"The third time's lucky. "

[cczamo]

This is the longest that has gone by without a peep from the ex, I think it's a month he's been silent. I don't even care about it anymore, would just add to the drama in my life anyway. Just once in awhile it will pop in my head, I have become indifferent towards him. I can honestly say I don't need or want to hear from him anymore because I felt so abandoned and rejected, now I feel needed and wanted by others in my life and I got my self worth back.

Do you think exH has any knowledge of your Mother's situation? Is he the type who would run not knowing what to say at a time like this?

[cczamo]

I'm still praying for you, TL and your mom and family. Yesterday, driving home from church alone in my car, I drove with my convertible top down and looked up to the clouds and the blue sky. I prayed out loud for you: "God, where ever and whoever TL72 is, please comfort her and her mother at this difficult time, and bring all of them your peace." I hope you feel the prayers from so many.

[T-boned]

Gotta say I agree with czzamo about telling your mom it's okay to let go. I told my dad that as well, and it seemed to make a difference.

We all love you here, TL. (((((((Giant group Hug)))))))))

[TL72*]

wow CC thank you so much! That really touches my heart. Thank you for your prayers. She started on the morphine today and it's just day by day now. My brother did tell her last night that it was ok to let go, that us kids would be ok and have each others back. I always tell her I love her but there's always a caregiver in the room and I feel weird talking to her with a stranger in there. I will ask her to leave a minute tomorrow morning if she's still there so I can talk to her in private. She is no longer speaking or opening her eyes or eating or drinking. Just sleeping.
I feel strong though. My cat ran away and haven't seen her since last Thursday, set a trap and she hasn't gone in it. I may have said this already, sorry if I did. My refi is supposed to close July 12th but they're still waiting on the title work which I gave them what they asked for 2 weeks ago - hoping it closes on time, not that it matters other than I want that over with. CC on your question about the ex, no I don't think he knows, we don't talk to any of the same people and I have no idea what his life is like anymore and he doesn't know mine either. All of this going on did redirect my attention to other things and the divorce, even though it's only a few months old, seems like something from my distant past at this point. Time is weird. I redid my will and my living will so that the ex is no longer any part of it. beneficiary's are changed and pretty soon I'll be all set. I like this feeling, no longer co-dependent!!! Thanks again you guys- I really really appreciate your thoughts and kindness.

[cczamo]

TL, in regards to changing your will and living will, don't forget to change any assets that "bypass" your will, such as IRAs, retirement accounts, etc.
Those named beneficiaries are distributed outside of the directions in the will, but if you're divorced from a named beneficiary such as exH, there may be provisions in your state for your intended beneficiaries to contest that possible oversight.

[TL72*]

Hey cc, I definitely changed all my benificiarys on my IRA and even my work accidental death life insurance policy. I covered all my bases
My mother passed this morning at 1am. I did tell her yesterday to let go, she was in terrible shape yesterday. Today we cleaned out her closet and they came and picked up the hospital bed and equipment for hospice. I'm glad she's no longer suffering.
On another note, I had received an email from the title company needing my exh's info so that they could contact him to sign the release on the title. I gave it to them and went ahead and emailed ex H letting him know that someone would be contacting him about that. Keep in mind that HE left me, HE filed for divorce, HE put in the papers that I had to refi, HE is the one that put in the papers that he wanted NOTHING from the house. The divorce is final now for 3 months and about a month ago HE left me an angry voicemail wanting me to refi now and not wait (I had a year, it was in the divorce decree). I had already started the refi the day before he left that message. Now I get this email this morning - which I was already feeling crappy due to my mother's ordeal, and he knows nothing of my personal business, but he wrote this in response to my email :
"I see. So I sign the deed before any money changes hands, relinquishing any rights to anything Sounds fair. At least it gives you the opportunity to f*ck me one last time. I hate this planet. Whatever. You'll get what you want."
nice huh? I did not reply. He called me twice later on and I did not answer the phone. no voicemail was left. Did he really think i'd answer a call from him after that email? I was initially angry, now i'm just feeling some pity for him. May he have all the good things in life that I've ever wanted for myself.

[Georgiabelle]

TL,

I'm so sorry about your Mom and think it's wonderful you were ae to be with her at the end. I know it's difficult.Your xh? Mega tool.

Sending you a hug!

[kml]

So sorry about your mom.

And your ex, he sounds ---- well -----ill. Or stupid. One or the other. Did he think they would refinance without him signing the title?

If he's supposed to get proceeds from the refi, you can specify that a check for that amount goes to him from the escrow company when the refi closes - apparently he can't think of things like that?

I'm sorry your whole bomb-to-divorce timeline was so short, and he sounds unbalanced and depressed. I agree with sending him mental best wishes.

[T-boned]

OMG, TL.

First of all,I am so sorry to hear about your mom even though she is now pain free. But it's never easy when it actually happens. And again, you were sooooo good to and strong for her. She left carrying much love from you with her. I will be praying for you and her tonight before I sleep.

As for your other sitch - whoa! Just got done reading and answering your post on my thread and was curious about the comments where XH was now 'spewing venom' etc. Last I heard, you had not heard from him for quite a while! Well, boy did he make a scene! I am so sorry you have to be on the receiving end of that. What did he think was going to happen???

And excuse me??? WHO got F*ck*d??? The nerve . . . Well, now it's glaringly apparent you are better off without him, and I do feel sympathy for him because he's just really lost .....in many ways. You stand tough and fair - keep your side of the street clean. I know you will.

Love the mantra - nice touch. You're too good, TL. (((Hugs))

[cczamo]

TL, I'm just checking in after a few days away, and I am very sorry about your mother, but you do know that she is in a better place, and you will see her again.

Wow! I ditto the other remarks about the exH. His email sounds exactly like my soon to be xH. I hope that someday your x puts together his email date, and the date of your mothers's passing and feels remorse, but somehow I dont know if that will happen. You should be content that you have had grace and dignity throughout, and that while you pray for him to have all the good things you want for yourself, God will deal with x in His own time.

extra hugs,
cc