My last thread locked. I haven't posted in a while but a special hello to those who have been looking for me...
Linda! I was thrilled to see your update on Bright's thread and do hope that you come back and say hello when you are able. Sounds like your H is still in fantasyland. Watching from the outside, it is almost too funny - he is preparing for Russia and the Russian Hoe is preparing for Florida. Someone can make a comedy skit out of that, I am sure!
Nothing much new in my sitch - I last heard from xSO at the beginning of April - short text hope all is well and something about the weather. Really deep stuff, snort.
I sent a really short reply and haven't heard anything back since. Next time he texts me, I am going to ask why or something. Just something I need to do for me. I do not expect an answer. There is nothing to lose.
Recently my dad has not been doing very well. He is off for surgery in another town. I will be heading there shortly. Sigh, I feel awful for thinking that all I wanted was a quiet month. Not like he wanted this either.
Life seems a bit colourless right now. And our lousy weather is not helping. But the complaints department is closed and I have to deal.
Portia, I'm glad you posted. I've been a bit worried about you. I'm sorry to hear about your dad, but I'll keep him in my thoughts and prayers. Please travel safely to and from where he's at.
As for your SO, he's lost in his own little world. I think it's time that you asked him some questions, just to get a sense of where he's at on his journey. You may or may not get the answers you are seeking, but at least you'll have a sense of where he's at.
I hear you about the lousy weather. We are experiencing it too. BTW, the complaint department is not closed. We are open 24/7 and are hear to listen and offer support.
Take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Portia, you are so right about Linda’s H. He is still in lala land. Didn’t he get a message that RT doesn’t want to live in Russia, LOL.
AS for your xSO, he is in his fantasy world too. I think he does these texts just to check if you are still there. Maybe he needs more time to go through what he is going through, who knows. If you feel that you need to ask some direct questions, do it. I don’t think it is going to hurt anything. I’m not that brave yet, so I’m just sitting quite and observing.
I hope your Dad gets better. Sending some positive thoughts your way.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
glad you're "out there' and sorry to hear about your dad. life is never "just quiet" it seems. i'm distrusting of "quiet" now a bit. anyway- you and he are in my prayers.
it's so hard with parents health stuff- really swirls you into their lives and there's just no answer other than "do it" if you can. seems in life there is never a good time or enough time - but somehow we gotta just pitch in and do what we can - make time if at all possible.
i know i complained like a mad woman about my tormented r with my mom- but i always patched it up and went back in the end. (i even could understand her frustration at being old and sick and in pain and lonely- etc) ( that my efforts could not "fix" all that with her and others) and she needed someone to TELL (AND TELL AND TELL, ...)it just was what it was -
(i had a good friend buzzing in my stinnkin ear - telling me for years and years - just do it- just go over - just do it while she's alive - just over look the problems ) and so, i did. she was right. one day it all became critical and "the end" comes along - and it was easier to let go knowing however imperfect it all was- i was always there pretty much and i think "we were "good" with each otehr.
seems like it happened suddenly - all things being considered - you just never know.
i feel like that too- i could be dead tomorrow - would i be glad for how i spent today if i found out it was my last day on earth? idk - sorry man - i'm too wierdly "heavy" lately.
let me just say good luck and glad you're doing okay and out there still- .
Hello Everyone!! So great to "hear" you all on the new thread.
Only have a few minutes now. Thank you for all of your prayers and well wishes for my dad. There were some comlications during surgery but he is recovering well. And he's grumpy which means he is doing just fine ! My dad and I really are pals - too much alike sometimes!
Now, I will need to catch up on work and all the little things that do not get finished when something unexpected comes up. Nero, I would give anything for a "quiet week"!
Nothing further from xSO. He does not even know about the surgery. It occurred to me that he is truly that far out of my life. Yes, if he ever contacts me again - it has been about a month - I will ask some questions. But if he doesn't contact me, I am OK with letting sleeping dogs lie. I have no intention of contacting him just to ask questions to which I likely will get no answers. And if he never contacts me again, that is an answer in itself.
On an up note, my grumpy ole cat was positively thrilled to see me when I got home. I should go away more often!
Thanks again for your thoughts and good wishes. They truly mean a great deal to me.
Portia, Thank you for the update on your dad. I do hope that he's well on his way of making a full recovery. I'm sure your cat was so happy to see you and he'll most likely tell you all about it in the days to come. LOL!
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
glad to hear from you and glad your dad is recuperating. it's hard when our parents get old. i always wonder if it's like waking up f eeling not so good- and then knowing it willll never be better than today. eek. even when i'm sick i look forward to end of the cold- gotta be dispiriting a bit. i guess some people manage it better than others.
about asking. your so sounds like mine. maybe you'll get neutral, non-commital doofis answers like i do. for a lawyer who made his "fortune" with his powers of persuasion- he is amazingly unable to communicate (or amazingly unwilling) . t ho, he never talked about his feelings or r even early in r. what a guy, what a person. i'd give alot to even begin to understand what the heck he can be thinking. he swears he just doesn't think...(???) and that he doesn't think further ahead in life than about 15 minutes.
i think it's a dopey thing to even say- yet he does. maybe too many drugs in the 60s and certain portions of brain are just fried.
idk- but i'd say what the heck. perhaps he has some perspective and will surprise you. if you feel like it- i'd say do it.
i spend most of my time biting my tongue so i do not ask anything- because it never makes me happy or feel anything other than "what a selfish schmo". and also- "what a dud and is thaty really all this guyu has to say. it's like even kindness or compassion are going to cost him too darn much - kind of thing. nothing to sink my teeth into. it's soooo lame i just end up feeling embarassed for him and embarassed to realize he doesn't even feel enough to bother to try and think up stuff to say, or explain, or something....anything. just closes up like a big ole clam. mayube when he is faced with emotions - he just becomes disabled inside.
or - more like - maybe he's sooooo fearful of displaying any affection, understanding, because he thinks i'll rip my cloths off and attack him (joke) idk
he spends his life grilling me and anyone that talks to him- yet answer any questions himself- nope....
scorpios - my motehr could not say affectonate things to her children. others, okay, - us, no way. once we were asking her about her childhood, when she got yanked out of school (13) and what she felt- and she just began crying in the car. couldn't talk about it- and yet it was such a powerful memory and bad time of her life - she absolutely couldn't find any words!!! how f'ing wierd is that??? she and he are alot alike- i wonder all the time what sort of a sicko i am to have chosen him and not seen.
either mwd is right and they're mlc and nuts. orrrr, i've wasted the bulk of my adult life on this cold detched person. i wonder where the heck the wonderful guy went- if he's in there somewhere - like my alcoholic sister. who was the real person??? was she in there still? or was it the person who appeared with alcohol. never found out- still don't know and never will.
him too-
well- good luck. you're sounding very good these days. is it really 14 years for you??? that is sooo long-
