Came back in the early morning to find house torn up , overturned hampers and stuff strung out from closet all over floor. H is leaving this morning on work trip so he had needed to pack. I'm guessing he was drunk and couldn't pack like a normal person so he made a pig sty of a mess while looking for his clothes and boots.
I lay down in bed beside h who was asleep for awhile wishing this would go away. So after a few hours I woke up in a panic knowing h was soon to leave for airport. I decided I wasn't going to tell him I saw his truck at bar and was stalking him. So I just tried to sit quietly and shut my mouth, but of course that was short lived as soon as he told me when he comes back he will probably move in with his 23 yr old niece. All coaching went out the window as I calmly told him " please don't do this""I won't bother you, I will give you lots of space". He left with just telling me "we'll see".
H came home from trip and didn't immediately pack a bag and move out yet as he threatened . Is this even a small victory?
Woke up today feeling angry at h for some things he has recently said or done that I am just now letting sink in.
A couple weeks ago we were casually talking about neighbor lady that he is at the least having an ea with.
I pulled her aside and had a talk with her thinking she might just be needing someone to talk to, and since h claims they are just friends that maybe being a w and mother herself I could make her understand her presence around my h, there phone calls, her familiarity around him upsets me.
After our talk she seemed relieved that we got it out in the open, but after that she really has never spoke much to me again.
So she stops hanging out in garage with my h after that unless I was working all day, and one day he says to me that he Misses her because he loves her as his friend. Really? He has only told me ilybnilwy in recent memory.
Tells me I'm boring and evil but talks normal to anyone else without hostility as he does me
So I am not engaging conversation much with him right now as I need to seriously work in gal, but I did need to find out if his plane would arrive yesterday (if his business was finished) or on other day and he wasn't calling me. Dd was home alone last night while I went to downtown function and I called him to ask if he had taken the 9pm plane, tell him I was gone but fed dd and before I got out 2 words he angrily says
"Can I get off the f-ing plane?" And hangs up one
So he loves and Misses ow but I'm boring He talks with kindness and general goodwill to his friends and family or even a stranger but I get hissed at and hung up on.
I'm sitting here feeling a strong desire to bring up something that my husband is doing to me, he is talking to his mother right now, been talking 10 minutes about his trip last week. Telling her every little aspect of each day he was away. Laughing and being friendly . You know I talked to him as we'll about his trip and he said one little sentence.
I don't get it. It doesn't seem like he's doing anything TO you. He's just talking to his mom. It's actually none of your business what he talks to her about since it doesn't concern you.
You're still trying to control things. You want to force him to talk to you more. Let it go.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
The other day, we were discussing his trip and it was like pulling teeth. He talked to meat be 2 min and told me I was boring so I said goodby. But he just talked about the same thing to someone else and was open and willing and friendly.
Tells me he is Sabatogeing all effects to make anything better.
Came back in the early morning to find house torn up , overturned hampers and stuff strung out from closet all over floor. H is leaving this morning on work trip so he had needed to pack. I'm guessing he was drunk and couldn't pack like a normal person so he made a pig sty of a mess while looking for his clothes and boots.
I lay down in bed beside h who was asleep for awhile wishing this would go away. So after a few hours I woke up in a panic knowing h was soon to leave for airport. I decided I wasn't going to tell him I saw his truck at bar and was stalking him. So I just tried to sit quietly and shut my mouth, but of course that was short lived as soon as he told me when he comes back he will probably move in with his 23 yr old niece. All coaching went out the window as I calmly told him " please don't do this""I won't bother you, I will give you lots of space". He left with just telling me "we'll see".
Dreading his return and trying to brace myself
Hello stresse. I'm very sorry you find yourself in this sitch. We've all been there and it hurts like nothing else. What your h is doing is projecting a bunch of bs onto you; standard m.o. He's doing this because he has to try to make you the bad guy.
Just detach; don't try to start a conversation at all right now. If he tries to bait you, and he will, just give neutral, very brief answers:
"I have some decisions to make." "I'm sorry you feel that way." "I understand."
Then, clam up! Find something to busy yourself; don't hide in your room with a bunker mentality. Do not defend, get angry, cry, beg...well, you know.
H doesn't like it when you talk? Then don't talk. Screw it. He is just looking to provoke you so he can slap you down.
These WAS are very cruel; this is not unusual so try not to take it personally.
Welcome to the nonsense, you will be blamed for everything and are pretty much the punching bag. I am fairly new to this too. Learn to detach and gal. It is hard and you will make errors but hard ad it may be just move on. I call it piss off, meaning piss off it and delete it. Try not to dwell on things. It is very hard to do, but I have found it hurts me more if I dwell on what h has done.
This is the time for you and your kids. Enjoy them!
We all want to understand; to know "why?" thinking we could fix things if we only knew, "why?" I made myself nuts over the "why?" I know it hurts and is frustrating that here is no answer to this question.
