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So I did it. I found a crapload of stuff to sell. Now I just hope it sells. I found three dresses in D's closet that don't fit her but are practically new! And she has a pair of silver dress shoes and a pair of winter boots that are too small. I am hoping since Easter is right around the corner the dresses and the shoes will go fast. Not so much the boots, but that's okay. She also had some baby toys that looked practically new and she never touches. As long as she doesn't see them she won't miss them. Lol.

S doesn't have any clothes that don't fit, because we cleaned out his closet before I moved and H took all those clothes and gave them to OW's kid's. He does have a sleeping bag I think he doesnt want. I am going to try to talk him into selling his old iPod. I don't think he needs it anymore. I found 10 outfits in my closet and two or three pair of shoes. Plus I went through my jewelry. Omg I didn't realize how much I had. Everything H gave me is getting sold. But I am still kind of hung up on the wedding ring. It's worth some money, but it's not that easy. I am trying to break that emotional attachment. Maybe once a few things sell it will be easier to give it up.

Trying to be positive and upbeat even though the events of the past few days have kind of made me what to go back to bed and stay there. I will prevail and I will find a better way.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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WH,

Dog walking, dog sitting are also good sources of income and you can be flexible with your schedule. How sweet is that? smile Are you able to take on a secretarial job? It doesn't take much to type letters and answer phones.

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IDK about the secretarial thing. I want something under the table and those jobs are usually during the day when I am working.

I'll keep looking. I am not destitute. I still have money in the bank. Enough to get through. I just want a higher comfort threshold.

In the meantime, my attorney is finishing up the contempt paperwork. I am a bit nervous of the lashback from H, but I can't let fear hold me back any longer.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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WH,

You cannot base your future incoming income on H's support amount. It needs to be based on what you and the kids need NOW and in the future. Even if it means you'll get a salaried job that allows for future income increases. That is GOOD for you and your kids. Forget about what X support amount you'll get from H. That should not be how you operate going forward, right?

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Well I still can't do a lot of the part time jobs I am finding because I do have a full time job that comes first. Even a lot of dog walking things are during the day. And I don't want a huge commute because that will eat up any extra money I make. I am not making entire decisions based on support, but I have a lot of options to consider.

I would like something I could do from home. I am still searching for that perfect opportunity. Or near perfect.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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Hi WH.. I feel your struggles, I have been there. I have 4 kids. I was a stay-at-home mother until MLC hit. I went from having it all to SURVIVAL MODE. I had days of despair and days of anger and power.. I NEED TO DO THIS, I CAN DO THIS AND I WILL DO THIS..
One lesson repeated frequently on here is : " live your life as if he will never return " With you relying on his support, what would happen if he passed away tonight?? Not a nice thing to say, (I am sorry) but my ex put me in this state of mind 3 times with suicidal periods.. I HAD TO TAKE MATTERS IN MY OWN HANDS..
\you cannot rely on him nor his money nor his help. He is in lalaland and sees life differently.

YOU AND THE KIDS CAN DO THIS.. Your son could walk dogs.. He could clean driveways, cut grass... It wouldn' t pay bills but what he would bring could buy him a new pair of shoes or even a bike if he is very successful.. My 13yr old at the time did it to help us.. She also babysat neighbours kids. It gave her a self-esteem boost and an independence she loved because :" HER MONEY, HER CHOICE ".

You will find a way, I just know.. HOW I KNOW? Because after all this mess, you guys have risen to every challenges therefor, I believe in you.

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Thank you exquisite.

I don't depend on H's support. I was doing okay but it's just things have come up and I was using extra money to get things for the house and to pay off bills. But right now it seems like it's one thing after another. I come up with a way to pay one bill and another pops up. I mean it's frustrating!

Today I was driving my mom, brother S and D to S's birthday party and again my car starts acting up again!! Arg!!! Engine light on, car is chugging. I was at my wits end. I am hoping I just got some bad gas or something and it's not too serious. I'm gonna get my oil changed tomorrow and have filters changed and see if that helps. H called later tonight and asked a bunch of questions about it. He once again said he would help me diagnose what was wrong with the car. I know how far his promises go so I said no thanks.

I'm still looking. This opportunity needs to be very flexible. And S is good at saving his money. And he is licensed to referee soccer now so there are opportunities for him to make money.

I'm chugging away. I'm not giving up yet.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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Sorry for your bad luck lately. Maybe you have som friends or family that can help you get over the hump. I don't know what I am going to do because my H wants divorce and he is about ready to be fired due his nonsense and I am about to lose my job due to company takeover. We will probably live in car together with kids homeless wanting a divorce...LOL...bad joke.

Just remember some days are bad and some days are good. Continue to GAL and keep the positives in your head and push the negatives out of your head right away.

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Thanks TLD.

I am trying to sell some stuff on Craigslist. It ain't moving. I think it's time to have an online rummage and sell the jewelry to a jewelry store. I have had two hits on Craigslist. One for a $5 toy of D's and the buyer wants me to meet her 60 miles away. I am not driving that far for a $5 sale. I told her if she wanted the toy I would meet her in the city where I work or she would have to come to where I live. The other was for a ring H bought me when I first met. She said she was willing to pay the $150 I asked for. But she wanted to meet at a jeweler to have it verified it was really diamond. I am willing to do this, but I won't drive any farther than the city I work in. She said she understood.

For anyone who doesn't know, Autozone will hook up your vehicle and check the diagnostics for no charge. Most shops charge $40 to $45 for this service. I did not know this but I wish I did. This is great news for people who are clueless about vehicles. After researching my car problem, my brother and I guessed it was a spark plug issue. The people at Autozone who did the diagnostics said the code was a second cylinder misfire most likely caused by a defective spark plug. So if course I know what to fix, but can't get it fixed on Sunday. So I have to go in late to work tomorrow or not at all to get this fixed because I don't feel comfortable driving any great distance while my car is in this condition. Odd thing is when I drive below 30 mph the check engine light stays constant. When I get above 30 mph the light flashes. It's a good observation but I am not sure what it means. I am hoping it will be a quick and easy fix. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I called H asking if he knew of anyone open on Sundays and of course he refers me to the place he one time told me never to go!! Nice huh? He thinks he has me over a barrel because he bought the diagnostic code reader so he could diagnose the cars when the check engine light came on and no thinks it is funny that I have to pay. But what is really funny is that he spent the money on one of those readers when you can take it to Autozone for free.

D and I colored Easter eggs tonight and made rabbits out of construction paper. My mom brought all their Christmas stuff and oddly enough I forgot she bought S a bunch of shorts and other summer clothes. So the thing I needed to get for S is now taken care of. Funny how that happens. Lol.

So S had a great time at the party. His friends did as well. Lots of cake and pizza left over. I asked H if he wanted any and he declined. H did call this morning and wanted to get S a case for his new iPod for Easter but I said he bought one with his birthday money so he may want to consider getting him something else.

Odd thing too. I called H this morning because D needed her winter boots for school tomorrow (this winter just won't die) and he had them. I called before we left for church and H was not out of bed yet. This was the man who was up at the crack of dawn and couldn't wait to get outside to start the day. S tells me on weekends his dad likes to just lay in bed with OW. Gag. Of all the times I asked him to just relax and talk with me and now this? It does tick me off. If he would have treated me with half the courtesy it sounds like he gives OW our marriage could have been a lot more fulfilling. But maybe I am just romanticizing things. Doesn't matter. I just find it odd that is all.

The other evening I went to an after work happy hour. I never get to do those kind of things because I always had to be there for the kids. Now I said heck with it and I went. S even called me and said he didn't think his dad would get him to his game on time and I told him it was his dad's night and his dad needed to be responsible enough to make it happen. I told S I was sorry but I had plans and his dad was gonna have to make it happen. I have never done that before. It felt kind of good. I didn't really feel guilty about it either. It was kind of liberating. And I had a great time and still made it to S's game. I even got to talk to some co-workers and I shared some laughs with two handsome male co-workers who are also divorced. It was nice to feel attractive. Like someone was interested in what I had to say. I felt some the the old pre-H WH come alive again. It was a baby step, but it was in the right direction.

To infinity and beyond.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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Posts: 335
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Wishing hope
Congrats it looks like you took a step forward on GAL over the last few days. Good job making H be a dad again, and step up to the plate. I am glad that you had fun at the work get together. It is always nice to feel attractive, espicially after you have been beat down for so long. Tonight you are my hero, as I am having one of those bad nights, wondering what I am doing to myself. UGH!!!!

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