prayers please

[GoatGal]

Sorry, twinmom, to read your story.

You really are a trouper!

I wish I had something helpful to say, but all I can offer are my warm thoughts of support for all you're going through.

Keep hanging in there, I know it's rough.


---GG

[kml]

How about having another adult in the room the next time you ask him to move out?

[Ggrass]

Pack his things change the locks?
I'm guessing that would be action vs talking of the cheeseless tunnel? Which hasn't worked so far

[kml]

I don't believe it is legal to change the locks on him at this point. But I think having another adult in the room when you tell him he really has to move, then puts some pressure on him not to look like a wuss by staying.

[Ggrass]

Packing might show serious intent too, and it's about actions to show your words mean something. With another adult it could work, same way the ow threw his stuff to the curb.

[mishka422]

So what have you decided to do twin? Is another adult going to come be witness to your instruction to move out? Make sure when you address him about it that you don't form it like a request or a hard demand. It's an instruction. You are doing this not as a punishment to him as much as it's to protect yourself and your heart from further damage from him. Simple? NO. Necessary? YES!

Good luck.

[twinmom]

I explained to him this isn't an easy decision but it's too protect myself and the kids from getting hurt again when he decides to walk away. He actually got angry and said it's his house too and he pays for it. I remained calm and explained that he walked out and this house isn't a hotel.

His mom will be here Thursday, I will talk to her about it.
He has been coming in my room every morning and kissing me good bye (I am half asleep). Otherwise he hasn't tried to kiss me in a few days.

[mishka422]

Whoa! Full stop.

Do not talk to his mother about it! This has nothing to do with her and, trust me, blood is thicker than water. She will jump to his side at some point even if she is sympathetic to you. Do not drag family members into your R, it only leads to more heartache.

Second.....lock your door! He can't come in and disturb you in the morning if he can't access your room.

Do you have any way to move out of the house yourself? If he refuses to leave and is throwing the 'I pay for it' at you then you are left with only one option and that is to take your kids and leave. If this means being homeless, then there is no way you can do that. If this means finding an inexpensive apartment that may even be too small for all of you, it may be the difference in keeping your sanity.

[Maybell]

Twinmom, I'm sorry your H is treating you so disrespectfully. Really sorry.

Don't bring his mom into it. You need someone not connected who he will respect.

[twinmom]

I am right outside Chicago so even a small apartment would run me $1500 with electricity and water each month. Can't swing that and the moving/all the kids crammed into a small place/no yard would make me go crazy.

There is no adult that 1. Would not scream at H to get out 2. That he respects besides his family.

The reason why he has access to my room is because for now he has been helping with the baby. He will get up with her during the night and brings her to me to nurse during the night and when he leaves for work he brings get cradle into my room and puts it next to my bed so I don't have to get up till the twins are up.