The morning sun is shining like a red rubber ball.

[wishing, hoping]

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2464045&page=1

Last post linked above.

"I should have known you'd bid me farewell, there's a lesson to be learned from this and I learned it very well. Now I know you're not the only starfish in the sea. If I never hear your name again it's all the same to me. And I think it's gonna be alright, yes the worst is over now, the morning sun is shining like a red, rubber ball."

I heard this song while driving in the car today. It fits where I'm at today. If you have a chance, google the lyrics. It is an awakening.

J is no different than he ever was. He has not grown one iota which is sad considering he is 46 years old. Pathetic. S told me this weekend was awful and OW is treating him like crap. Because she doesn't fool him and she knows it. I just tell him how sorry I am that he has to deal with it. It's out of my control. S told me what went this weekend and let's just say it's not the happy home they were hoping for. I don't know who they think they are fooling. Perhaps themselves but no one else.

Yes the dog not only peed on OW but he bit her too. Not fiercely, just nipped. He's a cattle dog. It's in his DNA. So as we all predicted, J asked me to take the dog again tonight. Now it's like we would "share" custody of the dog. Lol! I told him J, you are the one who said you were keeping the dog. He said well I was mad because that woman at the kennel screwed me over. Poor J. I said that's what you get for taking the dog to a doggie bed and breakfast! Lol! But yes, he asked me to help with the dog. He told me the reason is because his nephew is getting married in two weeks and none ifte hotels in the area take pets. Bull. I joked and told him to take the dog to his brother's house. He didn't laugh.

He is just laughable. Just ridiculous. I just wish my kids werent around that madness. It's not good for them. And she's a piece of work too.

WH

[beatrice]

I am sorry that your kids are around this. The good thing (although it might not seem like it) is that J wants them in his life. That is important. So many children are just cast aside by the MLCers, and that is hurtful too.

A smart dog, and you are handling it well. As for OW what can I say. It boils down to the simple truth - what kind of person sleeps with a married man? Even my crazy xh admits that I was right about OW1. Frankly you did not have to be a genius to see that one!

WH you have weathered the most awful period and your courage and grace are amazing. Your husband was a fool to leave you and an even bigger fool for not realising it!!

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks, Bea. It helps to have your commentary and input. You have certainly seen your share of madness.

I was thinking I should push the issue with the dog and tell J that my finances are still a bit tight and that it would be nice if he could help me out with the dog deposit since he does owe me $3000. I have to do this just right. I need to tread this carefully. I don't want to hear J sing the blues about money since S told me J dropped about $300 at Menards the other day. Whatever shall J do once the money tree stops blooming? Like I said, leopards do not change their spots.

I don't know if J doesn't realize OW is not the person he makes her out to be because he is convinced in his head she is wonderful (or just not me) or if he just doesn't care. I know it doesn't matter in the long run and it's not worth my energy but some things in this world just never cease to baffle me. I can tell myself (the little amount of time I am around OW) that her colors are starting to change now that she thinks she has "sealed the deal". I am going to continue to give it to the man upstairs and let Him handle it and sit back and watch the show and try to avoid audience participation.

WH

[beatrice]

and try to avoid audience participation.

Oh yes, if you can.

[wishing, hoping]

Easier said than done.

S told me tonight OW has invited herself to D's party this weekend. She's not invited. I am the one who has planned this party and did all the work. I don't need her interference. But then again if J and her are together now, I am guessing she will show up at all the kids' events now. And I guess I should just suck it up. After all if I eventually become involved with someone I will expect him to be able to attend events with me. I hate being the better person sometimes.

D told me she told daddy not to marry OW because she's afraid she will forget about mommy. J told her that would never ever happen. That made me want to cry. I told her she won't forget mommy because she is with mommy more than she's with daddy. She asked why and I said because I want to make sure you are safe. I asked her if she forgets about me when she's with daddy and she said sometimes. I asked her if she forgets about daddy when she's with me and she said yes. I said it's okay. Mommy is always your mommy and daddy is always your daddy. Even if mommy finds another man to marry daddy is daddy. And mommy and daddy are not going anywhere. It seemed to make her feel better.

S is really upset about OW. He said at first it was her kids and now it is her. I told him I didnt want him to stop telling me about what bothers him, but I wanted him to tell his dad how he feels because I can't do anything about it. Only his dad can. I hope he tells J how he feels.

J called and wants me to come over to his place on D's birthday for a celebration. He has her that night and he said he would get the cake and some balloons. So I'll be over there for about an hour or so. I had the celebration at my place for S's birthday so it's his turn. Friday am I picking up the kids and having them for the fourth for the first time in three years. I'm very excited.

In the meantime this landlord is ticking me off. He still hasn't installed my washer and dryer and the kids bathroom is a mess waiting for the installation. Plus the skylight in S's room is leaking. It's frustrating. Plus there is excessive moisture in my bathroom and the floor is wet and so are the walls. It is gross. I told him about the issues but nothing lights a fire under him. He still has not installed a mirror in the kids bathroom that he said he would install before I moved in.

Feeling rather frustrated right now.

WH

[BklynMom]

I totally get how it could make you sick to the stomach having to deal with other woman at a family event. It would make me want to puke.

On the positive side she will be the one that gets to deal with J then and hopefully he will leave you alone.

I know when my exH attends any of the kids events (the very few he does) - he glues himself to me, trying to be my friend and be helpful and its honestly getting super annoying. He is so strange sometimes I wish his girlfriend was there to deal with him.

Ask your landlord if it would be easier for him if you hired a handyman to do the small repairs and then he could reimburse you. I think that would motivate him.

Stay positive and strong. look how far you have come.

[AJM]

You handled the kids anxiety very well. In a cohesive family, they would go off and forget about their parents for a little while each day. Forget as in, not directly think about. That's normal. It's normal to do it in your kids situation as well, but they notice it more and have some anxiety about it. It was very good of you to reinforce your commitment to her verbally. I know, what else would mother do, right? Some don't, or just don't see it as important. I'm just pointing it out because there may be more times you'll want to be aware of.

Let's face it, animals and kids are usually a pretty good judge of people. I find it odd that your S hasn't bit her or peed on her shoes yet

Your ex strikes me as the type that wants to be in control and right so badly, he'll continue on with the OW even if he does see the signs. Who really knows what he gets out of it, but it may help him later to look back at that and laugh. Much much later

AJ

[wishing, hoping]

Let's face it, animals and kids are usually a pretty good judge of people. I find it odd that your S hasn't bit her or peed on her shoes yet

LOL! AJ I'll suggest it to S and see what he says. LOL!

[wishing, hoping]

I know when my exH attends any of the kids events (the very few he does) - he glues himself to me, trying to be my friend and be helpful and its honestly getting super annoying. He is so strange sometimes I wish his girlfriend was there to deal with him.

You are right, BK. Usually J is at my side like glue and is super nice and super helpful and super annoying. I think one of the reasons she is going to make an appearance is to make sure J keeps his distance from me. I think she is threatened by me and dare I say a bit jealous. Perhaps she doesn't trust J? And honestly, why would she? I sure wouldn't if I was her.

I think J is just out to get what he can get from her. I think he thinks daddy is going to leave OW a large inheritance and J wants in on it. It makes sense that J wanted my mom to move in with us so badly and when she finally told him to buzz off, he really didn't want anything to do with my family any longer. He stopped coming home with me on visits and really had nothing to say about her. Then he was insistent his mom move in with us, even though when I asked him questions about her care and her health he had no good answers. When I said it wasn't a good idea he closed me off and decided to look for another sugar momma. And his mom had no money anyway. I don't know what he was thinking. But with J, if he believes it to be true then it is true, even if it isn't. (Boy that was circular talk, wasn't it).

So he thinks daddy warbucks is going to leave OW a large chunk of money. Once that happens and J has put in his time and is sure he can get that money, he will leave OW high and dry. He won't have to pay her a dime, because they have no kids together and knowing how J spends money, she will have to carry on part of the debt they have together. I can read J like a book. I think I got off easy.

I hope karma works quickly. My popcorn is getting stale.

WH

[wishing, hoping]

So the washer and dryer are installed now. The landlord came by and thankfully the dryer worked. He had just forgotten he needed to flip a switch or something. I cleaned them off and other than a few scratches and dents they look brand new. The dryer is huge!! I am so excited. I haven't used it yet. I'm almost afraid to. I'll run a small load tomorrow when the kids are with J. That way if anything goes wrong they won't hear me rage.

He also checked the dehumidifier (which I forgot about completely). It was full of water. He thought he had it hooked up to empty automatically but he didn't. So now I need to check it every day to see if it needs emptied. I have been running the fans in the house too and that seems to help. It's been terribly humid around here lately. And lots of rain that doesn't help.

Kids back to J's tomorrow. I will never get used to this back and forth stuff. I am all set for D's party except I need to finish the cookies (gluten free), chocolate covered pretzels, watermelon stars and fruit kebobs. I am waiting for the last minute to make the food. I learned my lesson last year.

I hope the rain holds off. But then again, I can't control the weather. We will just make alternate plans.

WH