quick update - mom is in end stages of liver failure and is at home for a week now in hospice care. My 2 brothers are living there (one already lived with her, the other just moved here from California). She has a nurse that comes for 2 - four hour shifts and a hospice nurse comes out several times a week. She's got maybe a few days left in her. I visit with her every day, she knows I'm there still, smiles when I greet her, says I love you when I leave and tell her that. Otherwise she's sleeping. She has a DNR order, no longer eats and refuses her meds. She's ready, it just takes time. She does take her pain pill and drinks some sprite. It is painful to watch someone deteriorate like this. After going through a "death" of sorts in January with the BD and divorce, I just felt strong again and like I'll be ok and then this happens. Well, I still feel strong (so far) and I'm feeling blessed that I can spend this time with her and let her know that I love her. It just [censored] to go through that whole grieving process and now doing it all over again. That's life though. I have been praying for God to ease her passing. Thanks ladies for your support
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. You and her are in my prayers, TL. You will get through this with the same grace you have shown in your M ending and in your life as a whole. I'll be thinking of you!
Hey TL...so sorry to read about your Mom! My Mom had liver cancer and it is not a good thing! I pray that she will be pain free and in peace! I also pray for strength for you sweetie! Hugs CW
BD-Aug 2009 OW Confirmed H moves out Dec 2009 D filed by H-Mar 2010 H asks to come home April 2011 BD AGAIN 1-15-2014! H seeing FOW! H ran away again! 1-18-2014
CW I have not seen you in awhile!! I'm going to go see if you updated your sitch. Good to see you!
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
TL, thank you for the update. I'm sorry you have to go through this but like you said, it's part of life.
Just think how comforting it is for her to know you are there with her in the final days of her life. You are giving her such a gift. As a mom, I'll bet she is so grateful and happy to have her children surrounding her with love and care. It's such an honor to be able to help them through this after all they did for you growing up.Did it for my dad a couple years ago.
TL, I know your mom is so proud of you and I wish I could tell her what a great job she did raising such a kind, smart, and strong woman of character and substance. Your mom is to be honored and congratulated on that.
To echo previous posts, you will get through this with dignity and grace because of who you are and what you have been through already. Maybe the divorce experience was God's way of training you for this.
My prayers and love to you, your family, and your mom. (((((())))))
Me 59 H47 M12 T22 No kids BD&S Apr 2,2013 - ILYBINILWY Filed 2/12/14 OW 11/13 The Universe always strikes you at your weakest point because that’s what most needs strengthening." – Joseph Campbell
TL, I'm just catching up on the boards and searched for your posts for update on your mother. I ditto the compliments from others here to your mom for doing such a great job raising you. May I add one thing that might come across as strange: You and your siblings might want to tell her not only that you love her and that you'll miss her, but that you'll be okay, and that it's okay for her to let go. I am keeping you in my prayers, and sending you ehugs...(((TL72))))
M 56 H 52 M 13.5 T 15 S 28 twinStep Ds 24 ILYBNILWY BD 1/5/14 OW 4/11/14 Divorce petition efiled 5/5/14 Divorce final 7/8/14
I am so impressed with you TL for all the growth and strength you've shown despite all the bad 2014 has thrown at you.
Yet despite all that you have been/are facing you still go on these boards, follow up with our situations here, give out sound advice, and sound so calm and grounded and strong.
I want what you're having. You are my inspiration and role model.
M 56 H 52 M 13.5 T 15 S 28 twinStep Ds 24 ILYBNILWY BD 1/5/14 OW 4/11/14 Divorce petition efiled 5/5/14 Divorce final 7/8/14
aww you guys are so kind to me, thank you so much for your support!! Thank you GB, Tboned and CC CC I will tell her when I visit tomorrow that it's ok to let go. She is still holding on but every day is a little bit worse. She doesn't open her eyes today and is not swallowing well, I think the morphine starts tonight or tomorrow, she can't seem to take a pain pill anymore - the swallowing is an issue. Hospice is supposed to come out today so hopefully they will advise. Everyone keeps saying 1 or 2 more days and it has stretched out it seems. I do tell her I love her every day and she has responded every day but not this morning. She mumbled but it is hard to understand her anymore and she is mostly just sleeping. I do think maybe God was training me Tboned - preparing me for heartache, just a double whammy of it. So far I cried more during the BD process although I miss my mother already because to me she's already gone. I have found wonderful friends and support system through this whole 6 months, I can't believe it's only been that long. Feels like an eternity. This is the longest that has gone by without a peep from the ex, I think it's a month he's been silent. I don't even care about it anymore, would just add to the drama in my life anyway. Just once in awhile it will pop in my head, I have become indifferent towards him. I can honestly say I don't need or want to hear from him anymore because I felt so abandoned and rejected, now I feel needed and wanted by others in my life and I got my self worth back. If it weren't for my mother going through this, I would truly feel happy. I do feel happy but of course sad at the same time since I'm going through the grief process again for a different reason. You guys are so awesome, thank you again, I really have learned so much from this place and could not have grown so much without it. (((hugs)))
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
I understand. Rejection and abandonment is a big one of my deals and H did both. Remember, we often attract the same type of person and that's how we end up hurt again and again. Take some time away from needing somebody. Work on yourself and your goals and animals and people. You'll find an inner peace and begin to heal yourself. Later after all this you can date and know what kind of person is good for you. Remember, if a person is prone to run (abandon) he'll/she'll more likely to do it again and again.
