Poor, poor little man. I could just cry over his sob story. Yes, he's going to play the victim and you will be blamed for everything. Oh, well...don't buy into it. You were a wife, housekeeper, bottle washer and a mother. You also were a mother to a man that should have been accountable for his own actions all of those years and yet, doesn't recognize the truth yet.
Heather, don't bother responding back. He's mad and hurt that you would even think about doing something to help yourself and the girls. He actually thought he had you in his hip pocket and you would never file. It's time for poor boy to face the music and be held accountable for his consequences.
Heather, you and the girls are going to be okay. This is the way they act when they are made to tow the line. Your h isn't any different than any of the other mlcers crying the blues. You need to purchase some stock in the Kleenex industry. He's going to be crying for quite a while.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Having to sit and listen to Smokey go on, for the umpteenth time, how his wife of 20+ years has ruined his life.
And, THEN, have to deal with a visibly upset Smokey when his wife retains an atty.
If I were OW, I would think to myself...why didn't he file first? Why is he so upset when he is finally getting the divorce?? Shouldn't he be happy to be free to be with ME???
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Heather, Don't poke the bear any more than you have to. Leave him alone and just focus on you and your girls. You need to allow him to suffer in his own little world.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I kinda feel like that scene in Tangled where Rapunzel first leaves the tower and she has these sorta manic episodes of freedom followed by fear and worry about what she has done.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I had stated FIL was Smokey's atty, so they must have contacted FIL and, then, FIL felt it important to make it clear that HE IS NOT REPRESENTING SMOKEY in my Litany of Complaints.
Ummm....just exactly what I thought from FILs email, he didn't sign up for any of this and doesn't want to be involved.
NOW - this might be a good time to take a flyer and try presenting Smokey with an offer of some sort. Perhaps something along the lines of: -child support by state formula -Half his retirement from the years he was married to you -alimony for 1/2 the number of years you were married (or whatever your state standard would be) - he continues health insurance on the kids - you keep the house
In return, you agree that his paying the mortgage was in lieu of child support in the past, or some such. Discuss it with your lawyer.
If it's an entirely reasonable offer and in line with what a judge would decide, your FIL might convince Smokey that he should just take it. You might have a small window of time in which Smokey is still hoping to save attorney's fees. Once he hires his own attorney that window will close.
But stop with the snide emails and stuff.
Also - most people lose a surprising amount of weight due to the "bomb" diet. If you're gaining that much instead, get your thyroid checked, ok?
