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Thanks for the advice Barry. When we did talk I did not bring up the family members piece of conversation. I'm finally moved into my new apartment. Everything I didn't want to bring or belonged to W went into a storage space I've rented for 3 months. She is moving up her plans to get her own place in the next two weeks. Love my new apartment! Got new furniture that I really like and spent a lot of time recently hanging out with friends and family. I think I've finally gotten to that point where I'm secure in feeling like I have a future regardless of W.

On another note, I ran into W yesterday while emptying some odds and ends out of old house. She dropped in to pickup something and we began to talk about S schedule. A few minutes in she stops talking and starts crying. She said it was seeing our home in shambles and loosing it altogether. She started apologizing profuselly, saying she was sorry for everything. How things went down, how much pain she has caused, what she has done...it went on. I tried to validate, not sure how good I did because she got me really twisted up again. I think she is still experiencing withdraw from loss of OM. She is still trying to get some emotional support from me somehow. I keep trying to distance myself but it doesn't always work out because S has a lot of needs and she always seems to want to know what is going on. Anyhow, I know I just need to keep focused on GAL and myself. Let her deal with her and in the meantime just move forward.


M: 43 W: 43
Married 6 yrs.
T: 7 yrs.
Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10

Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
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I like to use the phrase "I know, this has been incredibly difficult on all of us." Validates and acknowledges her pain, while reminding her that her actions have impacted others, which is healthy I think.


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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