So wonderful day with H yesterday, had to constantly remind myself that the day I was experiencing wasn't really my life anymore.... that he goes home to her.
Today was about the same, he came over after I got home from church and we got them ready for their party. They had a wonderful party at a train themed restaurant. Then went to the niece's party which was EXHAUSTING they held it at a club house at an.apartment complex. The area was upstairs and there was no gate on the stairs with about 15 kids between the ages of 1 and 4 there... needless to say we were always running around trying to keep kids away from the stairs.
H talked to me as he normally would have just no kissing/holding hands/touching. Can't home and H brought in all the gifts, put the twins in the bath and went outside to pull garbage can in from the street. He cleaned the tub (as bath time was cut short by someone popping in the tub)
He said he didn't feel good from all the junk he ate and I made a joke about him putting pressure on my back. (He totally knew I was joking by tone of voice, Mr trekking him and smile) he offered to anyway but I said no, you don't feel good. Go ahead and go so you can relax.
It's days like this that are the hardest after their over when I remember that's not my life anymore
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
I guess I don't see what is pursuing? I don't call, don't text and don't ask for him to stay/come over. Everything is on his terms.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
Maybe it's just me. As a man, I would feel pursued by the interactions you described above. Or at a minimum, i would feel "Yeah, ol' Twin is still there waiting for me."
He needs to feel he's LOSING you before he's ever going to change, in my opinion. I think he has very little fear of that.
He needs to feel he's LOSING you before he's ever going to change, in my opinion. I think he has very little fear of that.
Yyyyyyyep. And it's gonna take a spine of steel, twinmom.
You CAN do it. It's easier without interactions like that which happened this weekend. That brief "euphoria" of hanging with your H will be followed by a sinking, disgusting feeling for DAYS. I'm not suggesting you shouldn't have spent the twins' birthday together as a family. Just know that after an interaction like that, he's going to go back to OW - at least for now - and you're going to be pining at home for him. Alone. This has helped me keep my expectations in check.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
Ok, need to make myself accountable for things on a daily basis. Almost like a child with a reward system. So far today I have ignored 5 texts. One commenting on a bank email I forwarded at 3am and commenting with a frown face that I was up at 3am. One asking if I wanted him to take the boys to school (I had told him 2 weeks ago no more of that and have ignored last week's text and now today's) he then asked how the twins were feeling after a lot of junk food yesterday. Then asked if the restaurant we had the twins party at charged us the deposit, then he must have looked at the bank account because he texted me the answer to his own question..... That was a little after lunch and have not heard from him since
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
Add two more stars for another text and a phone call ignored. Yep, I think I need to hold myself accountable.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
I asked about $$ this morning (he was supposed to transfer from one account to another) he replied and then went into more detail than I wanted. I said I wasn't looking for a discussion just an answer. He told me to be careful driving as we got snow last night and the roads are icy. He then went into further explanation of the $$$ thing and asked when my next dr appointment was. I responded that again didn't care about the amount of $ and didn't want a discussion and to have a nice day. He hasn't text me since.
Was I too harsh/cold? It's actually driving me more crazy now that he isn't texting. Grrrrrrrr I hate this situation!
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
