one day at a time

[Ggrass]

I really can see why you would prefer target!

That's a no brainier! He's really got no clue what he's done has he?

Chants jerry jerry, twin, twin, twin. Does a dance you stand up for you and the bubbies.

[Starsky309]

OK, he's now asked you (for sex) three times.

Next time, I would say this to you:

"Please don't ask me that again. I'm really trying not to be hurtful, but the truth is that with the things you've done, I'm simply not attracted to you anymore."


Starsky

[kml]

Or:

"H, in order for us to have sex, you would have to move out of the house, attend counseling consistently for 6 months, give me total transparency on your phone and email etc to prove you aren't cheating, etc. Once you've done THAT and shown true remorse and a genuine desire to change, I'll consider it".

Sad, though, since we all know your H isn't capable. Still, that's what a TRULY remorseful spouse would do; don't settle for less!

[Starsky309]

That's good, too!

I just like to get little "truth darts" in from time to time (because generally, you can't teach a wayard but you CAN get in an occasional truth dart). And it's good to let them know that their destructive behavior has made them UNATTRACTIVE to you. I just think they need to hear it.


Starsky

[figgeroni]

you could also let him know that since he is having sex with one OW, odds are there are more than one and you would prefer to be alive with the kids rather than dead from an STD and since whatever he tells you will most likely be a lie, you are left with 2 options....a pity F*** for someone you find physically repulsive and obtaining a possibly life threatening STD OR>>>>>>> a trip to target....

hmmmmmmmmmmm

[Starsky309]

LMAO!!!! Good one, figg!!!

[Maybell]

Oh, figgeroni, are you that good on the fly, too?

[twinmom]

You guys are awesome !!!!!! You have me laughing like crazy. Actually when I was blowing up at him the other night I told him that just looking at him makes me angry I couldn't even imagine how furious I would be if I tried to be intimate with him.

And of course he didn't leave........

I am soooooooo tired right now but I just couldn't be around H so I told him I was going to the gym. (Already ran 3miles today) I am sitting in the parking lot just catching up on email/internet stuff. Will splash some water on my head and go home in about an hour or so.

So what's everyone's opinion on me just being downright cold/distant/almost mean to him instead of the "business like" or nice neighbor attitude DB usually teaches?

[Maybell]

You don't actually want him back, do you???

So DBing is strictly for you now.

You need him out of your house. He is clearly incredibly thick. I'm no vet, but do what you've gotta do to get him out. We'll be over here applauding. (And watching for more of figgeroni's great zingers...)

[Train]

Yep. Tell us, twin: what do you want right now?

Being warm, friendly and neighbor-like is for people who are trying to make positive changes in their own lives and perspective, yes, but it's also to re-attract their spouses and get their Ms back on track. I'm not saying you should resort to being nasty, but why WOULDN'T you be distant toward your H right now?

It's gonna be hard to continue saying "get out of the house and my life, you freaking selfish turd" in a warm way, with a smile on your face, right?

So what is your ultimate goal? Still to get him to leave?