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Good choice, Tad smile


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Originally Posted By: tadpole1025
Thanks 25.

Quote:
If she paid you child support, she MAY have the right to claim THE PAYMENTS as deductions, which maybe is what you think she did, and or maybe caused her to think she could also claim him as a dependent.


Papers say that I was to claim him for 2011 and 2012 since she did it for 2009 and 2010. It says nothing about 2013 because he turned 18 in 2012. She has not paid child support since 2012.

Quote:
It's not all about where he lives; it's also about who "supported" him >50% of the time.


That would be me 25. She hardly spent any time or any money on him in 2013. She was way too busy getting married.



Tad, let's not let your grudge color the facts. No spin needed...okay?


I pay his share of the rent here and put food on his table.

I'm not even sure that I can claim him, but I'm pretty sure that she can't.

The divorce papers say nothing about claiming him for 2013.




Ending at 18? Maybe b/c they assumed he'd be in college. Is he in school?

Supporting kids & declaring them as dependents when they are over 18, BUT not in college and not disabled, is a bit harder to do, tax wise.

This is the error message that I got from the IRS.

"R0000-507-01: Someone has already filed a return with the IRS this year using your dependent's Social Security number (SSN)."

I'm pretty sure she can not claim him, but I will double check.

I will not be calling her or texting her, but I will be in touch with someone from the IRS.

Thanks

Tad




Did HE File for himself? Did you ask him?

And Just so you know, the IRS has a truly abysmal record of accuracy, when they are asked tax questions. They also bear no legal responsibility for their answers, believe it or not.

They literally cannot be held accountable for THEIR answers to taxpayers. (I know, it's ridiculous--but true). So Tad, I would not use them as a reference or rely on their expertise.

If this is important to you, ask a real expert or CPA or tax attorney. Even an H & R Block person would be better, imo.



M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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Originally Posted By: tadpole1025
I'm back 25.

I thought about what you said and I think she did pay a little support in 2013 because he was still in school.



Glad you gave that some thought.


I've decided that....I'm just going to let it go.


Thank God.
It's GOOD to see this. IT's so not worth the energy and I'm not sure you'd prevail anyhow,

PLUS how you'd feel if she paid more support to him, than you realized. Then you'd feel even worse, etc etc.

And if it turns out that she wasn't supposed to declare him and you are "right", well then what?

You want her to pay you back some money? How would that really make you feel, Tad?


It's not worth it. I don't need the stress or the stress that may come from communicating with her.

Not worth it at all.

I've got to concentrate on my new job and getting other aspects of my life in order.


Thanks.

Tad


Indeed you do need to look - From this day forward!!

YOU are the author of the rest of this novel, the "Life and Book of Tad."


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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Thanks 25.

Just updating:

*** My first week on the job is complete. I love it. It can be stressful at times trying to keep hundreds of tv stations on the air or trying to diagnose why a station is off, but....I really do like it. I work four ten hour days so I always have a three-day weekend. The worst part about the job is the drive: 40 miles one way. I'm going to get a better car once I get my finances in order.

*** I had a weak moment recently. I was watching "Bad Santa" on tv the other night. There is a part in the movie where they play "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Bing Crosby. XW and I have always loved that song....especially the Bing Crosby version of it. I had to turn it off. Christmas was always such a big deal for us. It made me a little sad. Too many good memories.

*** I made payment arrangements with the place handling S28's student loan. It is in collections. When I got divorced, we came to an agreement that I would pay 60% and XW would pay 40%. The loan is in my name and the agent that I spoke to on the phone said that the 60/40 deal probably isn't enforceable. Ug!!!! Why have something in the papers if it isn't going to be enforced????

*** I'm glad my boys are with me, but I wish they had a little more motivation to move out and get their own places. They are 28, 23, 21 and 19 for crying out loud. They have helped me a lot, but they need to move on (as I do.) I guess, I just don't want them to be stuck. 3 of the 4 are working and I've been after the 4th to get a job. The problem is: they make money, but not good money. None of them have motivation to get better jobs. I can't really talk though because my name for the past three and a half years has been "Mr. No Motivation." There is a really nice apartment complex less than a mile from where I work. I would like to move there when this lease is up in August of 2015. They only thing is: the jobs that my boys have are on THIS side of town.

*** Been thinking a lot lately. I'm not really sure that I want another "relationship" or if I'll EVER want one, but I do wish I had somebody to share things with and do things with. I subscribe to a meet up group and get emails all of the time about things going on. I just haven't had the guts to go...

*** My rats are still doing well. They bring me lots of joy. They must have excellent hearing because as soon as I get up in the morning, they come flying out of their hiding places in their cage and greet me. They know that I'm getting out of bed even when I don't make a sound. Sometimes, I try to be extra quiet and they still know. smile Funny stuff. They are perfectly content sitting on my shoulder and just hanging out with me.

That's all for now. I hope everyone is well.

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
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Tad, that is one of the best posts from you in a VERY long time. Lots of good stuff in there.

Very happy about the job and the future thinking!

Something to consider,
Quote:
Too many good memories
How many is too many? Personally, I like a lot of good memories. I prefer them to not so good memories. When I look back on my life, I would prefer to have all good memories and just a few that are not so good if I can help it.

My ex and I have many good memories. Well, I have them. She re-remembered hers. But that's her life. I kept the good and not so good memories and I'm glad I did.

Think about it. You didn't waste your life - you have good memories. Cherish them, Tad. It's ok to do that.

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
AJM #2474319 07/31/14 12:11 AM
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Thanks AJ. I'm slowly getting there.

It has been a very long road indeed......four years this coming October. Wow.

I think my better attitude lately is because of the new job. I know it probably sounds materialistic, but getting this job is going to help a lot. I can actually see a little hope down the road.

Happy memories? I have them, and they do make me happy, but also sad because it reminds me of what I don't have anymore. I know....I need to change how I look at things.

But.....it is what it is.

I've been reading a little bit of Matt's thread. Man, oh man. So similar to my sitch. But then, a lot of the situations on this board are so similar. Scary in a way.

New job:

I love it. I plan to be there a very long time. I like it just as much as radio I think.

Maybe more.

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
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Tad,
I'm very happy to come here and read that you are happy w/your new job. That's a step in the right direction and I think you will find that the more you are on the job, the more positive your attitude will become and w/that comes the opening of doors in the future for you in many areas of your life.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2475315 08/03/14 12:45 AM
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Thanks Job.

Yes, things are slowly getting better.

This new job is going to be my saving grace I think. Not sure what would have happened or how things would have wound up if not for the job. It has given me a new attitude and some hope. Can't wait to get my first paycheck.

Someone (a coworker actually) said something to me the other day that kind of struck me and thought that I would share:

"There comes atleast one point in everyone's lifetime that they are tested to the core. They come out more humble, appreciative and a much better person."

I just wanted to share because I really liked the quote. And.....I think it is so true.

We are in for another one of our summer monsoon storms tonight. I'm heading out to the patio with a cold one to watch the lightning and enjoy the cool rain.

Take care.

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,326
Likes: 20
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Hi everyone. Just checking in/journaling.

I'm doing ok.

I still like my job and am so thankful to have it. I got my first paycheck on Friday. I was actually able to put 50 dollars in my savings account. I know.....50 bucks is nothing but you have to start somewhere. smile

I realized today that I'm thinking of XW less and less. Sure, I still think about her almost every day, but....it is getting less frequent. I'm also thankful for that. She rarely contacts me and I prefer it that way. The sad thing though: she contacts the boys less and less.....her loss.

Been a little bummed about the Robin Williams thing. He did exactly what my brother did and the way some of the press has handled it really bothers me. It just does.

Anyways, just wanted to post a quick update. I'm on here a lot, but don't always post because there really is much to post at the moment. I have been following along though.

"Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'" - Morgan Freeman in "The Shawshank Redemption"

Take care.

Tad

Last edited by tadpole1025; 08/14/14 05:03 AM.

Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
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Hey Tad,
Glad to see an update from you. I'm glad to see you are putting away a bit of money, even if it's $50, it will soon add up. It's nice knowing you are going to have a steady income and like your job.

As time moves along, you'll think less and less about your xh. Yes, there will be a few times when memories of her will float to the surface, but overall, life will get better because you have other things to think about and keep your mind busy. As for your sons, it's her loss.

Take care of yourself!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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