And it he was there, it will prove the hypothesis: Assuming he really "needs help", if I stop nagging him to do it, he will eventually seek it out on his own, when HE is ready.
---GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
Your interests dovetail so nicely! "History, woman authors, writing, and anything British"!!!
So that would be like Doris Lessing and the Bronte sisters having a "Jolly Good" Tea Time at old Cambridge, passionately discussing the Napoleonic Wars while enjoying clotted cream and crumpets? (Maybe they drove there in their Aston Martin?) You can spend a lifetime delving into those and never repeat.
Can you be more specific? Which authors? What era of history? British as in "The Beatles" or as in Stonehenge?
Anyhow. You asked about my interests, so here goes: (You may be sorry you asked!)
1. Animals/Nature/Wild Birds/Wildlife/Insects/Biology/Veterinary Medicine/Animal Behavior/Ethology (particularly avian, equine, canine behavior) Anything to do with Horses, Donkeys, Mules, riding, competitions, used to be rodeo stuff. (Western riding, not English. Sorry! ) Microbiology/Parasitology/Animal Rescue/Dog Training-Competition/Bench Shows/Various dog breeds/Humane-Slaughterhouse issues/Breed Awareness/Husbandry/Reptiles/Amphibians/Aquatic Mammals.
2. Humans: Psychology/Human Behavior/Social Behavior/Psychiatry/Human Medicine/LGBT issues and awareness/Autistic Spectrum Disorders/ Body Language/Communication/Health/Fitness/Nutrition/DBing!
3. Design: Home Exterior/Interior/Landscape/Garden/Environmental/ Architecture/Building code/construction
4. Music: Writing/Performing/Guitar/Vocals/Piano/Ukulele/Traditional Jazz and Blues (Pre 1945) Vintage instruments, vintage artists/DJing
5. Dance: Swing dancing/Blues/Balboa/Lindy Hop---Performing, teaching, competing, social dancing. Choreography. Also Modern Dance, Jazz Dance, contemporary and ballet. NOT BALLROOM. (Too many "rules": see below) Fitness/Bodybuilding
6. BOOKS!: Indiscriminate and voracious reader. From books on well water safety to The Magic Mountain, and Anne Sexton. (Now Audiobooks too! In the car!!!) No Kindle for me. I'm old school.
7. Food and Wine: I was in "the biz" for years and picked up a lot of "chef" stuff, was a sommelier, traveled around the world for a wine importing company... But I'm not a wine/food snob. I like my Doritos as much as the next gal! I just know the good stuff when I come upon it. I am a very competent cook, but I hate following recipes. I just go the creative route. Don't much "like" cooking though, and I dislike baking. (Too easy to screw up if you don't follow instructions)
8. Misc: Old Cars (Ramblers, Bug Eyed-Sprites, MGBs, Muscle Cars) Cycling Travel MAPS!!! GRAPH PAPER! TO-DO LISTS! The ACTs of Goal Setting/Planning/Coordinating. (Events, life, etc. )
9. Art: Creating more than "appreciating". 3-D Sculpture, mostly ceramic, pottery, also drawing. NOT PAINTING.
10: The Bizarre, Odd, and Freaky: I was a Zombie fan back when it wasn't cool. I had piercings before anyone knew what they were. The Mutter Museum, Ripley's Believe It or Not, I love that stuff. The stranger, the better. Parasites! Life is AMAZING!
OTHER LIKES: The smell of goat cheese and other stinky cheeses, pungent herbs, cilantro, skunk, and gasoline. (In mild doses). The way the sky changes when you're near a large body of water. Ice cream and soup with "Things In It". Textural Variety. Tapioca. Bacon. Being Alone Being with people who enjoy the same things I do
Things I Dislike: Being a spectator instead of participant. Sitting and listening to music. I either want to dance/sing/or play. That "falling" feeling: Elevators, Rollercoasters, Airplanes. Things that fall and go boom. (No fear of flying, just fear of crashing. I don't want to be squished.) Lying on the beach. Sitting around at a BBQ Pot Lucks Discussion about people I don't know, will never know, and their boring activities. (So-and-so's Son-In-Law's brother went into the Navy...Yes... and???? I'd rather chew off my own foot.) Ice Cream Socials. Unless there are a lot of things to put on the ice cream, then it's GRABBIT and GO! "Parties" with no dancing, no music, and no alcohol where everyone just sits around in a circle. (Just shoot me!) Tanning. Cleaning. Waiting. Waking Up. Boogers and Snot (Talk about ruining a good library book experience!) Used Band-Aids BORING STUFF!!!!! Chaotic environments Too many conversations at once Anything repetitive which does not engage me/Assembly-line activity Buzzing lights, too much visual stuff crammed together. Air blowing on my neck/head. Certain high/low frequency sounds. Very distracting. Abrupt changes in barometric pressure. Clothes that don't feel right, tags, earrings hanging down, hair hanging down. Light tickle-y stroking. I am not ticklish but I find tentative-ness to be irritating, in every way. Getting my hair and nails done. I feel like a prisoner. Too much time in a group. It's exhausting. Unless we're a BAND, then it's GREAT! (See above) Team sports, pretty universally. I don't want to watch other people do this, I wouldn't even do it myself if I COULD catch and throw something somewhere. Too many "rules" for things. I'd rather find something else where I can be more expressive. Listening to people talk about stupid meaningless things i.e.: Small Talk. When people are vague and don't say what they mean, or when they lie, or when they do mean things to others and don't seem to care. People who refuse to learn, to improve, who believe what they believe even though there is a ton of information to contradict it.
I believe opinions should change when new, accurate information is presented which challenges any strongly held belief.
Illogic!!!
(And long sequences of information are extremely difficult for me. Verbal directions, step-by-step instructions. Unless I can make these into a visual string, there is no hope of ever remembering anything after step three without a tremendous amount of repetition.)
NOTES: As a girl, my crush was "Mr. Spock" on Star Trek. (Leonard Nimoy) This probably says a lot about me. Second to Mr. Spock was BATMAN!!!! (The 1960's Batman, that is! rayzzz, take note!)
I know just about everything about everything that interests me, and very little about the rest, except what I need to know to be a good, responsible human. (So, politics, finances, etc. only on an "as needed" basis.) There's probably more but I can't think of anything now.
In a nutshell, I'm smart in such a stupid way. I am a fund of sh*t, information that has very little ability to make me rich. But it does make life interesting. There is SO much I don't understand about people, so I'm always learning.
Oh. And I've never been interested in money. Just freedom..
And the quality I value most is KINDNESS. Both in myself and in others. If people are kind and their hearts are in the right place, that goes a very long way with me.
Which it's so hard to feel good about ever R with my H these days.
He has shown he is NOT the kind person I always believed he was. At least he isn't any more.
That's sad...
----GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
My theory postulates that Amoeba "H" (or maybe he's a Paramecium?) will move in the Petri dish in the following ways:
He will move away from unpleasant/painful stimuli. He will move toward areas where conditions are favorable/pleasant.
Next up: "It's ALL Dog Training!"
*Timing is Everything!
*Catch Them Doing Something Good!
*Reward the Positive/Ignore the Negative!
*Focus on the Outcome You Want!
*Praise, Praise, Praise Again!
*Reward them with Treats THEY Value!
*Repetition Builds Confidence!
*Always End on a Positive Note!
*Calm, Assertive Voice and Demeanor!
Sounds easy enough!
---GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
Oh. And I've never been interested in money. Just freedom..
And the quality I value most is KINDNESS. Both in myself and in others. If people are kind and their hearts are in the right place, that goes a very long way with me.
Which it's so hard to feel good about ever R with my H these days.
He has shown he is NOT the kind person I always believed he was. At least he isn't any more.
That's sad...
Me too. Ditto on all of the above.
CARS!!! You like CARS?!! ME TOO!!
My dad loves vintage cars and it's a favorite memory of mine, working on cars with him. We worked on a Lotus and a 67 Healey 3000. We looked around for a muscle car before his MLC took hold and he left. We looked for a Chevelle and a Goat. Never got one, but I will always remember standing in some stranger's garage and listening to the rumble of the Malibu SS. I love the power.
Smokey and I bought a 66 Lemans, but Smokey kept it for himself. I, then, bought a beat up 73 Mustang Mach 1 but never had the income to fix it up. :-( Still a dream.
Last edited by LoisB; 07/11/1410:16 PM.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
1. He showed up in work clothes, therefore, he DID go to work today. (He would never wear those clothes otherwise.)
2. There was no evidence of venipuncture, (band-aid/poke hole/bruise) So no blood draw?
3. He was two hours later than he had predicted, kept me posted all afternoon, so apparently this "appointment" took a lot longer than he'd anticipated.
The sexual behavior clinic I mentioned does extremely thorough intakes/evaluations, and it could well take HOURS. Physical/sexual history, medical...
It is a program he's looked at before because he'd let that slip at one point. So I know he knows he has a "problem" and I know he's thought about going in the past.
4. It took him well over an hour to drive here, so this appointment was closer to work than home. (Apartment searching would be somewhere in between for logistics, his lawyer is only 15 minutes away. When he called, he slipped and implied he was close to work. The SB clinic is further from here than work is for him.)
5. He did not require a driver for the appointment, so it wasn't a procedure that required sedation or anything major.
6. He has been very tight-lipped about this event. Yet he tells me about the dentist, meetings, late evenings at work.
7. He rescheduled his entire day to accommodate this appointment on short notice. He was originally scheduled to work later tonight, until Wednesday morning when he emailed me about this mystery "appointment". Maybe there was a cancellation? He'd already missed work for the dentist, doubtful that he'd schedule something non-urgent two days later.
So I am hopeful that he's doing something positive for himself. That would be a very good sign for his well-being.
I deliberately didn't see him tonight; even if he wanted to tell me something, I'm not ready to hear it.
Better to give him time and space to mull it all over, whatever it is.
If/when he's ready, he'll tell me about it. Or not.
In the meantime---very interesting.! And no, I'm not mind-reading. I'm documenting observable behavior and POSTULATING a theory.
(And this is me, scarfing up every little cookie crumb of HOPE that's on the table. Guess my sweet tooth isn't totally gone after all. )
---GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
And my dad had a Malibu SS, silver, red leather interior, ragtop!
It was HIS MLC car!!!
I love that sexy rumble too... kind of gets into your bones.
And I should have included Jane Austen at the ladies' tea. She's more than welcome.
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
I love everything about this thread but I think my favorite is "It's all dog training"!!!
So you have an amoeba that responds to dog training? Think there is a whistle in MLC frequency? If you find one I need to borrow it please!
Welcome to the twilight zone, alien abduction, repeat adolescence forum- lots of great advice over here =)
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
I had this picture of me wearing a lab coat, clipboard in hard, bending over to whistle at this Amoeba under the microscope in order to train it.
I have a few dog whistles around somewhere. I'll dig them out and try them on H, then I'll post the results.
I am not optimistic however. While he was cheating on me, he started doing this weird thing where it seemed he'd gone deaf.
He just wouldn't respond... I pushed him to get his hearing checked.
Later I realized that he WOULD respond, but only if asked a direct question.
(No, that's not passive-aggressive AT ALL.)
Anyway, after "discovery" he went for a whole bunch of tests. One thing they found is that his hearing in the higher ranges is shot. So, he can't hear a dog whistle, that's for sure.
But he certainly could hear my voice. He just chose to ignore me!
---GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
