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I guess what I'm going for here is confirmation if I'm doing the right things or if this is a cheeseless tunnel


Me 38
Her 38
Daughter 7
Married 11 Together 16
BD 3/21/14
Moved out 3/8/15
D final 3/11/15
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 80
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Just signed the papers, well the signatures requiring a notary. Going to put the folder exactly the way it was maybe she won't take them for a while. The notary told me my wife didn't sign one of the forms. i find this unusual of my wife because she is very detail oriented and especially since she works in the legal dept at the company she works for.

Guess i should start the 30 day clock.


Me 38
Her 38
Daughter 7
Married 11 Together 16
BD 3/21/14
Moved out 3/8/15
D final 3/11/15
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 80
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We have been texting tonight while i'm at work about our daughter getting sick or allergies. Sends me a picture of our daughter in my wife's bed saying 'sleeping good, hate to move her' and i ask 'you haven't been to sleep yet?' she replies 'nope' i jokingly say 'tsk tsk tsk' and she says 'can't sleep' I'm pretty sure it's about the divorce. she reflects on it whenever we have a good day and today was awesome.

I woke up while they were out to a friends house so our daughters could play together when they got back i was doing yard work. She liked that very much, she said 'when i got to the driveway I thought the new neighbors across the street were clearing bushes but then thought 'they wouldn't put it on our side of the street' then i came up the driveway and saw you behind the retaining wall with a machete and throwing stuff down to the yard. She told me to hurry up and get a shower because we are going out to dinner.

I take a shower, come downstairs in a polo and khakis and immediately she says. 'Go change! i'm wearing jeans and we're only going to Taco Mac'(local sports bar).

So we go there, work together to figure out something for our daughter to eat(a few food allergies). I've been more involved with her on this lately. before I would defer to her if we were dining together but I know what she can eat if it's only me and our daughter. She asks me 'where's the braves game?' I tell her it's not until later. It was nice hearing her looking for something that I like.

After dinner she asks me and our daughter both do we mind if we all go to the store. I tell her it's fine with me and i'll keep our daughter busy. we get to the store I tell her i'll push the cart(my wife has shoulder problems at the moment).

We get home, put the groceries away and I have to get ready for work in a hurry because it's 15 minutes until i have to leave.

I know all of this is stuff I should've been doing all along in our relationship, and i normally would have but usually only if asked and probably with a comment or two from me (don't ask why, looking back in time i have no idea why).

I'm terrified of Monday already. Scared she will ask me to initial the pages necessary. It won't ruin our day tomorrow I just hate it being in the back of my head. I'm just so mad at myself for letting this happen.


Me 38
Her 38
Daughter 7
Married 11 Together 16
BD 3/21/14
Moved out 3/8/15
D final 3/11/15
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 66
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VFL,
I feel for you. I am in a very similar situation with my wife. Just last night we got into an argument again about us. She reiterated that she has no romantic feelings for me and wants a divorce. We have stayed together for our daughter but her resolve to end our marriage is too strong.
I am sorry for your situation.

Wayne


Wife emotionally checked out 2 years ago
ILYBNLWY 2/1/2013
M-48, W-40
D-9
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Yeah we were supposed to stay together until our daughter was older until a month ago. And I thought I that was best and I wanted out. Sadly I think I realized too late that I don't want out, ever.


Me 38
Her 38
Daughter 7
Married 11 Together 16
BD 3/21/14
Moved out 3/8/15
D final 3/11/15
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 66
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It is a catch 22. Live in frustration or end things and be frustrated about the new situation.


Wife emotionally checked out 2 years ago
ILYBNLWY 2/1/2013
M-48, W-40
D-9
Living together in separation for daughter
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 80
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Yeah. I wanted to reconcile before she said she wanted a divorce but i was afraid that would push her away since she wanted a divorce eventually.


Me 38
Her 38
Daughter 7
Married 11 Together 16
BD 3/21/14
Moved out 3/8/15
D final 3/11/15
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 80
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Originally Posted By: 2little2late
VFL,
I feel for you. I am in a very similar situation with my wife. Just last night we got into an argument again about us. She reiterated that she has no romantic feelings for me and wants a divorce. We have stayed together for our daughter but her resolve to end our marriage is too strong.
I am sorry for your situation.

Wayne

Thing is she wants to have sex, or at least fool around once a month (this is usually when she's ovulating) i have told her i don't think it would be a good idea long term. It's tough because I'm still unbelievably attracted to her.


Me 38
Her 38
Daughter 7
Married 11 Together 16
BD 3/21/14
Moved out 3/8/15
D final 3/11/15
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 80
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I also have a question for people that have gone through a divorce with children and their spouses get in relationships.

Is it natural to have a distrust of men being around my daughter? I worry about them both but my wife can take care of herself. I worry about my daughter being abused. I know this probably won't happen but it does happen. I know my wife wouldn't knowingly put our daughter in that situation but i know people can be deceiving so he may be like that without her knowing.

My wife says it will be a long time before she is in a relationship but I told her guys will be coming at her like crazy. She an incredibly beautiful woman with a heart of gold.


Me 38
Her 38
Daughter 7
Married 11 Together 16
BD 3/21/14
Moved out 3/8/15
D final 3/11/15
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 80
V
VFL Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 80
She brought up me signing the papers while i was cooking dinner. she said"i hate to bring it up because it puts you in a bad mood but will you sign the papers tonight?"

Asked her why the rush since we've been getting along so good lately.

She said she needs to let go. I told her she let go last year(she told me this a while back), why does she need a sheet of paper for her to feel like she let go? She said she just does, doesn't feel like she could start over without it. That she doesn't feel like we could get back together without time apart, being a year or whatever. I told her we could separate and I'd still move and when she was ready we could work on our relationship. she said she would need to start over completely. another wedding and everything because this marriage is dead.
I told her we could renew our vows after a while and she said she would need the whole thing over again because this is dead.

I'm wondering do i need to let her go? Its been a month and she says no change in get mind, although i feel like there is doubt I'm what she should do.


Me 38
Her 38
Daughter 7
Married 11 Together 16
BD 3/21/14
Moved out 3/8/15
D final 3/11/15
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