmmmm.......


So I am taking this as a good sign.
(Viagra, lies, and Oral sex descriptions not withstanding.)

This is man who, deep down, WANTS to have a real loving relationship, WANTS to feel close to someone, WANTS to be romantic.

As he says "With the 'right' person..."

Um....hello, H ????

Aren't you married to someone wonderful?????

I am definitely "serious relationship" material!!!


---GGG

PS: He joined the site within the last few days, I think over the weekend. I wonder if he thinks I'm moving away (I might if D is final) and he really doesn't want to be alone after all his statements to the contrary.

PPS: Any one he meets who discovers what his real age/situation are will run for the hills, unless they're skanks. In which case, he'd run for the hills! He prefers the "wholesome" type.

[GoatGal]

And job... sorry.... when you said, "don't reach out now", did you mean I should continue to stay dark, and not throw him a bone in terms of opening up a little on the communication?

I think that's what you meant.

---GGG

PS: EVERYTHING he said on his dating profile was all about HIMSELF. The only thing he said about the woman he was looking for was about how HE liked to be sexual. When they asked what kind of woman are you looking for, he simply said, "Someone who is interested in the above. ME."

That's sad....I think it's weird. It's like he not looking for a specific type of person, or certain qualities or personality traits---it's just ALL ABOUT HIM and what HE LIKES.

You know, "it doesn't matter who you are, as long as you can make ME feel good." That's really how it reads. How MLC is THAT????

That's a part of H that is all too familiar.

[Georgiabelle]

Good googly GG! I was just catching up on your thread and I'm sorry that your h has gone off the rails. Yes, your h sounds lonely and desperate. I can relate to how you feel. My h never had to do online dating because he had an epic Twitter breakdown and a snapchat friend offered to rescue him and *want* him the way he needed to be wanted. Voila! Meet OW:)

Yes, your h sounds pathetic and sad and hopefully you can laugh at the lunacy. I I know it can hurt, but you just have to leave him alone. Let him be. Trust the vets. You have such a great sense of humor.

Job's story about her xh saying she loved the cat made me laugh outloud. My h said the same thing about me with the dog. Some of this stuff is crazy!!!

Hang in there GG.

[GoatGal]

OK gross.

He is actively pursuing this!


I just logged back on, curious as to if it's really 50+.

He ALREADY SENT MY FAKE PROFILE A MESSAGE.


Ugh..

I see the come on, though. You sign up for free, then if you want to actually HEAR from these people, you have to pay.

Well, I'm not going that far.

But it just goes to show you, he just got back to his place and he's already trolling on here for dates.

Now I really AM going to PUKE!

---GGG

[AJM]

If I remember correctly, there's a list somewhere in the archives of the craziest sh*t MLCr's say. It truly can be hilarious, once you get past the sadness of it all.

The problem is that we can see the end game. We see how these things turn out for the person they were.

But for the person they are, it may not be how things are for them. The mirror image idea is very appropriate. They become the opposite and seek out the opposite of us. Often with similarities to their family of origin in some ways. Almost as if they are trying to re-live the past through the OW/OM and maybe make it right?

I dunno. It's strange and totally opposite of what they were when we knew them. I recall my ex saying (before she left) she is not the same person she was. As if she knew she was different.

How they handle that different "them" varies from person to person. But honestly, they do what they do to survive.

Try not to snoop. I know it's tempting, but it's not a good idea in the end.

What matters is what you do and what he eventually becomes. Everything else is just filler.

AJ

[LoisB]

GGG, step away from the train wreck. You got the information, now save yourself.