husband wants to bring kids around ow

[twinmom]

So I went home took an Ativan and laid down while the twins were napping. He had texted twice and called twice that I ignored..... while half asleep my phone rang and I answered it not looking at who was calling. He asked what was wrong, why we were not communicating anymore and I said nothing is wrong.
He asked how my Dr appointment was and I said, you were not there (MISTAKE, I know) but told him I hadn't gained any weight and had to go back in two weeks.
He kept trying to explain himself why he wasn't there but I kept saying it didn't matter I wasn't upset.
He asked what time seasame street live is on Saturday and what plans were for before/after.
He then asked about Easter and I said I was making dinner that I had invited his mom/dad if their family didn't make plans. That I thought it was important for the twins to see their grandparents on Easter.
He seemed to be searching for something else to keep me on the phone but I just said "is that all" and her couldn't come up with anything so I said good bye.
15 min conversation

[twinmom]

Just booked a solo trip to Vegas for 3 days at the end of April..... I have never gone on vacation alone (and have never been to Vegas) but I figured there is enough to do/see there I won't feel lonely and will enjoy the warm weather

[Georgiabelle]

Good for you! Solo trips are awesome. Enjoy yourself :-)

[twinmom]

H has a niece that turns 3 today.... her party is Sunday (right after the twins party) and I was thinking about going....
His biggest complaints in our marriage were that I wasn't accepting/close with his family and that I was too emotional.... one of my 180's has been to really form a good relationship with his mom. I was thinking me going to the birthday party would also show consistency in that 180


Thoughts on this?

[Georgiabelle]

Twin mom,

I'm no expert, but your h is living with another woman. It's great that you heard his complaints and perhaps those were valid. However, at this point you should only go to the party if YOU want to. I'm sorry but your h made a very grown up decision, and I think you need to focus on you at this time.

Just my 2 cents

[twinmom]

I do want to go, I love his family (they just drive me nuts)

He told me about the party and I asked if I was supposed to go (only his mom/brothers know what's going on his extended family has no clue) he said that choice was completely up to me.

[twinmom]

To clarify he has 4 brothers....
He is the oldest, next brother had been in/out of jail for drugs
The next one plays poker for a living but otherwise is ok, next brother is 28 still lives at home. No car, no job.... just refuses to grow up
Youngest is the 3yr olds dad and another baby due any day (same mom but they are not together) he just had his car repossessed and was served an eviction notice.... He has a job but can't manage money.
Dad is an alcoholic and his mom is a hoarder (I have never been into his parents house because H is too embarrassed) with the same money management problems as the youngest brother

I tend to practice tough love and H feels like he needs to be everyone's caretaker. That was our biggest problem, I wanted him to "detach" from his families negative behaviors and he felt like I didn't accept them. They are very nice people and I love them.

[Starsky309]

Twin mom,

I'm no expert, but your h is living with another woman. It's great that you heard his complaints and perhaps those were valid. However, at this point you should only go to the party if YOU want to. I'm sorry but your h made a very grown up decision, and I think you need to focus on you at this time.

Just my 2 cents

DITTO, so there's my third and fourth cents.

[Starsky309]

To clarify he has 4 brothers....
He is the oldest, next brother had been in/out of jail for drugs
The next one plays poker for a living but otherwise is ok, next brother is 28 still lives at home. No car, no job.... just refuses to grow up
Youngest is the 3yr olds dad and another baby due any day (same mom but they are not together) he just had his car repossessed and was served an eviction notice.... He has a job but can't manage money.
Dad is an alcoholic and his mom is a hoarder (I have never been into his parents house because H is too embarrassed) with the same money management problems as the youngest brother

Sounds like regular pillars of their community ((((rolls eyes))))

[figgeroni]

would you go if you were still together?
if you were still together, why would you go?

if those reasons are valid reasons like...I would go because we are family and I am close to this child, then YES I would go

if the reasons aren't valid like...I would go because we are married and I had to but I would only go for like an hour...then NO I wouldn't go

don't turn this child's party into someplace to try and show how you have changed...

this party is for her
if you would go for HER...go...

If no then stay home