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WR,
That is definitely odd behavior, but I've heard of this before. They come and park in the driveway or on the street and just sit there w/the engine running. It's almost like they get there and then don't know how to come up to the door and ring the bell or knock. Then again, it could also be a "visual visit" to see that the home is still there and looks the same.

There's really no way to figure out the why of this visit...but he's got something on his mind and doesn't know how to communicate it just yet.

Continue to be patient...the answers will come.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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White, my H texted me almost exactly a year ago at 3 a.m. in the yard. Came inside and said he had done it a lot. He would park the truck and walk around the yard. I don't know if he still does it?? He lives an hour away so it would be much more difficult. I'm sure he's driven by though.

The kids thought it was really weird. In the summer, I'm a little more paranoid when the windows are open. :-)

They are a strange bunch, that's for sure.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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My xh use to do that here, as well as at my parents. He would also come to the house when I wasn't home, come into the house and I guess either sat around or slept. I deliberately stopped dusting because I wanted to see what he was doing. It was very strange, but to this day, I don't know what he was doing. I had a password lock on my computer and had the TV's on certain channels, etc. so that I could at least have a sense of what he was doing...but no...I'll never know.

They really do some strange stuff and there's no rationale for it.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Thanks ladies. He drove away as soon as I started to open the blinds to peer out. Didn't park but stayed in the middle of the road, as per normal,I think he may be lonely or pondering. Just the face he messaged S14 at that hour leads md go believe that. I guess, as this is new behavior all of a sudden, it kinda freaked me out.

Is it funny to say I kinda thought at done point he would? I just always knew he would drive by, but, as it's almost at the year mark I just thought I was crazy for thinking that. Wonder what he's up to? He must be really low to be starting this. That's what my gut tells me anyway


M 16 T 20
M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15
Bomb drop April 4;
Moved out April 13
D started-full force
-----------------------
Dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and
you’re gonna hear me ROAR
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Posts: 5,666
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It was a year mark when Smokey owned up to it. Couldn't say if it continued/continues or not.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Hi Everyone........I'm checking in. As you have seen (or not seen) I've taken a break from the boards but H is still in full MLC swing. Today is BD Anniversary day. At first I'd given myself a year to stand and here I am just wish it was all over because I'm tired of the crazy.

He continues to spin out of control and today messaged me, at 6:30 am, to let me know he'd quit his job and if the boys, are I, needed any prescriptions or dental to do it before his benefits run out at the end of the month. According to my BIL, that works at the same place H used to, all HR would say is he is working at a print shop. So here he is back at it......He left printing because he couldn't stand it. The job, that he has now left, was such a source of great joy and now, once again, he's made another change in search of happiness. This is his 6th job move in 20 years (not including the two years he was laid off and had 2-3 jobs until he could get back into a print shop). I did respond to his email with a "Thanks for letting me know and have a good weekend" response.

I have been to Monte Carlo, back as of three weeks ago, for work. I messaged H the day I left that I was going away for a few days and the boys wanted to stay in the house (I had discussed this with my L and she said it was fine as one was 19 the other almost 15 and my parent's would be monitoring and that we could not force the boys to go with their dad). Needless to say, H was angry VERY ANGRY. He sent me some nasty text messages and then called me (this was his first phone call to discuss anything that I had sent him) where he rambled about everything I had done wrong, how I was trying to destroy him, that he was their legal guardian as well and had a right to have them before my parent's did, I stayed very calm and simply stated facts. At one point he told me he didn't want to hear my Bu11$hit answers that I had learned from a book and when I showed some emotion he would talk to me. It spun more out of control and I ended up warning him I would have to hang up if he didn't calm down. I did have to hang up in the next few sentences. He called back two hours later to basically continue to list all my faults and how I'm trying to "get him" to which I remained very calm and stuck to the facts. He then told me that me and my lawyer (as on several occasions I mentioned that I was not doing anything that it was simply how the law works) were too emotionally invested. I didn't respond to that. I did end up having to hang up again saying that he was obviously quite upset, that I was starting to get upset, and that it would not end well and that the conversation was over. When I got to Monte Carlo I noticed that SIL #2 had followed, and then unfollowed, me on instagram (she's done this a few times) so I just blocked her. Opened my email and there was an email from his L about how I had, pretty much, abandoned the boys and he would do everything he could to look after them but would need more notice next time. Wanted to know how much the trip to France (which I did not mention to him but SILL must have told him) cost, where I got the money and when I'd be back. Also, from and earlier email re: the separation agreement, still not signed BTW, I had made a reference that I conned to pay the mortgage and was keeping his credit score in tact, they wanted proof. I replied back to my L telling her the boys had been provided for. That it was a work trip and I had no idea how much my (5 star) trip was costing and that unless there was a mortgage fairy I was unaware of it gets paid every two weeks and exactly who does he thinks puts the money in? My L replied and basically stated the facts about the boys and the trip and that the mortgage never was in question before and how is it financially responsible to basically create problems where there are none. S19 messaged me a day later a text between himself and SIL #2 and it was basically that S19, S14 and Newphew 14 had gone to the drive in. S19 posted a pic to instagram (H did not, now does, have an instagram acct) so she messaged (whom she thought was H) saying "S19 is at the drive in. Just posted a pic" S19 responded "yeah that was me" SIL#2 responded "oh, yeah, have fun" S19 immediately messaged H to tell him he was sick and tired of SIL#2 yelling at him, friending, unfriending, blocking, and tattling on him to H. H responded that it was because she invites S19 over but he's always too busy. Two days later I went onto FB to add a friend and noticed that SIL #2 (that had blocked me on FB) was now "following" me (so from what I understand about that anything that I post as public (as we're not friends) will show up in her feed) I blocked her on FB too. When I got back I had to forward H a consent form for S14's ADHD testing and he called me to discuss it. I was polite and answered his questions. Next day he called me (7:30am) to ask if I knew anything about Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) saying he had not filed his 2012 taxes. I said Ididn't know anything as I had given him his file before he left and that I assumed he had taken it all with him. He said he would figure it out. I said that was great. Next day I got a message with his new phone number to which I thanked him. Got a message about CRA again and him needing the acct's contact info, which I sent to him, called the acct myself to ask what was going on and she said "Remember how I called him 3-4 times to come in and sign the forms so I could send it to them?" "yes" (I had asked her to do that) "He never came in so it was never sent" So it's tax time again and H owed approx $1200 to revenue canada which means there is 5% compounded daily interest on that, and the penalty, going back a year. It would also explain why I never received my child tax credit for 2013.

And now we're at my anniversary and he's quit his job.....13th is the anniversary of him moving out. What a year. Didn't think I'd survive BUT you guys have gotten me through those darkest moments when I thought that death was a better option. Thank you to you all for being such a blessing.....to those of you only a short way in.....you can do this. You truly can.


M 16 T 20
M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15
Bomb drop April 4;
Moved out April 13
D started-full force
-----------------------
Dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and
you’re gonna hear me ROAR
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Posts: 5,666
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White,

I'm so sorry about the continued crazeeee. You sound strong though and I know you will take care of you and the boys. :-) They are so lucky to have you!

Much love,

Heather


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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WR,
I'm glad you took a business trip and Monte Carlo is a very interesting place to travel to. Every time I visit the area, I think of Princess Grace and all she stood for. I do hope that you were able to enjoy yourself a bit and take in some of the sites. Did you get an opportunity to visit the casinos for a bit?

Oh, I think the man quit his job out of spite this time around, but he's going to find he's not happy back in the printing area. Again, it's his own fault and once again, he'll have to face the consequences of his actions.

Now, I really am curious as to what your SIL has to gain for being the spiteful witch. Your son is old enough to look out for his younger brother and quite frankly, they are both mature enough to take care of themselves. It's not like your parents actually stayed w/your sons. Besides, they wouldn't have wanted to stay w/their father and I'm sure you would not have wanted him staying in the home.

I have to say that you do sound stronger and I think the trip did you a world of good. I'm just sorry you have had to deal w/his MLC crazy making and his sister's nonsense while you were away.

Please take care of yourself.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Hey...lookeee...who popped out of the DB hole? It's WR, of course! smile

Job, I'm thinking that SIL is acting as H's spy for the kids and sucking up info on WR to relay to H. Sick people. It is good that WR unfriended SIL. Who needs wackos like that?!

WR, you're doing a good job of sticking to the facts. H cannot argue his way out of those facts. Well done on the phone convos with H and hanging up when he became disrespectful to you. You've come a long way, baby!

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Thank you Heather...it's so nice of you to say. I'm pretty lucky to have them too (although have two teenage boys 24/7 I sometimes want to throttle them smile )

Hi Job! It is so beautiful there and I did get a day to go to Cannes and a few hours here and there to go exploring in Monte Carlo. I'm not much of a gambler but did eat Crepe Suzette at the Hotel di Paris and took lots of photos of different things. I'm sure his boss was an a$$ (I mean he was a little but there's one in every office!) and it was too close to my BIL, too close to our house, I wanted him to have the job and he did it for me.....one of three million excuses. She's a real piece of work Job. Even said, in a text to S19, that one day she hoped he'd understand why his dad left his mom. When I heard that I was so angry. I wanted to slap a restraining order on her--I couldn't believe anyone would say that to a child (let alone his own aunt!) Actually, H, during our phone conversation, accused my family of poisoning the boys against him to which I calmly replied that "the only family member that is in contact with the boys about our relationship is SIL#2" to which he interrupted that she only was trying to get them to visit but they're always too busy. I'm guessing he's referring to the fact that a week before spring break S19 received a text asking if they wanted to go get together to which he mentioned he had to work and his school (as he's in college) had a different break from the regular system. She responded with a "well, you can always call us too you know.....unless you're not allowed to use the phone" He was so upset he messaged me the conversation to which I told him to thank his aunt for the invite and that he is permitted to use the phone. She replied that was good to know. I have told both boys they are not permitted to refriend their aunt (she's since asked again) on FB. I said if she messages you you need to reply with respect but that FB was off limits as this whole back and forth thing and spying is not happening anymore......I don't care if it gets me in trouble. My boys don't need that!

Hi Wonka......here she is! LOL Yes, I just had to block her off of my stuff....it was turning into craziness and I don't need to be speed on. Yes, him getting all flustered because I show no emotion, and then the second convo my lawyer and I are too emotional, him yelling I need to "stop saying it's the law" and a few other zingers shows that I'm hitting a nerve. At one point I told him he really needs to talk to his L about how this works as he seems to need to have some clarification to which he yelled "I don't talk to my L!" ummmmmmmm the things I wanted to say to that! You have a L but you're getting you're info off of the street?? I didn't say that but WOW

Thank you all for saying I sound stronger.....you know, I think I am. I'm getting to the realization he's never going to come home healthy and I certainly don't need him like this. I was talking to a friend the other day and said you know I now see that in the two years before BD I lived in a constant state of anxiety. Was scared to ask for help, or for chores to be done, or to go here or there, always waiting to see what he'd complain about or who he'd complain about. The 13th he'll be out of the house for a year and things have certainly not turned out as he wanted. We're close to a signed separation agreement but, yet so far. Also, one of the things he freaked out on was when he could come get his stuff (we have agreed to a division of property) to which I replied when I got back we would set up a time for him to come get it (he then again asked when to which I said when I get back we'll set up a time to get together when the boys aren't home.....I DON'T GIVE A F WHERE YOU'RE GOING OR WHO YOU'RE GOING WITH" LOL) anyway, guess who still has not contacted me about it since I've been back. I honestly don't know how standers do it with these people in their house.......their strength level must be through the roof!

Hope you're all well and that life is filled with blessings xoxox


M 16 T 20
M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15
Bomb drop April 4;
Moved out April 13
D started-full force
-----------------------
Dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and
you’re gonna hear me ROAR
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