Train, roll on ...

[twinmom]

saying a prayer for your family! So glad everyone is ok

[Ss06]

thinking of you, train. so, so, so much.

i am inspired and impressed by your turning toward your husband during this chaotic time. what a great opportunity to put into practice all you've hoped to present. you are facing A LOT but your ability to empathize and jump into the puddle with your H and daughter really says volumes about YOU.

All that work is paying off. You're doing it. Seriously. I am so proud and honored to read your story, as hard as it is right now. You're doing everything right even though I KNOW you disagree with me, you really, really are.

Honor yourself. Honor what you've been through and know that it has prepared you for this. All of this.

Sending you strength and light.

[Train]

Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts and words of support and encouragement.

I'm feeling a little like Humpty Dumpty. Physically, I'm doing okay. But I'm mentally beat to he!l.

H and I were able to go out this weekend and have a fine time, despite the circumstances. We went together (along with D18) last night to baby-daddy's house (after a day-trip to the mountains) to confront him and tell his parents about the pregnancy, after he failed to show up here by a deadline we imposed. I'm just so thankful for H's support and backbone right now.

The drama has definitely begun. But I'm trying to make good decisions in spite of it to help build a solid foundation for my DD. Lord knows I have had enough experience with *that* in my life.

Thank you all, again. Your words truly uplifted me.

And Starsky, I'm going to check out those lyrics.

You all are the best.

[HopefulStill]

Hi Train,

Wow. Been away for a while and I had to catch up; you've had a tough go lately!

First of all, I'm glad that you and your H are ok after the accident. It's horrible and scary, but rest assured that a year from now it will be a distant memory. Just make sure to take no medical shortcuts in getting yourselves back to 100%.

I'm sorry to hear about your D :-(. The saddest part is that the father isn't taking any responsibility. I wish that I had some sage advice, but I have no experience here. I'm sure that after what you and your H have survived together that you will be very supportive of your D and will steer her right.

In regards to your H and his unhappiness at work, I'm glad that with everything else going on that you are taking this seriously. While women tend to feel depression if their relationships aren't going well, most men tend to get depressed when their work isn't satisfying for them. Now that he knows that you will back him in whatever career changes that he may decide to make, you've put yourself on "his side", rather than being another concern that he may have- if that makes any sense. Once his work life is happier, he will be happier in general.

I don't know how you feel about it, but an anti-depressant, for both of you, may help you keep it together with everything that you are going through. I am making NO suggestion that you are weak, far from it, but it IS a stressful time for the both of you, and you are recovering your relationship through it all, too. Your family doctor can prescribe, no need to see a shrink ;-).

I'm very happy to see that you are recovering your life so well! The universe has a way of adding challenge to our lives just when everything seems to be moving along smoothly. I know that you'd like a break, just a solid drama-free year, from life's little plot twists. Then again, that's what makes it interesting....

Warm regards,
-HS

[Devaste]

Hey Train,

Thinking of you and your family. I'm sure you will have the strength to pull through whatever you face. Good job on recognizing some of the things you were doing, and making corrections. Sometimes life throws you curve balls, but I know you'll knock them out of the park. Stay strong!

Dev

[Wonka]

Train,

Been away for a while and read now that there's a new, fast moving sitch in your family's life. Wow. That takes guts to confront the baby's daddy and his parents. What a great way to start as grandparents.

Glad to see that your H was a rock for you and stood by you with the news of D18 being pregnant. You two have come a long way and I think H is right there beside you for the long haul. One cannot help wonder if how H would have handled it differently if he was still deep into his affair. Shudder!

[Train]

Not trying to ignore everyone's awesome words of support ... I've read and absorbed and cherished them all ... but I'm not in a good place, y'all.

H is trying to support my "pull-back" approach to pregnant D18 (my one daughter with whom his personality has always kind of clashed). But Baby-Daddy has pulled out and is saying he wants to relinquish his paternal rights, which has been my own personal benchmark for jumping in and helping D18.

Tonight, 24 hours after Baby-Daddy said he's "out," I emptied my soul to H, who balked a little at me providing support to D18.

And my buried, never-talked-about anger and resentment from 2005/06 reared its ugly head. H left ME high-and-dry, pregnant with his son, for another woman. He tried to have his lawyer kick me, our unborn son and my daughters out of our home. How DARE HE insinuate I should withdraw support from my daughter when her child's father has withdrawn support from her?!????

I am so mad I can't see straight right now.

[Train]

(IF there's good news, I told H that nothing good was going to come from that conversation, and he went immediately to bed. Now I have at least a day to calm myself and approach this differently. But I am so mad I could scream.)

[Train]

Oh. And I should add: the 17-year-old son of longtime family friends was killed in a car crash Saturday on his way to take the SAT. Planning to drive to his funeral tomorrow, a couple hours away, so I likely won't be on the boards ... again ... for a couple days.

I swear, when it rains, it really does pour.

I think I am officially broken.

[igit]

Wow Train, my heart bleeds for you. I have followed your thread but never posted. You are a strong woman with strong conviction.when it rains it does pour. I can understand why you vented and had reason. Don't know how much you take until you have been in the valley, but the mountains will be your reward.