I'm separated going on 6 weeks. I've thought of some 180s but really don't know how they'll make a difference when I have limited contact with my W. Is anyone else going through a similar situation? I have limited communication but I'm focusing on making that communication more effective and avoiding words and behaviors that might have opened the door to arguments in the past. Working on my appearance and in general just being more responsible. The whole separation in itself has been a sort of a 180 because I've turned around my tendency to pursue, plead, beg etc...
Me - 44 Her - 35 S - 6 D - 8 Married - 8 Together - 11 Separated - 5/17/2014 Divorce filed - 6/3/2014
That is number one on my list but haven't really thought about it being in relation to her. I'm working on being more nurturing and understanding with all of the people in my life but none more than my children.
Me - 44 Her - 35 S - 6 D - 8 Married - 8 Together - 11 Separated - 5/17/2014 Divorce filed - 6/3/2014
I am going through a similar situation but I have more contact with my H since we have a 7 month old together. To be honest, I feel so much better being away from the negative energy. I have yet to adjust to a normal routine. I work full time so I dont thinktoo much about it. H seems to want to make contact with me as much as possible while telling me he is firm on his decision on getting a divorce. But, I am working on my communication skills and things have been pretty ok between us so far. I have not had time to start exercising but that is my next goal to GAL.
Me:27 H:26 T:3 M:1.5 D 6 months D bomb: 6/21/14 I Moved out 9/7/14
Good point cadet... I'm new to divorce busters wife and two girls moved out just over two months agoat first I was smothering them not realizing how I was doing more harm than good now I try to focus all my energy on being a fantastic dadI can't control what my wife does but I can control what I do..hopefully in time me being the best I can bewill win her back in the end but that is not up to me to decide
Bump - OP - this has been my concern as well. I didn't consider it so, but I have been doing a few 180s. There is no way for her to know these details. I suspect like has been said above, the 180s are for you, not to impress him/her. I think it is all part of creating a new, improved you - and thats what becomes visible to your spouse.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
I"m in the same boat guys, separated, NC, and spending a few months out of the country.
Even though we have NC, I'm talking to a therapist every week, staying sober, and being 100% honest with everyone that I meet about my situation. All of which are 180's that she will never know about. I believe that we're going to have to see each other at some point when I get home and like most things, the truth of how I've been and how I've changed will be written all over my face.
Either that or she's just feel the difference in how I carry myself. Do the work for you, you're either going to come out of this with reconciliation or with a future relationship at some point. Might as well get started on taking care of yourself, and learning about who you are either way.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
So me and my wife have been separated for 3 months, she was at her parents and now she has her own apartment, Im going to counseling twice a week, one day for anger management, one day for Family counseling, I also joined a bootcamp fitness class last week, I am detaching, no more texts, calls, etc. just simple replies to anything she texts me about the kids. Im reading DB book, listening to Christian upbeat music, going to church. Still miss her a lot, the weekends are the hardest for me since the house is so empty. but Im still hanging in there, being positive.
