Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 10 11
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
I'd say no. Not while he's still living with/actively involved with OW. If he pursues you while he's still with her, it's "cake-eating."


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
Originally Posted By: twinmom
This morning I said I was sorry if I came across as harsh in my text I didn't mean to I just wanted to let him know that I was fine with whatever amount and didn't need him to justify the amount



Oh good lord. Where's that "Homer Simpson facepalm" emoticon???


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
Originally Posted By: Train
Girl! Why did you apologize for "being harsh" to the man who has abandoned you - PREGNANT - and your minor children for OW?!??

You kiddin' me?!?



Twinmom,

I'm going to say something blunt to you, but I hope you will really think about. And that is this:


Your husband will begin respecting you when you begin respecting yourself, consistently.
And no sooner.


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
T
twinmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
Ok two things..... first I am thinking about sending a text to his parents and brothers saying "Easter dinner at 3:30, everyone invited. Trying to keep some kind of tradition/structure for the kids. I want them to grow up with involved family (and I like you guys too ;-) "
Yes, I ALWAYS host holidays and enjoy every second of it. And I did invite my aunt/uncle/cousin so if his family doesn't show the kids still will be enjoying the day with family.

H sent a text asking me to call him when I had a chance, he is supposed to be picking up the kids after work today so I called to make sure the plan hasn't changed. He just wanted to discuss Easter. He asked what I wanted and seemed very nervous/kept telling me it's whatever I want. I told him my plans and said your welcome to spend any part of the day as I just want what's best for the kids. He said he had planned on being here in the morning and just wanted and just wanted to do whatever I wanted. If I would like him to take the twins so I could cook he would take them for whatever time
I said let me think about that and let you know.

He just forwarded a picture of his new niece born this morning. I sent his brother a text saying congrats.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 951
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 951
please stop assigning emotions to him...

You have no way of knowing how he is feeling and it isn't any of your business now

I would not invite his entire family to your house...it is a lot of stress to fake a family in front of family.

stop pursuing him
stop giving him all the power

he abandoned you...stop making excuses for him

he is not the good guy

Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
T
twinmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
He called on his way to get the kids (I answered to make sure he was still getting them and plans hadn't changed) he said he was on his way and then started talking about work. I quickly said one of the kids names like they were doing something they shouldn't be and told him "I have to let you go"

He gets there and I fill him in on the nightmares d2 has been having and the 321 "discipline" I have implemented with her when she is defiant. He starts talking about his basketball game that evening and I quickly changed the subject to how busy I was that evening and walked out of the room saying I had to get the couch back together (I took the cushions off and washed them) he asked why I couldn't just do it tomorrow and I responded that I didn't want anyone to see the living room like this. He said "oh your having company here" and I just ignored him, and picked up one of the twins and started to carry them out to the car.
He asked if I had any shopping (coupon weirdo here) to do and what the deal was. I just said lots and random stuff....... buckled D2 into the car and kissed them both as he was talking about taking them to the park.... said bye to the kids and walked inside.

That was hard to not fully engage in conversation with him!


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
T
twinmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
Train, I can't find that book referenced at the library, Barnes and noble or BAM (books a million)

Going to try Amazon, but I hate waiting for shipping. I should really splurge and upgrade to Prime membership......

His mom called me today and during our conversation she asked if I was still fighting for our marriage. Knowing everything I said **could** get back to H I was careful about my words.
I said he is not the man I thought I married and I have no desire to fight for a man who is selfish enough to walk out on his pregnant wife and toddlers.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
T
twinmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
Ok so today I ignored a pic of his niece he sent, a text asking if I knew of any deals on white t shirts.....

I had previously told him we would be coloring eggs at 6:30 tonight and this is the first year the twins will be participating. I said if he wants to join us he is more than welcome. He never showed, the kids had an AWESOME time and he sends a text at 9:30 asking how egg coloring went and what time egg hunting is tomorrow morning...
I didn't respond, ummmmmm if you wanted to know how it went you would have been here enjoying it instead of being with ow. And the Easter bunny comes over night so whenever the kids get up is when we will hunt for eggs, grrrrrrr he knows this!!! I am NOT waiting for him in the morning. I will take lots of pictures and he can feel guilty if he misses it.

And about 5 min ago I get a text asking if I have any migraine meds left here because he has a HORRIBLE migraine....... not responding as its late and my excuse is I am sleeping! Ow can go to Walgreens for him and get him something.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
T
twinmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
So I was talking to a close friend today and she brought up the first time I introduced H to her. It was her birthday and a large group of friends (including husbands) went to a nice restaurant at a casino boat. She said a few of my friends wanted to know what the heck was wrong with me that night, that I wasn't like myself at all. And one of my friends even joked asking if everyone thought H had drugged me.

I used to be very outspoken, opinionated and a "good time" kinda girl. I guess since I met H I turned into the stereotypical 1950's housewife....


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 335
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 335
WOW! I am so sorry that your H is being so selfish. I suppose that he blames you for everything. You are in same boat as me detaching, 180s, and GAL. I have found all of it quite hard. I doubt that H would try this hard if I went into MLC - he would have fled at one week. So why am I so into saving the marriage? I must be nuts!

Page 3 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 10 11

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard