Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 13 1 2 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
No experience with the legal aspect just the emotional one and it [censored]. I try and pretend that she has no interaction with my kids, even though I know she does. Extra prayers for you and your kids!


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
T
Train Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
Well, for TODAY, it looks like H and OW are not moving in together. He has his own place. I'm not sure about her. I still think they have something up their sleeve, but I asked H today point-blank if they were moving in together and how he planned to keep our kids separate from her if they are. He said they're not moving in together now and sent a text saying: "Lol. Remember, I'm still legally married."

I had about 15 epic comebacks for that - I'm sure y'all do, too - but I just didn't respond.

It didn't deserve a response.

Back to the surf and sand. I will NOT let him ruin my time here. Came dang close today. But no cigar.


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810

Attagirl. cool


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
T
Train Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
I. needed. that. today, Starsky. Very much. Thank you.


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
We're not supposed to put links on here, so SUE me, but I think you'll like this. It reminded me of you, Train:

You're an Overcomer


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
T
Train Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
Starsky, I'm sitting in a hot tub, with a glass of wine. I checked in and listened to that link. And I'm gonna blame that tear on a bubble splashing up on my face ... or on the wine.

Thank you so much, dear friend. You are sincerely a godsend. Thank you.


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 221
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 221
Oh boy. I step away for a few (more?) days and BLAM! Lots going on!

There's waaaayyy too much to respond to directly, and it looks like Starsky and others have had you covered.

Please remember that you H is walking into YOUR safe ground. YOU have been a faithful and responsible wife. You have no reason- NONE AT ALL- to keep your head anything but high. Since your H is coming down (I'm sure OW is thrilled about that), take advantage and go out without him while he sits with the kids at night. He should know, if he does not already, that you will be just fine without him. The question is, do you realize that yet too?

I have read the increased anguish in your "voice" (at least the one I use in my head when I read your posts) and I can tell you are at your limit. Part of going dark is to preserve what feelings you have left for your H. By keeping contact, your "love bank" balance is dropping fast. You will find yourself left with only contempt if you don't protect yourself from contact with him.... We'll see how the weekend unfolds.

I'm sorry that your vacation has been tainted this way. I know its no comfort right now, but your H will come to regret this one day. I'm in the Charlotte area frequently for work- I'd love to visit this OWs grocery store to see what she looks like - I'm sure she's a mess smile. Hang in there!

HS

Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
T
Train Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
Hey, HS! I am so happy to hear from you!

take advantage and go out without him while he sits with the kids at night.
Yes! That's actually the plan. I told him that him being here would give me some "me" time after being with the kids all week. I'll likely go to the condo bar for karaoke again Saturday night while he's hanging with the kids. smile

He should know, if he does not already, that you will be just fine without him. The question is, do you realize that yet too?
I think I realize that I will be fine, emotionally, one day. I'm not quite there yet. Finding out yesterday that even a friend's boss knows about the A - and he was openly talking to her about it yesterday - sent me into a temporary tailspin. I'm humiliated, though I know I shouldn't be. There's a part of me that wants to write a blog post, or a Facebook post, and just tell everybody I know - and then some people - about the A and how I'm separated from my H. I mean, it IS shocking people to see him hanging out with OW in public ... in my town. It's so disrespectful. But I digress ...

I know I'll be fine emotionally.

Financially? That's the one that's getting me right now ...

Part of going dark is to preserve what feelings you have left for your H.
I know this sounds awful - and it flies in the face of the entire reason for being here - but there's part of me that's doing this on purpose, HS. I don't WANT to care for him, or love him, anymore. It hurts too bad.

I know its no comfort right now, but your H will come to regret this one day.
People keep telling me this, and I want to believe it. At the same time, I know he probably won't feel that regret until I've moved past WANTING him to, if that makes sense.

I'm in the Charlotte area frequently for work- I'd love to visit this OWs grocery store to see what she looks like - I'm sure she's a mess
Are you ever in the Lake Norman area? If you're ever headed this way for work, you let me know when, and we'll figure out a way to meet up in the parking lot! Then I'll treat you to coffee! laugh


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
Train,

When you see H, be sure to have on one of your prettier Spring/Summer dresses and nice pair of shoes/sandals. Give him a taste of what he's missing! Then walk away without a backward glance. That'll give him something to think about.

Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
T
Train Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
Know what, Wonka? I didn't even bring one of those. You just gave me a reason to go shopping before Saturday!

I adore you guys.


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Page 9 of 13 1 2 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard