Book/Info for the WAS?

[Upwards]

I mentioned a few things i've read in the Divorce Remedy to my H, mainly because it amused me how many of the things he has said that are in the book and how most WAS are very typical in their attitude and mindset.

He was very interested when I told him and wanted to understand whats going on for him and why he's walked away as he's very confused about things and has no idea what he wants, I just wondered if there's any info/books specifically for the WAS or that may help him understand whats going on for him?

Thanks in advance

[paul19510]

I mentioned a few things i've read in the Divorce Remedy to my H, mainly because it amused me how many of the things he has said that are in the book and how most WAS are very typical in their attitude and mindset.

He was very interested when I told him and wanted to understand whats going on for him and why he's walked away as he's very confused about things and has no idea what he wants, I just wondered if there's any info/books specifically for the WAS or that may help him understand whats going on for him?

Thanks in advance

Its great that he was interested. I think the common wisdom here is to let that sleeping dog lie

allow him to explore his own areas of concern and perhaps give him answers when/if he asks questions. keep improving yourself so that you feel healthy and happy as best you can in spite of this situation. I don't know of any readings that I would point out to him specifically at this point....

[Upwards]

Its great that he was interested. I think the common wisdom here is to let that sleeping dog lie

allow him to explore his own areas of concern and perhaps give him answers when/if he asks questions. keep improving yourself so that you feel healthy and happy as best you can in spite of this situation. I don't know of any readings that I would point out to him specifically at this point....

He's on a "journey" at the moment after coming out of rehab as a drug/drink free person I suppose he's finding his feet and who he is, he's constantly learning about his behaviours and investigating why he does the things he does so I suppose he's eager to understand.

I read him part of the first chapter of DR and he was very interested in it as said it made a lot of sense to how he was feeling - we have a meet up on Monday so just wondered if there's anything else he might fight useful but i'll just leave him to it for now if you think thats best and see if he asks any questions.

[Barrybran]

It does make sense to have some resources handy though. We're all here reading DB, DR, 5LL, etc to work on ourselves but when the WAS/MLCer starts to come round we're supposed to hide the books. I've found books extremely helpful for me so I'd like to think there's something we can direct our spouses to, even if it's just a 'when the time is right' thing.

[Upwards]

It does make sense to have some resources handy though. We're all here reading DB, DR, 5LL, etc to work on ourselves but when the WAS/MLCer starts to come round we're supposed to hide the books. I've found books extremely helpful for me so I'd like to think there's something we can direct our spouses to, even if it's just a 'when the time is right' thing.

Yeh he seems really eager to understand his behaviour & why he feels how he does etc. A lot of his behaviors and difficulties with emotion are very common in early recovery and he's very interested in why/when/hows of it all - I dont want to bombard him but at the same time if he wants the info I would like to help point him in the right direction.

I read 5LL and was telling him a bit about it a few weeks ago & he asked me could he borrow it as it sounds really good, I've delayed as dont think he'd actually read it yet but i'm going to give it him when the time is right then its up to him if he wants to read or not

[Barrybran]

I like that idea. I'll be expecting my wife to read 5LL if/when the time is right.