Just back from the first week of my unplugged holiday with the kids. Amazing time. Great to spend each and every day with them, and explore and create new experiences. Looking forward to this week as well. Of course, I had to come back into civilization for awhile, and this is when things got a bit bad.
While I was away, I could receive texts, but not send. Of course, not one came from my W to ask about the kids. She sent generic emails before they left to each child incase we had internet access. We didn't. I had a few questions from the kids about their Mom, but that was it.
Came back today, she came to the house to see them for a bit. I went out. Came back, she brought the kids back, broke down, said I'm controlling what she does because we have a flexible schedule right now. Called me controlling, dismissive and freaked out, said I was treating her like a babysitter. I had to resist suggesting that her current level of involvement is actually similar, and complimenting her on her analogy. Didn't think that would do any good.
Essentially, she's frustrated as her time is coming to an end where she is not working full time. She won't be able to realistically maintain any kind of R with the OM once she starts work, and the kids start activities. Of course this Is all mind reading, but she texted me all kinds of crap about her being allowed to have a life without me knowing what she is doing. I said I don't care what she's doing, and my focus is on spending as much time as possible with the kids. Especially on holidays.
I'm taking them away again for the rest of this week, until the weekend. Don't really feel like much has changed with her. Of course myself, I'm even more detached, which is good. Can't complain about that.
How wonderful to read that you had a great time with the kiddos! A change in scenery does one wonders for PMA. Came back, she brought the kids back, broke down, said I'm controlling what she does because we have a flexible schedule right now. Called me controlling, dismissive and freaked out, said I was treating her like a babysitter. I had to resist suggesting that her current level of involvement is actually similar, and complimenting her on her analogy. Didn't think that would do any good.
Still feeling entitled. She expected you to roll over so she can do whatever she wanted to do at any time. No so fast, dear. I notice that when the LBS puts a boundary on no OM/OW, spew ensues from the WAS calling them "controlling." So funny.
Good job on STFU, Dev!
Keep those boundaries in place. She's not liking it one bit at all. Too bad.
Enjoy your week with the kiddos...AGAIN. Cannot ever get enough of them, eh.
Still feeling entitled. She expected you to roll over so she can do whatever she wanted to do at any time. No so fast, dear. I notice that when the LBS puts a boundary on no OM/OW, spew ensues from the WAS calling them "controlling." So funny.
Dev ... just spent .. who knows how long reading this entire thread. Hats off to you and how you have handled key situations, some I plan to steal and apply to my own sitch ... hang in there... and make room for another fan.
Thanks for checking it out. Hopefully you get some different results than me. It takes time, and I'm not sure what will happen here in the end. Just keep working on yourself and keep on truckin. Going to head over and read your sitch now.
Yeah I can see the logic in that ... I do not see my sitch turning around for some time, I have made alot of progress on me, this place in a way validated the core things I felt, but has alos through the pain and suffering of so many has also shown me the do's and dont's that I was so guilty of earlier. All I can do is change me, if she reconsiders so be it .. if not I will hope to be a better person for it
Hi Dev. Looks like your break was better for you than for W. For sure it was good for the kids. Keep up the great work.
I really hope your W starts to see the light. When she does, hopefully it's not too late for you two to rebuild a new M. Patience and time will tell.
I find it amazing, how long this whole process takes.
M: 59 W: 53 M: 9 yrs T: 14 yrs No kids together but D30(hers), S27, S24, D21(all 3 mine) W moved out 11/18/2013 D-Day 12/14/2013 W moved back home 12/1/2014
Break was very good for me. Just to get away and not have internet and focus on my kids was the best. First night they aren't with me in 8. Miss them incredibly. It's why I keep the battle going. Why would I settle? My W is so far gone now, but I know how is still feel. I'm realizing that really, no matter what, I can only do so much. Ultimately, I can build a pathway towards reconciliation, but if she choses to not even go down that path, that's on her. Patience and a long battle indeed. She told me to get my financials together and give them to her lawyer......I'll get right on that not.......
