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A Message from Michele
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Re: Validation: Cheat Sheet [Re: Wonka] #2463250
06/25/14 12:38 PM
06/25/14 12:38 PM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,428
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claire7 Offline
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claire7  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,428
Thanks Wonka. This was helpful. I typically say things like, maybe she is just tired... and that is different than asking him an open ended question.


Me 38 H 40
D 3
T 8 M 6
BD 10/2013

Re: Validation: Cheat Sheet [Re: Wonka] #2467966
07/11/14 05:48 PM
07/11/14 05:48 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
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Wonka Offline OP
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Wonka  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
^^^ bump time

MODERATORS: Can we have this particular topic as a stand-alone thread right under Sandi's in the Newcomers' resource section? This way, people can click it any time for a quick reference instead of wading through Sandi's threads to get to this link.

Thanks much! smile (there's a bunch of pizza boxes coming your way as my token of appreciation)

Re: Validation: Cheat Sheet [Re: Wonka] #2469354
07/16/14 06:46 AM
07/16/14 06:46 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 241
Canada
R
rayzzz Offline
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rayzzz  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 241
Canada
I like pizza. Thanks for the take away anyways...this validation sheet is such a great weapon of love to use in our daily db skirmishes. Thanks Wonka and next time, no anchovies! lol


Me 42 W:35
M: 14yrs T:15yrs
D: 8yrs D:6yrs S:3yrs
BD: "I want a D"09/03/14
Sep: 30/06/14

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Re: Validation: Cheat Sheet [Re: mdu] #2469372
07/16/14 10:52 AM
07/16/14 10:52 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 334
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Eatsma Offline
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Eatsma  Offline
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Posts: 334
I need to read this whole thread, but I thought of this last night as H was going through script:

"My car doesn't work, my body doesn't work...."

My first response was not appropriate, "But I see...."

and then I remembered this and said, "It must feel frustrating to feel like everything around you is breaking down."

Gotta practice!

Re: Validation: Cheat Sheet [Re: Eatsma] #2473347
07/28/14 08:05 PM
07/28/14 08:05 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
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Wonka Offline OP
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Wonka  Offline OP
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Posts: 7,319
Bearing down right at ya in my neon-pink bumper car...watch out!!!

Re: Validation: Cheat Sheet [Re: Wonka] #2477208
08/08/14 08:20 PM
08/08/14 08:20 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 370
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mindsin Offline
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mindsin  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 370
Holy moly! Thank you Wonka for bumping this thread. I'm having dinner with my WAW tonight and absolutely needed these tips!!!


M: 15 years
BD: 6/25/14
EA/PA: starts 5/14/14
11/30/14 - A ends
5/15/15 - D is finalized.
11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!
Re: Validation: Cheat Sheet [Re: Wonka] #2477219
08/08/14 08:50 PM
08/08/14 08:50 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,106
Merrie England
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Old Dog Offline
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Old Dog  Offline
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Merrie England
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Bearing down right at ya in my neon-pink bumper car...watch out!!!

Oh my!


M: 57 / EW: 52
T: 21, M: 8
S: 18, S: 15
Bomb: 1 Jun 14
EA Aug 2014 I think
PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
Re: Validation: Cheat Sheet [Re: Ggrass] #2479948
08/17/14 11:00 AM
08/17/14 11:00 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 288
J
JCred Offline
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JCred  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 288
Quote:
"I am sorry that you feel that way"


Please be careful using this phrase. I have seen many people get offended when hearing this. It can come off as sounding like you just read a book on how to validate. It can come across like you still think you are right and they are wrong in what they feel.

Remember.. Michelle says the medium is the message.


Justin Credible
Re: Validation: Cheat Sheet [Re: Wonka] #2481900
08/23/14 02:04 PM
08/23/14 02:04 PM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 273
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NewB3 Offline
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NewB3  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 273
This list is very helpful after you've done the 180's for a while. W a W begins to talk more about her feelings and every day things. Just be careful to not use too many of these in conversation as you don't want to sound like you're simply reciting things from a textbook. That being said this is a fantastic list and should have a sticky on it in the newcomers area. I know it can be found elsewhere on this form, but it is really needed here.


Me43/WAW43..M 4y..S1 11/S2 4..Bomb2/2014..Dfile 5/2014..Settlement signed 8/20/14..D final 8/29/14
I moved out 10/10/14..WAW got D she wanted. I wanted R. No waiting,just no boundaries in her way.
Re: Validation: Cheat Sheet [Re: Wonka] #2492050
09/28/14 07:36 PM
09/28/14 07:36 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
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Wonka Offline OP
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Wonka  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
George Clooney is now a married man!

Good I have your attention....it's bump time.

Validate away to your hearts' content. grin

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