I think I should be posting in this group but there are so many good threads.
Past: Discovered H "A" w/OW in May 2012. He did not end the A immediately. It was 8 months before H completely ended the A w/OW. By this time, I was well into GAL and stronger than ever. I paid off some financial debt, opened a separate bank account and started me an emergency fund. Making sure I was prepared for any outcome.
Present: Both H and I have done many things right w/renewing our R but we have also done some stupid things as well. He recently backslid with text messages to OW. We discussed the conversations. I know that I cannot control who another person talks or texts however I have made it clear to H that any contact w/OW is a deal breaker for me. I will no longer accept that type of behavior in my life.
Future: We celebrated our 17 year anniversary on Friday. H made some recommitment statements. It's nice but actions speak so much louder than words so I always look for the action to back up the words.
It might be helpful for you to post a link to your prior threads, so people can get a background on your sitch. It helps when giving advice.
fyi, the Piecing forum doesn't get near the traffic that the Newcomers does, or even the Infidelity forum. I'll leave it up to you to post (or link) whatever you feel comfortable with, as it's your thread, but I'm not sure that Piecing would be the most appropriate place for you right now considering your husband's recent behavior.
Did you and your H talk about attending C? The thing is that the vast majority of M who do end up in Piecing, end up falling apart if there is no follow up counseling involved.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Yeah, you are right! Considering H's recent behavior, I'm not sure where I belong either. Should it be harmless as he says? Why does he thinks his actions were harmless? So, I guess I'm in limbo until there's some consistency in his behavior.
MrBond, H actually brought up C. He doesn't want to see the last one we had sessions with. He felt she was coaxing me to leave him. I felt like she was encouraging me to GAL. She was pro-marriage with few tolerances and thought I was doing well under the circumstances. Anyway, guess who is tasked with finding a new one that our insurance will pay the 1st 3 sessions in full.
??? H says I'm often withdrawn and it feels like he is losing me. That it appears our R is not a priority to me anymore. Example, I was willing to end all over a few text messages. Nonetheless, I am standing firm.
Does the WAS interpret DB'ing as the LBS giving up on the R?
I consider it to be harmful to me. When this occurred, I felt betrayed all over again.
H previously agreed to no contact with OW which he recently broke. He has since agreed to no further contact w/OW and I have now stated the consequences of our M should contact w/OW reoccur.
