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Much better day today thankfully smile

For the past few days i've been beating myself up wondering why I was struggling so much to detach... i've realised today that I was just having a few "growing days" and I needed to be brought down to the brink of insanity in order to get back up and feel even stronger smile need to remember that next time i'm struggling, it was nothing to do with not being detached enough!

I've realised today that I don't have any urge to call my H, I don't even particularly want to answer when he calls, his words go over my head & half the time I'm not even listening, his opinions on me & where I am don't affect me much, I don't think about him anywhere near like I used to, his negative talk is easier to ignore now... I'm assuming these things mean I'm going in the right direction for detaching?!


Divorce Final: Oct 2014

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It's oh so quiet, shhhhh shhhhh!! lol.

Been to the beach enjoying the sunshine with the kids, my parents & brother today - lovely day! Difficult moments as my H would always have been with us in the past so i had to try & block that out, makes me sad more than anything but I know that's pretty normal. The kids had a fab day & that's the main thing!


Divorce Final: Oct 2014

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I am glad you enjoydd ghe beach. (((Upwards)))


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
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Originally Posted By: Upwards
need to remember that next time i'm struggling, it was nothing to do with not being detached enough!


I recommend going back and reading your threads as you progress. Sometimes you feel like you are sitting still, but when you go back and read your story from another time's perspective, the ways you have changed and grown jump out at you. I still re-read my bootcamp thread occassionally and I'm shocked at the difference....not in just what I say, but how I feel.

Keep your head up wink


M:44 W:42
M:15
S:19, D:16, S:14, D:12, S:6
BD: 2/14/11
D Final: 6/25/13
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Yes I should read back more when I'm feeling down, will probably help me get things into perspective too.

Feeling quite sad tonight, feel a great sense of loss of the family unit, I haven't felt that for many weeks. Maybe that's because I've been so overwhelmed with H's actions & affair, I feel like I've progressed a little with that recently (its been on my mind a lot) so maybe that's why the sadness relating the the family is back.

I'm also finding detachment strange, I don't like it in a lot of ways, suppose it's a very different & new feeling - I know it needs to be done though & is the only way forward, it's just strange too. I'm torn between relief & sadness!


Divorce Final: Oct 2014

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Ok my H's love languages are "Acts Of Service" and Words of Affirmation" - the words one is easy enough but the "Acts Of Service" is a little more difficult & I think this is his main LL as this is how he's always shown me his love - any ideas on how to do this whilst separated?

We work together (joint business) sometimes so I do bits there but the rest of the time this is difficult, especially when I'm trying to back off & let him take responsibility for things.


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I've had such a lovely couple of weeks with the kids & we've had so much fun! It's really affected my personal GAL stuff though so I'm looking forward to getting some "me time" this week smile

I've been trying to find some new/different 180s to add too but struggling, any ideas?!


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The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen - Ralph Marston.

I know we've not necessarily chosen how we got here but we can choose where we go from here!


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Amen to that. The path upwards may not be in a straight line (it may look like a stock market graph with some dips here and there), but we are definitely moving upwards, right?!?

P.s. how do you know your husband's love language? Just based on experience or had you and he discussed that in the past?


Me 38 H 40
D 3
T 8 M 6
BD 10/2013

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^^ Claire, if you read the book (5 LL), you should be able to determine his LL. It usually is fairly obvious. It's a short book, only took me a couple hours to get through.


Me: 39
H: 45
Second marriage for both
H left 12/2013
M:4 T:5.5
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