The star is inside of YOU!

[ericmsant2]

Bjudge

I waited to respond to you as I needed to figure out the best way to respond to you. Sorry it took so long.

Any advice on how you begin loving yourself?

This ^^^^ is probably the hardest question to answer because much like a lot of things in life it is not a one size fits all approach. Loving yourself, can mean different things to different people. I just mentioned on someone else’s thread….how my responses are painted by my own experience…so trying to express how to start is SPECIFIC to me. Maybe what I post here can help you. I hope it does.

I can only respond to what it means to me and how I began. The answer is short…… loving yourself to me means, that you accept YOURSELF EVERYDAY for who you are and who and what you are striving to be. It is total acceptance of oneself – even the crappy parts. It is living as the real YOU. No masks, no lies to yourself, no fakeness. It means, you know and accept that you are a work in progress and will be probably for the rest of your life. It means you know and will work to be the BEST person you can be EVERY DAY of YOUR LIFE. Loving yourself to me mean a sense of peace, calm inside of you that is not, will not, does not require anything from anyone – it is just inside. A peace that surpasses all understanding (I think that is a biblical term). That is not to say that having people in your life that love and cherish you is not important. It is. The difference IMO, is that you would like or want these people in your life – not NEED them. Loving yourself does not mean that you try and be perfect. It does not mean that you do not make mistakes, it does not mean that you will or will not have good relationships. Nope. It means PURE ACCEPTANCE OF YOU. It is how I feel living life as….quite simply…..me. So how does one begin the process? For me, I spent a lot of time INSIDE myself….learning about myself.. then I just CHOOSE to BE and LIVE life as ME. Kinda of love me for who I am or not…either way I was gonna be me.

The list Eric posted says "set boundaries" what specifically are these?

Google “boundaries”…you will find a ton or resources about them. In short, they are “rules” that are put in place to protect YOU. For example: One boundary that I have – if I am in a committed relationship, and my partner decided to cheat, I will end the relationship. No if ands or buts. It is that black and white. As I mentioned above, this is boundary is to protect ME. I know what I am worth, I love me, I value me, I also value my partner and so unless it was agreed that we would have an open R (I do not critize people who do – for each it’s own) cheating is not okay with me. Does this make sense?

If your S is still living with you, do you still hold them accountable for their actions? Or just let them live?

IMO, the answer is always yes – but it is much easier to say than to do. Allow me to explain, if my son broke one of my boundaries (no smoking in the house) then he will be accountable for their actions. Trust me when I tell you that when you have teenagers that will push to the limit – it is what teenangers do – I believe that you need to 1) be realistic with your own expectations (teenagers do not become adults if we try and FORCE our will on them – they do it on their timeline not ours) 2) have boundaries and clear accountability. So if my son smokes, he get’s punished. Period. If he wants to play the I am going to mom’s card then go right ahead. That said, I do believe that one must be very careful with setting of boundaries. There are a lot of variables to consider.

Hope this helps Bjudge.

[ericmsant2]

Read this and had to share...

Is it your name? Is it your relationships with your family and friends? Is it your choices of food, your taste in clothing, or the things you like to do in your free time? Is it the type of job you do? Is it your beliefs, whether religious, political, social, or cultural? Is it your height, gender, weight, body size and shape?

Some or all of these facts will represent how YOU see yourself in the world, and how many others will see you as well.

Now, what if YOU were told that all the above, whilst they shape your perception of yourself, they do not fundamentally represent Who You Are.

What if YOU were told that all the above was just information “programmed” into your cellular memory banks?

So many people are caught up in misbeliefs such as, “I can’t help it, it’s my personality” or “it’s not my fault, it’s in my genes”, or “that’s just the way it is in my family”, and so forth.

This simply isn’t true, unless you call faulty perception “truth”. Everyone can change their programmed responses.

We routinely programme our subconscious mind to carry out repetitive tasks. If we learn a task sufficiently well, such as brushing our teeth or tying our shoelaces, it becomes a programmed habit, and we do it without even thinking about it.

We also programme ourselves in other ways, often without even realising it.[b] For example, we may continue to buy the same brand of laundry liquid that our parents used to buy when we were growing up because there is an “inherited programme” of “safety and comfort” associated with that memory.

Many people are so completely identified with their personality and their life story that [b]they don’t understand they can, in fact, change both.

We can all do this... but how?!

How do we change, not just on the surface, but deep from within? How do we access our healing potential to radically heal and transform our lives from the inside out?

I believe that the key is to understand, and embrace, Who We Really Are. We must embrace our divine nature – that which lies hidden behind the personality self.

We were all born into this worldly existence, and we will all die and leave it, sooner or later – this much we do know.

If we will stop and deeply consider this fact, it begs the question of why such a passage exists? And, herein lies one of the keys to the remembrance of our true nature. We are each an extension of a greater, compassionate Source. We came from that Source and will return to that Source when we die.

If we can hold this inner awareness and understanding throughout our human lives, then our lives will be so much richer for it. We will see differently, we will think differently, and we will ACT differently.

“We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love... and then we return home.” (Australian Aboriginal Proverb)

If we take a droplet of water from the ocean, that droplet will have exactly the same properties as its source. There is no difference in quality, only in quantity. In like measure, we are made of the same substance as the Source from which we came, which some of us have called “God”.

Humanity is the “sum” of God, and we are all the sons and daughters of God.

We have inadvertently allowed ourselves to become separated from our own truth and this has lead to an inner and outer struggle of immense proportions. We are spiritually and emotionally bankrupt, which is reflected in the chaos and turmoil of our modern day lives.

We have been told at least two great lies – that we are separate from each other, and that we cannot heal ourselves. These lies have lead to feelings of disempowerment and disillusionment on a massive scale.

You are invited to move into awareness again, and self-realisation at the highest level. As we each come to remember our Non Physical essence, our world will come back into balance and wholeness.

Life isn't about avoiding difficult moments, is it? I believe that it isn’t. Rather, life propels us forward through contrasting, or unwanted, situations. Yet, we must want to use our difficulties to transform ourselves into something grander, something greater. It does not happen by default.

No one will ever have all the answers to life’s mysteries. Yet, that is not an excuse of a lack of inquiry into the unseen causes of our human lives.

There is a reason why you are currently in the job you are in, living in the house or apartment that you’re in, alone and happy, or lonely and unhappy, in a happy relationship, or in an unhappy relationship, why you have “the family from hell” or the most loving, caring family.

For every effect in our lives, there is a thought pattern that precedes and maintains it. If you really want to change your life, you have to take ownership. You have to stop blaming others for whatever is “wrong”.

You have to learn to bless everything and show gratitude for what you do have. This is no easy task, given our modern day propensity to blame anything and everything under the sun, except ourselves.

[dxw689]

Thank you for this thread - I took a break from posting for awhile to detach more and obsess a bit less, but this thread really helps...

[Georgiabelle]

I just reread this (35 k in the air) and I needed to see this again. Fear $&@ ?s -especially when you see digging to find out what you see really afraid of. That's where I'm at. Thanks Eric! Actually, I was raised in the south so I can say "thanks sugar!" Jk.

I do appreciate your insight:)

[Georgiabelle]

Oops. Are digging^^^^

[nyk]

Thanks for this post...I am new here, but this is great on the first day! I have an appt. with my counselor tomorrow;Guess what I want to talk about???

[ericmsant2]

Hey guys...

My future father in law is in the hospital having surgery. Please if you don't mind...pray for him.

Thank you
Eric

[job]

I will keep him in my thoughts and prayers. May he come through the surgery and recover slowly but surely.

[AJM]

Absolutely will keep him in my thoughts and prayers. Let us know how he does.


AJ

[Rick1963]

Sorry to hear about that buddy. Will keep him in my prayers