snap back to reality.....

[Starsky309]

I would've just responded "Don't worry about us, we'll be fine," and kept it at that. Try to keep your communications with him in the middle, "cordial/civil" range, and not either in the "BFF" or the "passive-aggressive" extremes.


Starsky

[twinmom]

I guess I was too harsh because he didn't contact me all day (which isn't like him) I guess that's good but it was really hard for me.

[Georgiabelle]

Starsky is spot on. Keep them short, simple and cordial. You owe no further explanation as to discussing or not discussing.

[twinmom]

I guess I just ment too harsh because it caused a major shift in his behavior. And he seemed colder/more distant this morning when he stopped by to pick up white sox tickets for his dad (boooooo sox, go cubs!)

[Starsky309]

I guess I just ment too harsh because it caused a major shift in his behavior. And he seemed colder/more distant this morning when he stopped by to pick up white sox tickets for his dad (boooooo sox, go cubs!)

Mind-reading. His mood may have absolutely nothing to do with you.

[twinmom]

So overwhelmed with the kids and everything today. Right now I am so ANGRY with him. Instead of calling him and screaming I will let it out here..... 4 kids, the twins were "terrible two" today and the older boys would not stop with over the top rough housing/tormenting each other/just driving me insane.

I am so ANGRY that I am here dealing with this alone while he is off enjoying HER! I now have all the cooking/cleaning/laundry responsibility with zero adult conversation in the evening to decompress.

Our 2yr old daughter who had a speech delay and limited vocabulary walks around the house saying "daddy bye bye".
How can he hurt the kids like this? What a selfish #!@$

[twinmom]

This morning I said I was sorry if I came across as harsh in my text I didn't mean to I just wanted to let him know that I was fine with whatever amount and didn't need him to justify the amount

[twinmom]

Oh and he resumed his typical behavior this afternoon. Asking about a Dr appointment that I had already told him the day/time and asking if I had gotten an email he had sent two days ago (that didn't need a reply) I waited till I put the kids to bed and answered all questions.

[Train]

Girl! Why did you apologize for "being harsh" to the man who has abandoned you - PREGNANT - and your minor children for OW?!??

You kiddin' me?!?

Read at least the first post in this thread; it talks of MLCers, but it applies to relationships in crisis, in general. OF COURSE he's going to be back to his old tricks now:

Understanding Pursuit and Distance

[twinmom]

Thanks, I read that and will be checking the book out from the library today. I don't do anything for him (laundry/sex/etc) and never call just to talk or anything like that.

I guess my confusion is don't I **want** him to pursue me? For him to call/text me? Isn't that what would show he hasn't completely let go of our relationship?

I swear sometimes I am just too involved to see what's going on. Kinda like seeing the trees through the forest analogy.