2 Months In And Feeling So Broken

[HollyAnn]

Has anyone heard the song "Say Soemthing, I'm Giving Up On You?" By Gret Big World - http://bit.ly/1kDMvDj

I can't even listen to it. It kills me...I would have followed H anywhere...

Yeah. So many "love songs" really p!ss me off; lyrics so needy and clingy. "I'm nothing without you..." "I can't live without you".... "My life is over"...

Blech! Very destructive bs in most "love songs."

When I first came to this board, a very lame, sucky song, "Stay" by Sugarland was popular. For some odd reason, it resonated with so many women on this board. Really? I mean, seriously??? I would just throw up in my mouth a little.

[lovethehub]

I think your goals are good, small ones and big long term ones. Remember, it will take a while and being detached is the best thing you can do. Don't reach out and start conversations but when H starts them, be friendly took back but end the interaction a lot sooner than you would if you were together. H seeing you let go and 'move on' relieves the pressure and allows him to see you in a different light, especially when you start GALing.

[HollyAnn]

Well - I blew it all up last night! Ka-boom!

I'd had enough and we talked and then yelled and I told him he can't be here. He can't sleep here 1/2 the week. If he wants to be divorced, that he can go away full time and see how he likes being a part time dad. He was mad but held back. Not me.

He confirmed he has nothing left to give and that he doesn;t want to try. Cue the crying and angry words.

I can't believe how he changed. I would have been willing to bet on my life 3 months ago that we would never be in this situation. He's like a stranger. I feel like I;ve never known him.

Still no books yet. By the time they get here, I will have imploded. (Maybe I already have).

I never knew I could feel this low.

I wouldn't worry too much about this. While I wouldn't do it again any time soon, at least you got in a couple of good Truth Darts.

I wish exh and I had had at least one blowup during the split. I was so hurt, I simply withdrew and detached immediately. No crying, begging from me. It helped a lot though. And I think my passivity during that time kinda shocked him.

And he finally did come back, three years later. So, yeah, this really IS a marathon, not a sprint.

[Wonka]

HollyAnn,

And he finally did come back, three years later.

Are you back with your XH? I thought he was just XH. Aren't you now piecing? I am a bit confused here.

[HollyAnn]

Long and winding road.

We actually got a D and I moved away for a new job; new life, started dating a bit. He married ow. That lasted a mere 18 months. He called me out of the blue one day; felt such guilt and shame for all the damage.

He D'd ow and we have been dating; taking things really slow.

[JennD]

Thanks Holly - Truth darts! Exactly what they were - not that he heard them that way!

[JennD]

I'm having a hard time GALing. I have the kids most of the time. I run my own business from home (in the wedding industry, go figure!). And I don't have alot of friends, if I;m being honest.

H has agreed to be here Mon and Wed nighs so I can go to my running clinics and then alternating Fri-Sun to be with the kids.

I'm going to try and find some things to do on the alternating weekend but finding it hard to come up with ideas.

[HollyAnn]

Do anything on the weekend; take yourself out for lunch or to a movie.
Hang out at a bookstore; get an espresso.
See if there are any Meet-Up groups in your area.

[JennD]

I've looked on Meetup - there is a group that sounds interesting for women who are newly seperated or divorced but it runs the same night as one of my running clinics...

Maybe hot yoga...I've wanted to try that. Or meditation classes...

Thanks for the suggestions HollyAnn - starting to think on the right path...

[JennD]

Feeling better today. Had IC today. Its amazing how I feel so much better when I meet with my C...able to cope some much better.

Stopped at a spa to get my eyebrows shaped on my way home from IC. Good bye unibrow that's been building since BD.

H was home here tonight for his time with the kids in evening. So I went for a hot stone massage. So nice to have some "self-care" as my C would call it. Didn't tell H my plans for massage.

GAL is good. Looking forward to more!