"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I got WAY ahead of myself, as usual. Still need lots of work on that habit of mine.
Quote:
Why do you think I should allow you back as a part of my life?
This sounds unforgiving along with a mixture of self-righteous indignation. Am I 'warm' here, T? You make it sound as if W broke into a bank, stole a Trans-Am, or some other perceived law-breaking activity.
Would you tell a puppy who has deep, physical wound to bark/tell you why it should be allowed back into your life? Hell no! You'd scoop up the puppy and give it lots of TLC. Likewise with the MLCer.
You are right Wonka, I worded that poorly, geez what an butthurt a$$hat I sound like...
Lots of ruminating to do, or, maybe not...maybe just wait until whatever happens happens and wing it from there with open mind....maybe the only valid question is "can you see a possibility of a better, new R with me?"...idk.
Thank you!! This is why I'm here, advice, perspectives, keeping me honest with myself and brain-hurting deep questions...
Last edited by TSquared2; 06/25/1405:18 PM.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
I worded that poorly, geez what an butthurt a$$hat I sound like...
Lots of ruminating to do, or, maybe not...maybe just wait until whatever happens happens and wing it from there with open mind....maybe the only valid question is "can you see a possibility of a better, new R with me?"...idk.
Thank you!! This is why I'm here, advice, perspectives, keeping me honest with myself and brain-hurting deep questions...
Before you go smearing Vasoline all over your chaffing...
I DO think that you are correct for letting this go through your brain now, instead of during the heat of the moment...
Prepare your answers, and know what you signs are, BEFORE you are faced with having to recalculate them during the battle...
Kind of like knowing your route before you start on a trip, OR pulling over every ten miles and asking for directions...
From my perspective, we are all saying the same thing, just differently...
Just like no 2 MLCs are the same, your answers have to be yours...
Meh, you'll never get ahead of yourself as much as I do. I had the candles burning in the master BR last night awaiting W's return...
I think there's a place for the "just wing it" attitude you mentioned... especially once you're as far into this as you are, and have put forth as much effort as you have. Sometimes, we tend to overthink this stuff and make it a whole lot harder than it needs to be. You know who you are and what you want/need. Be comfortable in that and just be yourself. It makes it a whole lot easier on us, I think. And since this takes sooooo long... it's important we don't burn ourselves out.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
I'm sorry she couldn't get how incredibly worth it you are. I'm sorry she couldn't face herself and how she is responsible for her own happiness. I'm sorry she hurt you again and for how your son saw the note first.
At that same time, I'm excited for you and for your boys.
Your hard work on yourself and grace in your situation has inspired me and helped me see that this isn't about saving the marriage>>>IT IS ABOUT SAVING YOURSELF>
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
T, I'm very, very sorry that she made the decision that she did. She apparently couldn't face you w/her decision, I am very sorry for that. You've been her rock for a very long time and have shown her what unconditional love is. I'm glad you are going to mull this over for a while.
T, I do not think your wife is done and I do not think that this chapter in your life is completely over. You both will still be in each other's lives because of your sons and I also think that at some point you and your wife will be friends. Sometimes, the mlcer has to cut the ties in order to find their way back to the lbs.
Again, I am very sorry. I had such high hopes that she would heal and return home...but..I've not given up on her yet.
I wish that I could offer you a hug today for you surely need it. Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
T, I do not think your wife is done and I do not think that this chapter in your life is completely over. You both will still be in each other's lives because of your sons and I also think that at some point you and your wife will be friends. Sometimes, the mlcer has to cut the ties in order to find their way back to the lbs.
Again, I am very sorry. I had such high hopes that she would heal and return home...but..I've not given up on her yet.
I agree totally...
This is a reflection of her, not you....
People can only give outwardly, what they feel internally...
Keep moving forward buddy....
She does not define who you are, and what is in your heart
