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Joined: Nov 2013
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Huge backslide.

I'm beginning to wonder if there is a point in me trying to save this. We weren't even married.

She's so sick and troubled.


Me-35 Com law-28
S-3
T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu
1st bu- 2/2012
Rec-4/2013
2nd bu-10/2013
IC-2 yrs(anger issues)
MC- 5 mnths-fail
OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14
New OM ~10/4/14
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
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Haven't updated in a while....

Crazy pain the last couple of weeks. I unfriended her today which turned out disastrous. I just wanted to tell her why I did and I stated it in a very warm and caring way, but that quickly engaged her defense mode. She bawled and blamed and went on tangent after tangent.

I found out she loves new guy already. They've only been dating a few weeks!!! They have known each other since they were teenagers but have had long periods of no talking. I dont ever recall them talking during our 4 and a half year relationship. The feelings I get from this guy are disgust, pity and I'm actually embarrassed for the way this guy talks to my ex on fb. I've actually lost a lot of respect for her for choosing this guy in the manner she did. I not jealous of this guy. I'm disappointed though. My ex really seems to have had her brain and personality swapped out. Very sad to see.

I've been very dark for the past week although she makes it out like she's giving me space. Our disastrous conversation this morning clearly indicates she has major major family issues. Her thought process is severely out of wack. During the week she did text me from time to time with smileys and fun stuff. I kept it casual and cold by my standards. She called me one day and talked some more about her family issues. I really hope she gets it that it's her own doing. Her mom called her out on it and my ex's response was that people make her feel the way she does. I don't understand how not one counselor she's seen has pointed this out to her.

Here's my dilemma. I'm working very hard to not be angry with her. I just don't know how to act around her anymore. I'm trying to find a balance of being happy and not give a crap. I know she's ill so I have compassion. I know she lied to me and disrespected me so I feel angry. Also, the way we ended this morning doesn't make things any easier. I'm dropping s3 off with her tonight so I'm assuming it will be a quick exchange. I need more space from her I think.


Me-35 Com law-28
S-3
T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu
1st bu- 2/2012
Rec-4/2013
2nd bu-10/2013
IC-2 yrs(anger issues)
MC- 5 mnths-fail
OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14
New OM ~10/4/14
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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So why did you unfriend her?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
MrBond #2449489 05/01/14 12:25 AM
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Originally Posted By: MrBond
So why did you unfriend her?


I'll answer why I left her as a friend first. I didnt really care that I was fb friends with her. Nothing she posted upset me and it was just another way she could see what I was doing with s3.

I unfriended her because of the recent stuff she was posting. Lovey dovey posts by other dude and her posting she loves him too and all sorts of other hurtful things. I tried to battle through it for a week but decided I had enough self inflicting pain.

Maybe I should've not said anything but I thought it wouldn't hurt to tell her in person in a calm respectful way. I was wrong obviously, it touched a soft spot and then she went into her many tangents and blame shifting.

Surprisingly she called me from work and seemed to have calmed down a lot. And I mean a lot. She was friendly and was asking for help with her phone and other random stuff. We even laughed about what s3 has been doing to us lately(he pretends to kiss us then wipes his nose on our face).

I think I'm going to take the high road again and just be myself around her. We'll see...


Me-35 Com law-28
S-3
T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu
1st bu- 2/2012
Rec-4/2013
2nd bu-10/2013
IC-2 yrs(anger issues)
MC- 5 mnths-fail
OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14
New OM ~10/4/14
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
2
Member
OP Offline
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
Damn. I just wrote a bunch of stuff and my phone crashed. Crap.

Bottom line is, tonight I found out more reasons why my ex is crazy. And her new douche is even crazier.

To sum up what I typed earlier....

She was late coming home(said she fell asleep at work). I drop s3 off at her place at 9pm. She invites me up but I say no, she asks again and I say fine. I notice right away a new tv, computer and tv stand. She owes me money. She tells me she didnt buy it. I think to myself this new guy is out of his mind. They've dated for a few weeks. He's professed his undying love to her on fb. Makes me want to puke. In fact I did actually puke from being disgusted. Seriously. Oh rewind a bit, she asked me to bring her a drink and chips. I'm dumb and bring it to her. I also buy a bag of sour candies for her. She says I didn't have to do that, I tell her I didn't have to bring her drinks or chips either. I'm dumb. She asks why I'm being b*tchy. I tell her I'm not. She knows ive been dark for the last 2 weeks. She says "fine, I don't want to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk to me". Geez. I simply tell her I can't talk to her. I mentioned that whatever I say ends up in a emotional conversation and I'm done making her cry. I was just being super über calm and not my goofy normal self. She perceives what she wants. She pours me wine now. I drink it. I get another glass. Drink that too. It's now been 2 hours!!! I was supposed to leave in 5 minutes. She duped me into staying and talking for her own benefit.

All I can say is that it took everything I had not to say how disgusted and embarrassed I am for her. She's a shell of her true self. She's a loser in my eyes right now. BUT, I know she's sick. If her true self would emerge she would smack this imposter upside the head!! Where did my girl go?!?!


Me-35 Com law-28
S-3
T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu
1st bu- 2/2012
Rec-4/2013
2nd bu-10/2013
IC-2 yrs(anger issues)
MC- 5 mnths-fail
OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14
New OM ~10/4/14
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
2
Member
OP Offline
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
I guess I wasn't duped, i couldve not gone up in the first place. I'm just a sucker. But the fact she offered wine... I can't resist wine. I was duped.


Me-35 Com law-28
S-3
T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu
1st bu- 2/2012
Rec-4/2013
2nd bu-10/2013
IC-2 yrs(anger issues)
MC- 5 mnths-fail
OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14
New OM ~10/4/14
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
2
Member
OP Offline
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
So Sunday I had a really long errand to run. About 8 hours of driving. My ex had our son but wanted to hang out at my place til I got home. She texted me while I was on my way home. Asked when I'd return because she was making dinner. Weird. I told her half an hour. I get home and she's in my bathrobe and I could tell she had a shower. She's making dinner and I make small talk. I'm trying my best to remain neutral. We eat dinner and she shows me stuff on her phone and talks about her mom. I validate. She tries to make jokes and acts sweet but I think I did a good job of just being neutral. She asked about an email I said I would send her. I told her I wasn't ready to send it yet. I'm still trying to figure out how and what to say to her. She has another shower then as she's about to leave she asks me in the sweetest voice "if you need anything just ask". Wtf!!?!? I'm the one with the vehicle. Like she's gonna take a bus to get whatever it is I need. Weird.

Then today I get odd texts and pic texts and a text with her singing lullabies to my son from a few nights ago. What is this girl thinking?! I can only assume she feels me slipping away and is trying to grasp on. But who really knows, I know she doesn't have a clue what she's doing.

I seriously think she's in a mlc with some personalities disorders mixed in. Somehow I still believe my girl is in there somewhere.


Me-35 Com law-28
S-3
T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu
1st bu- 2/2012
Rec-4/2013
2nd bu-10/2013
IC-2 yrs(anger issues)
MC- 5 mnths-fail
OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14
New OM ~10/4/14
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
2
Member
OP Offline
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
My ex is off her rocker or I am.

She texted me at 7pm today saying she has the day off Friday and wants to take s3 to the park with loser boy. Seriously, this guy is a tool. I'm not jealous, I'm embarrassed for her. I have no respect for her. She asked me if I'm ok with it?!? After 3 weeks of dating?!,! I don't care that they've known each other since teenage years. They have "known" each other for that long. The whole time she was with me there was no mention of him. I didnt tespond to her text. She texted again a few hours later saying she wasn't sure how to take it. Either I was pondering or busy. In reality I was trying to figure out a way to tell her that she's crazy without sounding offensive. I simply replied I'm mulling it over. Then she texts "would you prefer to meet him first?". Are you kidding me!!!!! There's no way in hell I'm gonna meet this clown.

This girl is crazy. Showers and wears my bathrobe at my place. Makes me dinner. Sends me a file of her singing. Asking if I'm ok. If I was om I'd be pissed at her behavior. I seriously lost all respect for her. BUT she's sick. Ya I know I keep giving her that free pass.

I don't know what to say. I can only ignore her for so long.


Me-35 Com law-28
S-3
T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu
1st bu- 2/2012
Rec-4/2013
2nd bu-10/2013
IC-2 yrs(anger issues)
MC- 5 mnths-fail
OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14
New OM ~10/4/14
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
2
Member
OP Offline
Member
2
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
I keep saying I know how crazy my ex is. Well now I know for sure. Haha. She claims that she's going to marry this guy and that's why she justifies my son being introduced to him after only 3 weeks. Wtf!!

She's in such a fog again that anything I say comes across as something negative or emotional or dramatic. I'm getting off this roller coaster. I simply told her to do what she thinks is best for s3 and she knows how I feel about doucheface meeting s3 so early and we had an agreement that she wrote up. She says "what agreement?". Ok whatever, she can't remember. She asks why I'm being so dramatic? My gosh, I don't think I could've come across any more neutral that what I wrote in my text to her.

It's been 3 weeks and already they are the loves of each others lives, he bought her a big screen, laptop and tv stand AND a car! Well, the car is a pos that he bought for himself but she gets to drive it whenever she wants. They are both seriously unbalanced and I'm officially done. Kinda... If my ex, the woman I fell in love with emerges from this crazy person ill rethink it.

I think I'm getting to the point where I see her behavior and just think.... That is some seriously interesting sh*t. I just gotta get rid of the part that is worried about her mental being.

I'm going dark... As dark as possible anyway. I've been really dim the past couple of weeks and she keeps trying to reach out. I'm not gonna fall for this crap. I'm still trying to be kind, caring and compassionate but it takes a lot of will power to not call her crazy.


Me-35 Com law-28
S-3
T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu
1st bu- 2/2012
Rec-4/2013
2nd bu-10/2013
IC-2 yrs(anger issues)
MC- 5 mnths-fail
OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14
New OM ~10/4/14
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
2
Member
OP Offline
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
I gotta make it through today. The thought of my son going out to the park with ob(other boy) is breaking my heart. Family fun days were our thing. The fact that my ex does not respect my feelings in this matter disgust me.

The thing that's keeping my head on straight is that I think I know that relationships that move this fast end just as fast. Or at least relationships involving 2 unstable people blow up. I really hope this blows up in her face and she hits rock bottom to get the help she desperately needs. This might be the crisis she needs to face in life to finally look within for happiness and not external sources. Talking about marriage already?!??? That justifies introducing my son to this kid?!?! Seriously?!?!? Just crazy!!!

We'll see how today goes.


Me-35 Com law-28
S-3
T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu
1st bu- 2/2012
Rec-4/2013
2nd bu-10/2013
IC-2 yrs(anger issues)
MC- 5 mnths-fail
OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14
New OM ~10/4/14
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