So sorry to hear this Acc. I know how hard you fought for it to work. The process will have ups and downs but you will be ok. I'm living proof. And once you grieve and start to feel ok about life. Hold on cause the fun begins. Let us know how it goes =@@=
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
You've done what you needed to do to get to this place. It's much different from where you were 3-4 years ago.
Sadness is right where you should be, don't you think? And soon that will pass. You've been a great father to your kids but I have the feeling they're about to meet a new and even more fun and interesting Dad.
All the best, Acc ((( )))
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Hey Acc - I just wanted to come here and give my support as well. You've been a great influence and example to so many people here and I am sorry things did not work out for you.
It truly is sad that some people just cannot rise to the occasion when it comes to adversity and hardship as that is the only time that true learning and self-awareness is possible. At least this experience has given you that.
Best of luck Acc. Praying for you.
Me:38 W:39 No Children BD: 5/13 EA/PA Confirmed: 7/13 W Moved out 12/13
Your post has made me sad. Your's is one of the "voices" on this board that I enjoy "hearing" the most. I really wish things had been different for you in your marriage.
I know that you will survive this, and that you will ultimately find happiness again with someone else.
Acc, my thoughts and prayers are that you weather this blow and come out on the other side soon.
For me, having "something to work on" gave me a reason and a purpose to feel better about. You've done all the work in the world on how to be a great husband and partner, and you've walked the talk for a very long time.
If I can make a gentle suggestion, it would be to get at the heart of why you ended up with the W you did, and how you came to be married to her for so long and have kids with her. Some things you don't see from the front end that you notice looking back, and some of them will be about you in addition to those things you have learned about her.
You are in a position to be very appealing for someone who can't quite carry their own emotional weight, because you've been carrying it for two for so long and it's what you're used to. Take steps to break that potential cycle.
This post is intended not to find fault with you but to share parallels that I see between you and me, and related advice that I got from my IC.
May your next Mrs not be such a project. She will undoubtedly be lucky, but you should be lucky too.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
“Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person.” ― Gerard Way
