Willbwell, it looks like you are making some progress regarding financial matters and about your D16. One step at a time. This is good.
I’m in the same boat. No discussion about D, and I’m not doing it myself, at least for now. Time will tell when I’m ready. I also think that everybody is different and need different time to heal. Take your time. There is no point forcing it because you are getting older. Take care of yourself.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
just reading around- you are sounding very strong and philosophical.
Quote:
I was thinking this morning how this journey has been such a rollercoaster...much like others mention. A rollercoaster in the dark of night and we have no idea where it's headed.
wow- have you got that right. it will be three years in july since i "found out" what my life(w/h) REALLY was/is - instead of what i thought.
i am still here- i have no idea why- other than i am just going about my life as it is at moment because i cannot bear to upset another applecart in life or think of being totally alone. still hoping God/universe presents me with the appropriate "answer" one of these days/years...
my mom just passed away- and when you were saying about your children's less than perfect childhood- i'd just say that my dad died 45 years ago and mom took over being mother and fther. she was unprepared in every way- but dug in her heels- raised us all- supported the family- DID THE JOB and has raised daughters who are strong and independent. whatever else she did or was- she provided an example and values that came stright thru every mess in life. what she was- what we've become.
kids learn to deal with what they are given- maybe no life is perfect- you sound like you're being the best you possible- it will be "enough" if it has to be.
did that make sense? thanks for sharing-
the ow in the new job place- i'd probably not be able to rise abov3e the ratty comment- so good for you.
i'm soooooo "contained" all the time and discreet- maybe i'm getting tired of this all- we'll see.
Today is my birthday. Feel happy. just went to yoga. having lunch with a girlfriend. Picking up dinner tonight for kids and me so I don't have to cook! got a bday card from h. it was funny. told him thank you. was here to take d to school. I was standing where he had to go past me, no physical contact...but that is ok. I get it. d is going to stay fri night with h. told s17 I want to go see a movie for my bday. He said ok. Yeah! that makes me happy!
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you! It will be a good year! I can have expectations for myself right?
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
h just left with d. I asked him about the work situation. He said he found out on Tue he was going to the city where ow is. I asked did he request it. he said it was 4th on his list. I asked if he was still involved with ow. he said no. I said how he could see why that city would be especially bothersome to me. He offered nothing further. he says ow is no longer in that city. he finally shared new city where ow is. I feel he is still protecting her. only giving the info because I ask. next he asked if I had spoken to my L. I said no. He said he got a call from his L saying my L said I didn't want the D. I told h "I never wanted the D" I don't think his L told him about the D being moved to be dismissed. He asked me what does that mean.... I said since there had been no action it was being sent to dismissal. I said his L should have known that same as mine. He then left with d.
I want to believe him. I still see the sadness and pain. He is stressed. I don't think he has any joy. makes me sad.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
I don’t know if your H is protecting OW… He is probably protecting his ego. He is ashamed to admit that it didn’t work out with OW. I don’t see why he could lie about not being involved with OW any more. If they are no longer together, then I see why he is not doing anything about the D.
Like Job would say, sit quite and the answers will come to you. Keep doing what you’ve been doing, no R talk. Don’t bring D subject unless he asks.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
