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In a strange twist of events, H dropped by unexpectedly tonight. He came by with the tax return papers as well as a check for half the amount of the property tax overpayment. He had the refund deposited into our join marital saving account which I thought was defunct. So that helps out my tight spot with finances for now.

H was livid. He made some speech about how he tries and do the right thing for me and every time he does I screw him. Really? He says anyone else in his shoes would tell me to get f*cked. Nice. Do you kiss your girlfriend with that mouth?

H has now decided that he is going to take his entire week with the kid's. I knew if we filed contempt charges he would do this. I asked him if there was a time that I could have the kid's? S told H he thinks it is only fair for ms to have them at least one night. H said we will have to work it out. Ha! I know what that means. If I give him what he wants I will give me what I want. Maybe.

My attorney tells me our parenting agreement states neither later shall have more than 7 days without the other parent having an overnight. So I think I will leave that up to him.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
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WH,

'Whaddya mean, H? You mean that if WH doesn't roll over and do your bidding in the D process, then she's a b!tch??! Tough chit! This is what happens when you try to hide money from your own kids who are barely getting by. Is this the thanks you give them after checking out??!'

'Why don't you hit the road, Mr. Beret Head!'

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Lmao! I wouldn't have been able to say that even if I wanted to, Wonka. I was seriously too busy trying not to laugh. He was so ridiculous. Yes. If I roll over and let him do what he wants then he is happy. He is just incredulous about how rotten and vindictive I have been. He is so utterly disappointed in me. You wanna talk disappointed?? Let's roll....

I think it is funny how my lawyer calls contempt and H comes running to do "the right thing". Of course H wasnt supposed to file the taxes without my review and signature. But that's H. He filed them last week. The funds are available now. I hope I don't ever have to file with him again!!!

As far as the kid's it svcks I won't see them. But I am putting my lawyer to the task on that. S isn't happy about not seeing me for that long. D doesn't get it. There aren't many activities for the kid's next week. And no school. No excuses for me to see them.

H told me he is having Easter dinner for OW and her kid's and her parents and of course our kid's. That is quite a houseful. Of course knowing H he will move her parents in too if he can get access to their money.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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WH,

How is it that he dropped by unexpectedly? I would nip that in the bud. "Please call first."

Last thing you need is to start feeling nervous in your own home about him "dropping by." That's your sanctuary. No A$$holes Allowed. Maybe put out a sign saying this on the front door?


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Hey Heather

No, I did not like him showing up at my house unannounced. But the kids were there and I didn't want to make a scene. He asked if we could talk for a few minutes and I said for a few minutes. I don't have time for a long conversation. He basically said his peace, handed me the paperwork, told me he had the kids all next week and left. I really feel like he is becoming more and more unhinged.

H and I are to meet at my attorney's office for a settlement hearing on Friday. H was demanding my attorney meet us at the library in our hometown so H didn't have to drive. I don't think so. He wants me to pay my attorney to drive back and forth from our town back to his office? That's over 60 miles. H can get bent. He can drive to my attorney's office and get someone to watch the kids. Loser.

H is also demanding to my attorney that he cannot have his paralegal present. Really? Why? H is making all these demands to my attorney. Who exactly does he think he is? I am his client, hello! H even said if he doesn't like where the meeting is going he will leave and all negotiations will be off the table.

And H has so much conviction in what he says. I think he believes his lies to be the truth! How else can you explain it? He convinces himself that his own lies are not lies and if he believes the lies then it is the truth and therefore he is not lying! (Are you picking up what I am laying down?).

I am really starting to think something is really wrong inside H. It doesn't change anything, but it is starting to really worry me. He just doesn't function like a normal person and it is getting more and more apparent.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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WH,
Your h is realizing that he is losing or should I say lost control of the situation. The proper place to hold the hearing is in your lawyer's office, since your h doesn't have a lawyer. A for the paralegal present, there is a reason for this because not only is that person there to assist w/copying, etc., but as a witness to all negotiations/talks. This is very normal, nothing shady about the paralegal's presence there at all.

As for popping in unexpectedly, you will need to set some boundaries and have him call before he comes over, kids being there or not. This is now your home and I don't think he'd want you popping over there w/o notice, especially after all the negotiations and divorce takes place.

Yes, your h believes what he's saying. If he didn't, he'd realize just what a fool he is. He's still trying to maintain some control over the situation and yes, manipulate you as well. Soon, all of that will be behind you and your h will no longer be able to call any shots except at the local bar if he should go there.

Go to the hearing, but keep your business hat on and leave your emotions at the door. Yes, your h is desperate and the closer it gets to the time, the more he'll say crazy stuff. Tune him out as much as you can. Your lawyer's got this and he knows exactly who he is dealing w/and what type of man your h is right now. He's seen it many times over.

Breathe, have faith in your lawyer, you and the man upstairs and stay positive.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Quote:
He just doesn't function like a normal person and it is getting more and more apparent.


This is sadly common in MLC. My ex flat-out didn't remember things he said to me when he was in crisis. Looked at me like I was crazy when I would tell him what he said.

And your H really doesn't quite know how he landed in this pickle. He was supposed to float off on a pink cloud with OW in a zipless divorce. He wasn't supposed to have to deal with any messy financial realities, or kid issues, or any of that. So all HE knows is that he woke up one day in a pile of doo-doo.

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Quote:
If he didn't, he'd realize just what a fool he is.
Or at least admit it. smile

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
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"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Ok - so I messed it, what is he in contempt for? I am glad that you finally have control. I am at beginning, trying to detach and GAL and gain some control.

Amazing how MLC changes them. I think H is at the point where he believes his own lies.

My advice - give him h...l he deserves it! LOL

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It's fear and insecurity that is driving him right now. Think of him like a schoolyard bully. He huffs and puffs to make people do what he wants them to, but gets all flabbergasted when they don't listen to him.

The less "in control" he feels, the more he will act out. You really should just correspond with him via text. Or tell him to send messages to your L and not to you.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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