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Train #2447283 04/21/14 11:10 PM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 140
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MamaB Offline OP
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We only have to wait 60 days, I wish it were longer. My lawyer tells me that typically, in an easy divorce, takes about 3 to 6 months.

Yes, my H handled telling me (over the phone) and serving me in front of the kids, and dated Valentines day, pretty poorly. His sensitivity chip has malfunctioned! He still does not even realize the hurt this caused me.


M45 H46
M16 yrs
D17, D10, D7
DB 1-23-2014
H filed D 2-14-2014
MamaB #2447286 04/21/14 11:29 PM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
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Oh, Mama. They've ALL lost their sensitivity chip. I'm so sorry. frown

I'm gonna be honest, and this might be an unpopular thing to say, but ...

I haven't met ONE person who's had the rug pulled out from under them so suddenly - out of seemingly NOWHERE - when an affair wasn't involved.

Getting irrefutable proof of it is another story.

I just found your sitch, I'm caught up and I'm here with you, Mama. Big hugs!


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Train #2447310 04/22/14 01:23 AM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 140
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MamaB Offline OP
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Thank you Train, I truly appreciate it.

I think I wanted to believe there was not OP, that he was being honest about that at least. If it is true, I am more upset about the lying (I think).

A 180 for me is that before BD, I would have been on the phone confronting him about what I found. But I have tried to really think about what this means to me, slowing down and working through my feelings. I'm sad because my H can be such a romantic, I have not be on the recieving end of that for so long now, but I remember how much thought he can put into wooing someone. I'm trying feel these things and let them pass through me.

I hope my H owns up to it one day, if true.


M45 H46
M16 yrs
D17, D10, D7
DB 1-23-2014
H filed D 2-14-2014
MamaB #2447930 04/24/14 01:04 PM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 140
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MamaB Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 140
My STBX is coming to town this weekend to see the kids. He wanted to stay here at the house, but saiid that would not be a good idea because my parents are visiting. He is in the hotel biz and his company manages a resort about an hour away. He said he would take our younger girls there for the weekend, but wanted to stay Thursday night and would leave early the next morning. I just email him that it would not be a good idea, but he could use my van for the weekend to drive to the hotel.

It is the first time I really pushed back about his staying here, I really don't want him to, but feel very guilty by saying no about it to. I still worry about what he is going to think of me, which really I should not. I'm dreading his responce. I'm confused.

Also, my 17yr old asked me if I would take him back if he asked. I had to really think about this, I told her that keeping my family together would be my priority, but he woukd have to do a lot of work on himself first and then a lot of work along with me. I may not always feel this way, and I don't see him wanting back. It seems so much easier for him just to walk away, I know that may or may not be true, but that is how it feels to me.


M45 H46
M16 yrs
D17, D10, D7
DB 1-23-2014
H filed D 2-14-2014
MamaB #2448024 04/24/14 06:29 PM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 140
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MamaB Offline OP
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Posts: 140
Well H just emailed back that he wants to stay in the home for the one night. I don't if I should hold firm or give in and just let him stay. On the one hand, he has moved to Denver and does not live here (his stuff is still here until the D is finalized) on the other hand, when does he stop staying in the house when comes to town.

He wants yo stay because he gets in late and wants to see kids in morning. The only reason he is not staying all weekend is because my parents are here, he feels he is being generous and sinsitive to that. I don't know if this is the stand I need to take.


M45 H46
M16 yrs
D17, D10, D7
DB 1-23-2014
H filed D 2-14-2014
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