Crimson.....shifting from reverse to drive.

[Crimson]

Last thread

About to get my last thread locked.

[Mach1]

Congrats! I was going to ask..... Where does one scuba in the desert?

LOL...I was wondering the same thing Gineen...

So at the end of the service I head to my car, look at the phone, and see the following text from XW's mother:

"Looking to book July 1-10 for (S) to come visit Iowa, but I need your approval Crimson. Please give me a break."

I dunno, just a thought here...

I realize that your X drug your XMIL into this, yet I do feel as though you might want to keep an open communication here.

Maybe think about a short, sweet response..

No response seems to be a little on the punishing side of things...


I am sorry that your Daughter put you in the middle. This is something that should stay between her and I.

As for for your request ? That does not work for me. Thank you, and I hope that you have a great day.


GM ???

Am I thinking right here ???

[Crimson]

Really quick because I have to hit the road for the office - but what do you think if I wait till all of this is over to respond to XMIL? And do so kindly? I really do not care to open a dialogue with her on the matter right now as it is between XW and me - and I have made my intentions clear to XW. If XMIL's relationship with me that she was trying to maintain is genuine and not self-serving (meaning stay kind to get things when she wants them) she will understand.

Thoughts?

Crimson

[Mach1]

I really do not care to open a dialogue with her on the matter right now as it is between XW and me -

Think about it this way....

You aren't opening dialogue with her, you are closing the dialogue on this matter, with her...

And you are doing it with courtesy, and respect ( by not ignoring her text).

Anything further from her, on this subject ?

Then I would consider ignoring that...

For now ?

Keep it in line with what you would want in return....

[labug]

I agree^^^ She isn't a villain, she just wants as much time as possible with her grandson.

Do they ever visit AZ? They may have to step up those visits.

[Crimson]

Bug - her mom comes about once, maybe twice a year. Her dad does not travel too well anymore so he has not been here since before the D. XW tries to get back once in the summer and once during the holidays....historically I have supplemented those trips with my time. I stopped doing it last Christmas and she became quite angry.

XW texted me this morning (it's my bday today):

"was running late this morning so will have S call to wish you happy birthday later today. If you want to pick him up after school today to spend time with him, you can."

It's her day to have him, so I am going to respectfully decline her offer. Seems inappropriate for me to draw a hard line on the divorce agreement and then accept concessions from her....plus I made plans to celebrate with S tomorrow. But yeah, I sure wish I could see him today for my bday - but it's not going to happen.

Crimson

[Mach1]

It's her day to have him, so I am going to respectfully decline her offer. Seems inappropriate for me to draw a hard line on the divorce agreement and then accept concessions from her....plus I made plans to celebrate with S tomorrow. But yeah, I sure wish I could see him today for my bday - but it's not going to happen.

First off...

Happy Birthday !!!!

Secondly...

Take advantage of that time, if she is willing to give it up.

It doesn't have to come with any obligations, other than it is your birthday....

Also doesn't mean that you have to change your mind about the other issue...

Put that guilt aside and do something un-expected today, and take advantage of her generosity.....she would....

[sandi2]

I think it's a good decision. I just don't trust her "willingness" to "let" you have him on your BD. She has ulterior motives.

Happy birthday!

[Crimson]

This just happened:

"Crimson- Mom just let me know she has already booked July 1-11th. She said she has tried a couple of times to run the dates by you and did not get a response.
Please contact her with your concerns or if you are insisting she change the dates."

Discuss.....

I think it is time for a phone call.

[Mach1]

You DID answer her...

my reply.....

"Thank you for suggesting, but I am not comfortable with selecting your vacation dates for you. All that I ask is that he can be here for Father’s Day if you choose to go in June. Other than that, any dates that fit within the agreement are yours to take. I do hear your points, but I am sticking to the terms in the agreement from this point forward. I do not want any of your days in exchange."

Wait till you calm down, and remind her that you have already decided, and the dates will have to be changed....