So yesterday I went car shopping and came home with my dream car: the Nissan Leaf. It is BLUE and has all the bells and whistles. A fun car that is ME!
I kind of hated my old car. Every time I looked at that ugly gray Versa I wished it was something else. And I remember that he was in his we are together forever mode with me, so we needed a new car together, so I got pushed into that car.
The Leaf is a lot like the Versa. Just the color I love and fancy inside. I thought long and hard about this, and it is the right thing for right now.
I went out for awhile. Then came home and went for a cool down swim. It was a warm one today. And while I was swimming, more floating than swimming, I realized I have been doing a good job of following 25's advise to "Create a Beautiful New Life".
I wrote it on my wall, I said it to myself 'til it stuck. And I am getting right where I want to be. And it feels good!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Wendy, I'm so proud of you. You struggled for such a long time, but look at you now! I'm glad you purchased a new car and the blue is a beautiful color. Enjoy the ride and know that no matter what happens, life is good. Staying positive has been the key to your success.
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
My X is finally moving out. He got the keys to his new house this morning. He moved a few truck loads. And of course bought himself a new 70" TV. And then sort of hinted he might not be out for a few days. I told him I expected him to be sleeping in his new house by Thursday night. I seriously am over it all. It is still painful to keep seeing him. He is like a child, showing me all the photos of where he is putting his furniture. He asked me to go on his walk-thru with him the other day. I did, he picked a decent house.
I guess it is nice he wants to still be friends. But it doesn't feel nice. I feel like I am just road-kill, flattened and left dead on the road. He told me he figures I will be so lonely I will be calling him asking can I spend the night. I think he really is silly!
He also opinioned that when we are 70 we will get back together and drive an RV around visiting our grandchildren. He doesn't seem to realize I am not waiting around 15 years to drive around in an RV with him!
The far more likely outcome is I find a nice guy and in 15 years I will still be with him. And my X will be a distant memory as the joy-kill I was married to who thought I was his servant whose main function in life was feeding him and making sure the TV ran by paying the electric bill and DirecTV bill!
I am doing my best to keep being nice. I went through the cupboards and sorted out a reasonable amount of stuff for him. He went through the tools and gave me a few things. And I took out a few that were mine, like my shop apron from my college woodshop class. And he gave me 6 screwdrivers out of about 60 he has. I live a short distance from Sears and figure I will go buy tools as I need them. All the better if they are PINK!
Part of my moving on with my life plan involves swapping out some things that are familiar. Like my dishes, my pots and pans, and even buying a new car. I want to start painting my house in some new fun colors. Stuff just to please me. For so many years I have picked out stuff to lean towards "us" as in okay for a guy. I want my new bedroom to be teal! And the bathroom will be a brighter teal! And my guest room will be Asian over the top! And my sewing room will be pinks and fuchsias!
Thanks for letting me vent. I hope you are all safely and happily moving along in your life's. ALOHA!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
You sound Fantastic! You ARE so moving fwd! I met him. I will never forget the look on his face as he was trying to figure out how you knew your friends from Canada - LOL! Being nice is good. I have no regrets about the times I was nice to mine - I just wish I didn't waste time thinking he was going to change his mind &'come back. LOL - so glad that didn't work out. Your ex is in la La Land. He might stay there permanently. Not you - you are a charming, vivacious woman. You WILL meet a terrific guy & make a new life. But in the meantime - do for you! Teal is my favorite colour - do it! Do what you want for you! I bought Fiestaware dinnerware in all the colours & just love setting the table. Go figure! Great changes are in the works!
SOW comes and goes. She and he make up and break up. With alarming regularity. He told me they were done for good several weeks ago. I laughed and told him they would be back together in a few days. And indeed it was so. Comically he told me and "warned" me in case anything else happened with my internet stuff. I told him I had a strong password on my Pinterest account, so I wasn't worried.
I'm pretty sure she still reads everything I post here. I don't really care. I could make a new user name on here, but what would be the point? I value having read all your stories and the interactions we have had too much to give that up.
She still lives in another state. So they have a perfect relationship. They both do whatever they want day-to-day, talk on the phone and text often and get together every couple of months for a honeymoon. I'm sure she will enjoy his new house and his big TV when she comes to visit.
I hadn't seen her in three years, and when I saw them at the Great Aloha Run it was like looking at a photograph of people I didn't know. I seriously had no emotions. And my friend beside me was more bothered. So time does make all things fade. I still miss what I thought I had, but that wasn't real.
Tomorrow I'm going out with a visiting VA official. I went to a meeting she spoke at and she recognized me from 30 years ago when we were both in the air force. Her now X worked for me and she and I were pregnant with our first children at the same time. I hope to take her out on the SUP's but the wind might be too high. I'm sticking with the motto of never cancel on a forecast, but have a back-up plan of mai-tais at the beach bar!
Aloha All!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
But you, my darling, are a WINNER! I'm liking this lemonade you've made. You have your art, your house, your SUP, your job, your family. And someday I know a tall handsome Mr. Right will come along (or maybe a short rich Mr. Right - whatever!) and treat you like the princess you are!
Have you considered taking in a boarder now that ex is gone? A few hundred extra a month and someone to chat with on occasion could all be good things. Right now my house is full with mom and oldest son, but I definitely plan to rent out a room or two in the future and use that money for traveling!
