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Eatsma Offline OP
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Ok...but how to prevent if I'm not bringing up the OW? At some point I have to bring it up, right?

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And the day just keeps getting weirder.

H just sent me a message that his boss just let him know that he's getting a divorce. He's in his late 50s.

Just information, but still....

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H's car went bonkers yesterday in one of the NE rain deluges that we're having. Seems to have gotten wet inside and now has electrical gremlins. GREAT. What a pain to fix. He was trying to sort that out yesterday. "I'm going to have to disconnect the battery!" "Why don't you just take out fuses instead?"
"Oh - that's a good idea."

He did say that I hate this car anyway. That's true. I've told him that I will never drive it as my primary car for a variety of reasons that have to do with OW. (He let her drive it, he has picked her up at the airport in it for months, blah blah blah...)

I did not validate that statement, however.

But SCRIPT...Wow - they really do follow a script, don't they?

Going to bed he was complaining, "My car is broken...My foot hurts...My ankle hurts...I can't do x anymore...."

My first reaction was wrong. "I haven't noticed that you have a problem doing x...."

And then I remembered validation.

"It must be frustrating to feel like everything is falling apart."

"Yeah."

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Car really broken so I gave him a ride to work.

Silence.

The loneliness is stifling.

Seriously, if you had told me a year ago that I would be doing this now, I would have told you that you were crazy.

Depression stage of MLC? Withdrawal? Does it matter?

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Originally Posted By: MLP
Depression stage of MLC? Withdrawal? Does it matter?

Unfortunately probably still in avoidance stage.

Depression is part of the entire crisis and it can be hard to figure out a stage until you look backwards many years from now.

Take my word on that.


Me-70, D37,S36
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Eatsma Offline OP
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Wheeeeeeee!

Ah, well, that's why we GAL.

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MLP i totally get what is happening . Same here , if someone said a year ago that my wife was gonna have an affair i would have laughed . Man this is hard stuff to deal with . W tries her darnedest to not need me for anything but she broke down the other day and needed me to fix her truck . Just a reminder to her of one of the things i ve done for her over 25 years . I fixed it and got a thank you. But it was begrudgingly (if thats a word )lol > It definitely appears your husband has alot of guilt and he is hurting pretty bad . Thats too bad for him . he needs to feel it , especially for what he put you through , however I commend you for being soooo dedicated and loyal . You are an amazing woman . it takes incredible character to rise above a sitch like we are in . Ive come to realize i must be a good man to try and work through this and i hope our respective spouses see this some day


Me 45 W 45
Son 16 Son 14
Married 23 together 27
W threatened sep several times
W still at home
A discovered Mar 17 2014
A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
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Dawgy, I know the man I'm living with is very, very broken. It's killing me. I have hope that he will mend. It's tough! Some days I'm more hopeful than others.

I need to mend me, too.

Today I saw, ever so briefly a flash of my man. It was ever so brief, but we glanced at each other and we were both genuinely smiling. It made my heart skip a beat, I was so surprised.

I forgot he made me feel that way.

Steady on, MLP. Steady on.

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MLP . I love reading your posts , they seem to be mirror of my sitch . Last sunday I experienced the same thing , an eye contact and a couple actions that lasted only minutes , but it was my woman . And yes it made me feel so good . The rollercoaster we are on is the wildest ride ever and it scares the [censored] out of me .She surprised me today when she actually came home on time and made a meal for me and her when she knew the kids wouldnt be home . However i had to initate the conversation and had to keep it going as i could tell there was alot else on her mind . I totally expected her to not be home and surely make an excuse to not come home and be alone with me at suppertime . She never comes home and puts herself in that situation since she started the A . I could mind read this to death but we re not supposed to do that are we ?


Me 45 W 45
Son 16 Son 14
Married 23 together 27
W threatened sep several times
W still at home
A discovered Mar 17 2014
A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,106
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Originally Posted By: MLP
Today I saw, ever so briefly a flash of my man. It was ever so brief, but we glanced at each other and we were both genuinely smiling. It made my heart skip a beat, I was so surprised.

I forgot he made me feel that way.


Originally Posted By: dawgy
Last sunday I experienced the same thing , an eye contact and a couple actions that lasted only minutes , but it was my woman . And yes it made me feel so good?


As they say in facebook land - I like this :-)


M: 57 / EW: 52
T: 21, M: 8
S: 18, S: 15
Bomb: 1 Jun 14
EA Aug 2014 I think
PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
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