Colonel (Graham Chapman): get some discipline into those chaps, Sergeant Major! Sargeant (John Cleese, shouting throughout): Right sir! Good evening, class. All (mumbling): Good evening. Sargeant: Where's all the others, then? All: They're not here. Sgt.: I can see that. What's the matter with them? All: Dunno. Chapman (member of class): Perhaps they've got 'flu. Sgt.: Huh! 'Flu, eh? They should eat more fresh fruit. Ha. Right. Now, self-defence. Tonight I shall be carrying on from where we got to last week when I was showing you how to defend yourselves against anyone who attacks you with armed with a piece of fresh fruit. (Grumbles from all) Palin: Oh, you promised you wouldn't do fruit this week. Sgt.: What do you mean? Jones: We've done fruit the last nine weeks. Sgt.: What's wrong with fruit? You think you know it all, eh? Palin: Can't we do something else? Idle (Welsh): Like someone who attacks you with a pointed stick? Sgt.: Pointed stick? Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I'll tell you something my lad. When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me! Now, the passion fruit. When your assailant lunges at you with a passion fruit... All: We done the passion fruit. Sgt.: What? Chapman: We done the passion fruit. Palin: We done oranges, apples, grapefruit... Jones: Whole and segments. Palin: Pomegranates, greengages... Chapman: Grapes, passion fruit... Palin: Lemons... Jones: Plums... Chapman: Mangoes in syrup... Sgt.: How about cherries? All: We did them. Sgt.: Red *and* black? All: Yes! Sgt.: All right, bananas.
(All sigh.)
Sgt.: We haven't done them, have we? Right. Bananas. How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. Now you, come at me with this banana. Catch! Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless. Palin: Suppose he's got a bunch. Sgt.: Shut up. Idle: Suppose he's got a pointed stick. Sgt.: Shut up. Right now you, Mr Apricot. Chapman: 'Arrison. Sgt.: Sorry, Mr. 'Arrison. Come at me with that banana. Hold it like that, that's it. Now attack me with it. Come on! Come on! Come at me! Come at me then! (Shoots him.) Chapman: Aaagh! (dies.) Sgt.: Now, I eat the banana. (Does so.) Palin: You shot him! Jones: He's dead! Idle: He's completely dead! Sgt.: I have now eaten the banana. The deceased, Mr Apricot, is now 'elpless. Palin: You shot him. You shot him dead. Sgt.: Well, he was attacking me with a banana. Jones: But you told him to. Sgt.: Look, I'm only doing me job. I have to show you how to defend yourselves against fresh fruit. Idle: And pointed sticks. Sgt.: Shut up. Palin: Suppose I'm attacked by a man with a banana and I haven't got a gun? Sgt.: Run for it.
1. GAL. Feel contentment with my life, travel, TAKE JOY! 2. Earn at least $60,000 per year by 2019. 3. Be a buff, healthy woman at 125 pounds. 4. Have a reliable car I'm proud to drive. 5. Give my kids the things and time they deserve.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
The thread title cracks me up as does the advice if I'm attacked by a banana-wielding attacker
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
AJ, but suppose I'm attacked by a man with a banana and I don't have a gun?
Had another dream with Smokey. Again, we had a very messy house (one of Smokey's main complaints). At first I was very nervous around Smokey and trying to avoid him. I felt judged and hypervigilant about all the messes in the house. Some of the messiness, I was blaming myself for, but it was obviously too much for me to clean up alone. As I felt stronger, just like the last dream, I felt myself cleaning and straightening and putting things in order.
Smokey was here and there and fixing stuff. I kept thinking if/when he was going to leave again. At one point, he went to the store and I started going through his truck to find evidence of OW. Was he still with her? Was he home for good?
He was working on all sorts of things/projects around the house. As I became more confident, he began asking me to come and see what he was working on. He showed me how he had ripped out the tile in the bathroom (something he had actually talked about doing). I couldn't believe all that he had ripped out.
There was really no resolution in the dream. I remember thinking how I would ask Job about his behavior of his, again. And, I was completely unsure if he was here to stay. I do remember thinking how strange it was that he had sort of reappeared without my really noticing and he, when I thought about it, I realized he had been home for months, but I hadn't noticed.
My great-grandfather and grandmother (still living) were also in the dream. I had a nice moment sitting on a train station bench with my great-grandfather where I studied his face and felt so grateful to have known him. He was saying these really profound, comforting things about life. I wish I could remember what they were.
The dream left me wondering how souls communicate with each other. Were my grandmother and great-grandfather supporting me in my dream? Was Smokey working through all of this "stuff" with me in a way we can't in real life?
Can a lost soul still communicate with you via dreams and other worldly connections when the physical world doesn't make it safe? Or, is this me working through feelings? Or, all of of the above.
I know, in the past, when Smokey went out to use drugs before, I still felt a very strong connection to him.
I know this sounds like me NOT letting go. But, somehow, it feels like this is exactly HOW I need to let go. I need to know that the best part of Smokey will always be accessible to me, somehow. IDK.
Had a date with the Forester last night. We had fun. I laughed. He laughed. Enjoyed each other's company. He's very smart and funny.
My eharmony is blowing up. Flattering as it is, it's showing me that I really don't want a serious relationship right now. At the same time, I'm doing what I think I missed in high school. I'm seeing how different people bring different things to the table. No rush, I'm enjoying this process of getting to know men in a new way. A flirty, fun, no serious strings sorta way. Some guys have pushed a little and I've had to learn how to ease on the brakes and let them know, I'm not ready for phone calls and dates and so forth. Nice and easy. Take it or leave it.
I need to reconfigure my goals for sure.
I haven't heard anything from inlaws. Sorta scared about the temporary support order. Not sure what will happen next. Have to mail the legalaid form next.
I focused on Goal Number One today. After my student left, I took the world's best nap with the windows open and my dog next to me.
Not sure what to do tonight.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Heather, very interesting dream again. I have these once in a while. I had the dreams about H coming around right before I went to the vacation home on that weekend when I saw him every day. I haven’t had any dreams of him recently. I don’t what to tell about the dream, because they are mystery to me too. I do believe that spirits can connect in the dream though.
I doubt you will hear anything from the in-laws. They are probably ashamed, even though they still blame you. But they can only do it so much. I think they realize that Smokey has screwed up, but they will never admit it. I just hope that they are not plotting something nasty.
I can understand about the legal stuff. I would be a little edgy too. But, I’m sure it will be resolved and you can put it behind you.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Let eharmony be a boost to your ego and remember what a great woman you really are. Smokey has been blinded by his MLC...
Those dreams can be scary sometimes. I sometimes wake wondering if something has really happened, but it never has... The mind can play some nasty tricks sometimes.
If no gun, then run. It kinda rhymes making it easier to remember
Quote:
I know this sounds like me NOT letting go. But, somehow, it feels like this is exactly HOW I need to let go. I need to know that the best part of Smokey will always be accessible to me, somehow. IDK.
Then I say go with it. Mine that tunnel and see where it leads. You still seem to be working through the emotions. No rules on that. No timelines. But you're doing it well and you are doing it your way. That's the best way if you ask me.
As for learning to put on the brakes. Good job! That's an important part of relationships. I can tell you that I don't think it's a good time to be on eharmony. But you are the one that has to decide that. I can only go by my experience and I know at the same point you are, looking back now, I wasn't ready. I did go through the things I missed in high school/college. I think we all do. It doesn't last long, but it's a lot of fun at the time and very educational. Kind of a rebuilding of sorts. I know I also hurt and got hurt during that time. I wasn't ready emotionally to learn and deal with the repercussions. Not catastrophic, but not as good of timing as it could have been.
We tend to start by looking to replace what we had vs. rebuilding ourselves and then sharing it with somebody worthy. I submit we made that same mistake before. Personally, I'm also a bigger fan of meeting people where I am, doing the things I love to do. That also forces me to get out of the house and do things. When I was married I had too many responsibilities to do that like I do now. It's different and I like it! But to fully enjoy it, I had to be free from the ex. I wasn't when I first started dating and I had to take a break from dating to finish that up. That wasn't fair to the people I dated. It wasn't what they signed up for, you know?
That, and I know a lot of guys on the dating sites. I wouldn't let my sister date many of them
The dream? That's you still working through it all if you ask me. Your conscious isn't as much, but your subconscious is. Keep at it. Your work on you is working and you are doing really well and becoming "different" even if you don't notice it. I see it in your writing and the reflection of you that shows.
And that's a good thing, Heather. You are working through things...
AJ
P.S. it never hurts to carry a banana with you wherever you go. Just in case
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Thanks for dropping by Ab and Bright. It's good to hear from you guys.
Thanks AJ. I really needed to hear what you posted today.
Strangely, with the eharmony thing. I think I just needed to know I was still desirable. And, I've gotten that. Maybe not the best thing to need to see it "outside" of myself, through the eyes of men...but, still, I'll take it. My confidence needed a boost and I got it. I would have cancelled by now, but it's such a pain. One guy said it was like the mafia, you can't get out.
I have made a few nice men friends and I'm happy with this for now. One guy loves Monty Python and we text trivia to each other. Very benign and fun.
On the other side of things. I can see how many trollers are out there. Ick. I'm very careful.
This is how I'm looking at things...if one of these guys turns out to be a legitimate boyfriend sometime in the distant future, I will take it. I like having men friends. I like the idea of building a relationship slowly and cautiously with no pressure. I need to work on this in my dealings with men...allowing them to be where they are at and not forcing the issue. It's something I struggled with for years with Smokey. Now, I have a chance to let people be and let myself be. And, I have to admit, I'm enjoying it.
For now, I'm content to have a handful of nice guys interested in me and providing some distraction and friendship.
I have this hole in my heart and I'm sorta unsure how to fill it. I can see, now, how easy it would be to fill it with a man. I can also see how unwilling I am to take the easy fix. One guy is all like, "We both like strawberries!! It's a match made in heaven." Umm, no.
This same guy made it crystal clear to me how NOT ready I am for a serious relationship. He was asking about my favorite movies. He said he loved Josey Wales and The Good, Bad and the Ugly and I went straight to Smokey in my head. Those are HIS favorite movies. I immediately shut down. I'm not ready to share those movies with anyone else.
I'm learning. That's all. I'm learning. I'm learning about myself and men and getting my feet wet.
Last night's dream was about he civil war. Weird. I was a southern belle and the Yankees came in and burned everything and I was afraid of what was going to happen. Well, I guess we all know what happened!
I plan on going to church again this weekend.
I have a ton of work to do right now. These men have to stop distracting me.
Signed D11 up for dodgeball today and took her!!! She has four sessions at a local rec center. She is going with one of her besties, but the situation is full of stuff she hates...kids she doesn't know, loud gym, game she isn't sure about...but, she went!!!!!! Yay!!! And, she has three more.
At one point, the coach directed a question to her and asked her to say something about something...anyway, I was absolutely delighted at her progress. She loudly and confidently answered the question with humor and grace. No ONE would have EVER guessed this kid is on the Spectrum. That was my goal!!!
Of course, now it occurred to me that Smokey to try to prove she isn't on the spectrum, thanks to our hard work...but, we will cross this bridge when/if... TRUTH IS SHE IS ON THE SPECTRUM AND SHE IS DOING FABULOUS AND I couldn't be more pleased. :-) It's paying off :-) All this homeschooling/tutoring, building social skills...it's paying off. IT's PAYING OFF!!!
And, I went on a walk with a girlfriend yesterday. I need to keep pushing myself with this friend. She has been so good to me. And, I invited another friend over for some wine left over from the Biltmore.
I have a lot of detail, mainly financial, to figure out, but, things are falling into place.
The mama fox has SEVEN babies. So, I guess I shouldn't complain. So damn cute and cuddly. Fluffy heads peaking out. Gotta get those pics on the blog.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Heather, in my work over the years I have worked with a lot of different disability groups. One thing that is true for some men (not all, but it is a theme) is that they do not deal well with having produced a child that is regarded as 'imperfect'. Many come to terms with it, and become great coaches and support for others, but some do not easily get past it. I don't know why or whether it is really more true for men, just that I encountered it quite a lot, and some men were very open about it, and the problems they faced.
Smokey might be one of these men who hates the idea that there is anything 'wrong' with his daughter. Mainstreaming her, in his head might make him feel she is more 'normal'
I could be way off here, and I do not mean to suggest that all men are like this - but they do not seem to get the hormone rush that women get after delivery that bonds us to our baby even (and perhaps especially) if it is a small furry thing from alpha cenutrii.
Smokey is definitely one of those men. I've considered this before. I don't know if he feels compelled to look at himself then? Doesn't want to put in the hard work? IDK. I DO know that it's easier to blame me and say I created the diagnosis so I could stay home.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
